what to do if your new husband just got diagnosed with an STD?

Hi Greenpoint,

The first and most important thing you should do is go to the doctors and get yourself checked out! I guess it depends on the STD he has...if he has crabs, that doesn't necessarily mean he cheated on you because you can get that from a toilet seat. If it's something like chlymedia or gonherrea, that can take time to show up in a man...how long have you guys been together for? When my husband and I first started dating, I went to the Dr's and found out I had chlymedia after being abstinent for about a year so I KNEW he had to have given it to me......his Dr said that sometimes men get side effects and sometimes they don't. So maybe this is something he's had for a while?? Have you been suspicious that he's been cheating on you?? Were you guys pretty stable before this all happened?? What does your husband say about it? I'm sorry this is happening to you..let me know how your situation goes <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You get everything out on the table. You both get tested for all major STDs. You learn everything you can about the STD(s) you and/or your husband have.
Certain STDs (like HPV which is VERY common and spreads even if condoms are used) can be carried for years by men and women with no symptoms, so try not to jump to conclusions about infidelity, but be prepared to deal with that possibility.

I found out I had HPV (the kind most likely to cause cervical cancer) during the first year that DH and I were dating. It turns out that he did cheat on me during that first year, but we don't know if I got it from him or not. We were able to recover from what seemed like a completely devastating relationship set back. I was treated for the STD and have had clean PAPS ever since (it's been about five years). We have practiced radical honesty in our relationship and we both work very hard on my trust issues.

Best of luck to you. I hope everything works out okay.

Smile