To begin I am very young only 21, however I grew up fast graduated HS at 17 moved out completely on my own at 17 and now have my Associates working on a BA. I also run my own company that is doing very well. My wife and I dated 2 years before being engaged for a year. Things are ok, but the pressure of full time work and full time college on both of us is difficult. We are always busy and always stressed out. This has its toll on my wife. We are both young and very attractive so I cannot figure out why I continually want almost every girl I see at college even though the sex is not lacking at home I just feel I am missing something..we were eachothers first and only so am I doomed to live a life of wondering? I am sometimes deeply sorrowed by the thought of never dating again and looking back with regret, though I dont want to become a jerk and hurt my wifes feelings and do something dumb like cheat or divorce. However it seems pointless to me to become involved at school because the the temptation is so strong and the opportunities are endless. Can someone help with these issues....

Not exactly sure what you want help with.

Are you doomed to a life of wondering? Probably, as long as your focus is outward, instead of devoted completely to your wife.

Is your jobs and school wearing? Certainly seems like it? What can you do? Cut back. Make sure that you're meeting each other's EN's and make sure that you spend plenty of time together working on both having fun and working on your relationship.

Did you review the Concepts and Q&A section at the top? Lots of good info there.

If you're looking for somebody to hand you a pat neat little answer that will tell you to run around, you will look a long time. The point of this is to focus on marriages. Worrying and ogling the hardbodies aroudn you is defintely taking the focus off the marriage. Hormones or not.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">We are both young and very attractive so I cannot figure out why I continually want almost every girl I see at college even though the sex is not lacking at home I just feel I am missing something</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Say hello to instincts...we all got 'em.
People who marry "too" young aren't doomed, but they sure as heck have some extra challenges and you are experiencing one of the big ones. You're not a bad person for what you are feeling, but you have made a committment and I suggest working hard to focus on making this a happy marriage rather than dwelling on the "what ifs"...we've all got those, too. The younger you marry, the more "what ifs" you'll face and the harder it will be to ignore them, but that's one of the things you agreed to in marriage. Don't forget your vows!

Take care,
Smile

The way I see it, you have three choices.
1.) Think with your mind and you will contemplate reasons to cheat and excuses for cheating.
2.) Think with your willy and you will cheat without thinking and fumble over your lies that your own deception got you.
3.) Think with your heart. It will not steer you wrong.

By putting your wife in your shoes, imagine how you would feel if she had an affair. It may be a fling or something more, do you deserve that? The thought of your world as you know it, falling to pieces should help you with whatever it is you may be thinking.

Being a woman myself, I would want to know; delicately ofcourse. If my significant other is having thoughts about all these women he cross paths with I'd like to know. Knowing he is satisfied at home would make me wonder why he is having these thoughts to begin with. You may be having other issues you are relating with sexual energy.
Or truth be known you are still young, and possibly expierencing your "peak". If that is the case, its normal. You just have to control your urges and express yourself with your partner. Woman are more understanding then husbands give them credit. Sharing can build trust and a stronger bond. If you don't know how to tell her, simply bring her here to read your post. She will see your intentions are to include her and not to deceive her.

My partner telling me something that he fears will make me hate him, will only show me how much he loves me; and how far he will go to share his life with mine.
(This is only how I would feel if my partner shared the same information with me.)

I think the first thing you should do is to let your wife know exactly how you feel, which I would bet money, that you haven't done so.

Read the "The Policy of Radical Honesty" in the marriage builders website. I strongly urge you to follow it. Here is just a little exert ..."Honesty is the only way that you and your spouse will ever come to understand each other. Without honesty, the adjustments that are crucial to the creation of compatiblity in your marriage cannot be made. Without honesty, your best efforts to resolve conflicts will be wasted because you will not understand each other well enough to find mutually acceptable solutions."...

Personally because of my faith in Christ Jesus I believe that the wages of sin are death, and I think this scripture can be applied to your situation in such a way that if you commit adultery then your marriage will die and if that is want you want then atleast be man enough and save her the heart ache of a cheating husband and leave now. (and by no means will this be a easy thing to do, but you must find the courage to tell her). Good luck and God Bless.

Buddy, you've got it so good, and you're tempted to throw it all away. Go ahead! Maybe you won't know what you had, until it's gone. Everyone needs to learn in their own way.

A lot of people dream of marrying young, of having a super-sexy partner...and don't forget to mention a SAFE partner...to be young and then grow old with. No AIDS, diseases...

I'd suggest getting some Kama Sutra books, or the "Art of Sexual Ecstasy," and getting into what real sex is about...not the quick squirt, but full, wonderful ecstasy!

You can't have that with a one-night stand. You can't have that with an affair. You can, however, have that in a committed marriage, where sex is more than just physical.

Also, if your money situation is going well, but you are overstressed at work, maybe you can look into ways that you can create more time for yourself. Maybe look into smarter ways of earning money/managing your time.

How's your emotional/spiritual realm doing?

Sharing this post with your wife does sound like an excellent idea.

Peace, love, and healthy bumpin'
...D--