I met my current girlfriend about 10 years ago. We dated for about 5 months, then she had to move away with her mother. She met someone and had a little girl, and I got married. A while back I got divorced due to an unfaithful wife who had 2 affairs, and I was on my own. Then one day my old girlfriend runs into me and we started dating. We have been together for a while and started talking about marriage. She said yes, and she has never been married. She told me she had to tell me something first-that she has been with 20 partners and that she wanted me to know before I ever found out on my own. Now I don't know what to think. She sais she is truly sorry and that she loves me and always has but couldn't have me untill now. She said she feels horrible about it and wishes she could take it back. But just wanted to be honest. She sais she let herself be used because no one wants a single mom with a kid and she needed a relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that she loves me, and that I love her. I just can't go through an unfaithfull marriage again, and with her track record, I really wonder if she can be faithfull.

kdgreen23,

That girlfriend from so long ago was not being unfaithful, she truly did need to feel loved by someone and that was, from what she told you, the only way she knew that a man would accept her. She had cut herself down in size so much that she didn't believe that a man would have anything to do with her otherwise.-- I've been there! Admittedly, when I finally met a man who refused to do any of that with me and started treating me like a lady, my whole perspective of myself began to change. And so did my behavior.
I've been in a relationship where my H had an affair - I never did. I waited ten years before I married again. This time he refused to follow Dr. Harley's principles - I felt like trash again. He gave me every reason I could think of to have an affair, but I never cheated - I couldn't live with myself if I had. Sounds like she's pretty much in the same boat I was for so long.
She told you about all of that to make sure you know where she "messed up" and the fact that she realized it and to find out if you would still love her anyway. One of the biggest things you would be doing to throw in the towel now is to reaffirm to her that sex is the only way a man would have anything to do with her. She's trying to be honest to the core, giving you the power to destroy her and trusting you not to.
All those years she was hunting someone to love her, you weren't there; you were with someone else - she needed someone too.
If you can back off from your "taker" long enough to take control of how you act (instead of reacting to your xwife's behavior) you'll find it to be true. The feelings you are feeling right now come from yuor xwife's behavior - not this girl's behavior. She had absouletly no reason to be "faithful" to "you".
The only person she was cheating was herself, and didn't even undrstand it in full.
You now have a power in her life you don't even understand. All I can do is tell you what I've learned and pray that you can get past your x and have a new life with someone that cares enough to come to you "emotionally naked", handing a sharp knife to you and hoping you won't use it on her.

Becki

Becky:

Thanks so much. Your reply really hit home. I know I have some issues to get through. But you are correct, she owed me nothing. And now wants to be with me forever. I would be as bad as anyone else that used her if I didn't trust her and give her a chance. Thanks so much. You are awesome.

kdgreen23:
Being hurt by an unfaithful spouse always makes you a more cautious individual. After all who wants to get hurt again? NO ONE. Your current girlfriend is trying to be open and honest with you about a part of her past. I'm sure telling you about her sexual partners was very hard for her to disclose. She did tell though, because she loves you and wants you to make the decision whethere or not to marry w/ a full deck of knowledge. I personally think her willingness to be open and communicate with you even on a tough subject shows her sincere desire to be with you and also shows her respect for you and your relationship. Additionally your new girlfriend is not your ex-wife. That being said do not judge new girlfriend by the standards that you judged with who hurt you. It's not fare to the new girlfriend. She did not cause the pain, the ex. Don't allow the mistake of your ex prevent you from being with the woman you love and having the future you want. Your ex did her damage. Let it lay in the past and don't let it controll your future. She doesn't have that authority over you and really is not worth it!

Tired of seeing the trolls on top. lets bring true posters back up