Hi,
I don't know where to start really. I don't normally post on websites but I am at a loss. My marriage of 20 months is ending and I don't know how to fix it. I guess I should recap and give a brief history of the situation. My husband and I got married and found out a few months later we were going to have a baby. We were so happy about this. She is a beautiful happy baby.

All was going good or so I thought. We are in the process of a move so the movers came and picked up our things and put it in storage. I moved in with my family with the baby while my husband went away for 6 weeks for work before our move. He called a few weeks ago now and told me he isn't happy and doesn't want this anymore. He doesn't love me. He is actually not in love with me but will always love me (that never made sense to me but anyways). So now I am at a loss.

All my things are in another state in storage and I have to go and get them at my expense. Which isn't helping matters.

All I do is cry and cry. I want to work this out because I love him dearly. I don't know what to do. I pray and pray and it isn't helping. I am lost and lonely and confused.

Any advice would be helpful. I am going to see him in 2 weeks and I am worried about how to act when I see him.

Thanks in advance for your time.

LostinSC, I know exactly how you are feeling. I too have just moved 2 states away for my husbands job and now have discovered he was having an affair. Although my husband (married 20 months as well) says that he loves me and wants to stay together, he will not stop contact with the OW. You waiver between crying, feeling angry and wondering what you are going to do, but feel there are no answers.

I know this is difficult advice to follow but you have to find a way to remain calm when you see him. It could be that he just got scared of the commitment of wife and baby and once he got away for a while he thought he might like that better. Most men freak a little bit at first with a new child and the change it brings to their independence. He could easily realize what he is giving up in two weeks time as long as you do not give in and try making concessions just to keep him. He has to accept you and your baby as you are, or not at all.

Good luck.

It's just really hard to understand how he can walk away from us and the vows we made so easily.

I hope things work out between you and your husband. At least I know I am not the only one going through something like this.

Anne

Hi LostinSC
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through...especially since you just had a baby ...congratulations, by the way <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I can't imagine what it must feel like to be a new mom and to be going through this with your husband. I think that our husbands are only thinking of themselves and what they want to do. The base of all the problems I have with mine is that he's still in "single mode" He doesn't realize that everything he does and all the decisions he makes directly effects me. He just goes about his business like he's single and doesn't take me into consideration anymore. I got more consideration and respect when I was the girlfriend!!! (sad, huh?!!?) Maybe your husband got that "taste" of being single again. What I mean by that is he's living somewhere where he can do whatever he wants, come and go as he pleases, do the things that single guys do. However, I think that when you see him in 2 weeks, he's going to realize how important you and the baby are to him and hopefully he tries to work things out with you. Let me know how things go <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi JCW,
It just blows me away that my husband is acting this way as I am sure it does yours. It's like they revert back to their single selves and don't realize that they might lose the best thing that ever happend to them. Is your situation getting any better?

It's weird some days my husband calls and is nice on the phone. I am scared to answer when he calls because I don't know if he is going to yell at me or if he is going to be nice. And when he is nice and social it weirds me out because I don't know what is the motive behind it. I shouldn't be worried to talk to him but some days I am.

If you don't mind me asking was there something that started your husband going back to acting in his single ways? For my husband all I can think of is him being away at school for work.

Take care!