I have been married now for about 6 months and I love my husband VERY much. He is in the Army and is going though flight school. I know he's busy but I feel like I am not sexually and emotionally attractive to him anymore.
First he takes to his "bestfriend" all the time. She is a 5'7" knock out with blonde hair and blue eyes and they talk on the phone all the time. She also sends him cards saying she's behind him 110% and she loves him and misses him. She never teels him to say hi to me or writes hello to me and she was in our wedding! I told him I didn't feel right about this but he said I'm just jealous. I know I'm not a jealous person because I don't have a problem with ANY of his other female friends. He talks to her more than he talks to me and she's 3000 miles away! I feel like a line is being crossed.
Secondly he never seems to have time for me. I know he's busy but even on the weeksends he'd rather hang out with his unit than me. He asks me to go with him so I usually do and he leaves me and I end up talking to a guy with girlfriend problems or something (not really my idea of a fun night out). Then we come home... I have a very high sex drive and so did he before we got married. We used to have sex all the time, he loved for me to whisper things like "I want you" when we were out in public so he could get excited about what would happen later that night. Now he pushes me away when I do things like that, tells me to be quiet. He hardly ever is affectionate to me in public, and sex has gone out the window...we might have sex once every 2 weeks. I am a VERY physical person and he knew that before marrying me. I need to feel wanted and now I feel like trash. I'm young and I know I'm not ugly, but I don't understand why he doesn't want me anymore.
I have pleaded with him to go to therapy with me but he refuses saying he doesn't have time. he says I can go but he never will. THis is KILLING ME!!! what can I do? PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
Signed
Feelin' Hopeless <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Fly,

Wecome to MB. Not the greatest place to have to fid around the holidays, but you will find some great people on here.

Having spent 8 years in the Army I can honestly say the spouses need to get medals for just dealing with all the BS that goes with it.

I wouldnt say your being jealous. Their actions are wrong. There are 4 woman who can say they love me. One of course is my wife. Then my mom, and 2 neices. If I said it to any other woman my wife would have me by the short and curlies so fast it wouldnt be funny. And she would be right to do so.

Here is a link. See if you can get your husband to take this test. The read the article that the link in my Signature leads to.

http://shirleyglass.com/quizfriendship.php

You may also want to try posting in general questions, it gets a lot more traffic, but being a holiday everything on here will be slow today.

<small>[ December 25, 2004, 07:23 AM: Message edited by: john3479 ]</small>

Fly,

I just read your post and realized where you are stationed.

I live just a few miles from you and would like to have a chance to meet you and talk. I've been in your shoes and know how it feels - it feels like hell here on earth.

If you are interested in meeting some time just let me know and then we can go from there.

Becki

hi fly,

i understnad your predicament very well...as am also in the same situation as you..difference is that am married now for 9 yrs and my husband has been like this for the past 3 yrs..sex only once in 6 months...whereas when we were newly married it used to be everyday...

i am also trying to figure out what is going wrong?? i also had the same case where earlier if i made moves it thrilled him..and now he brushes me aside sayign he is sleey,headache etc. he makes me feel cheap and trashy for even making such moves!!!

i also dunno what to do?? my one major difference is that though my husband also has many female friends,am unaware if he is giving any spl extra attention to any one of them as he rarely if ever recives calls from them at home..most of them call on his cellfone and at his office...

so i dont knwo about that front barring one particular girl who once shamelessly asked my husband to take her and her mother to hospital(the old lady was sick)though i pointed out to my husband that she had her father and brother as well as married older sister who could have helped out just as wel(after all you can hire a cab from practically anywhere,cant you??!!)why did she need my husband's car to take her mother??not once did she have the decency to ask me if i minded or not. she simply directly called and asked him..only thing is...my husband was open about this and told me that she had asked for his help.
to him there was nothing wrong in what he did..he was simply helping out someone in need of help!!
and we had a massive fight over the issue..and the scars of them still remain in my mind and heart...am too hurt..i feel suspicious of him all the time...sometimes i even hate him!! but am sitting in thsi marriage just for the sake of my son and the fact that my husband has just got a transfer to singapore and this chance to go abroad away frmo these ppl may change him and things for us for the better!!

echobonita