I have been divorced since 10/03. Seperated since 2/03. I have felt I have given myself the time to grieve and spent my time of seperation alone getting my life together and concentraiting on growing spiritually and healing. Since 1/04 I have dated 3 different women and had a online thing for 2 months at a christian singles sight.(did'nt work out due to distance. Go figure!) I have been out of the dating scene for sometime. My marriage lasted 20 years. I was nervous about dating and meeting a "mate". I have a very close freind who told me "when you meet THE RIGHT person you'll just know". I met a wonderful woman in 10/04 and we have been dating ever since. She is so awesome and everything I could have hoped for. We have truly fallen in love. I am so scared of the word "marriage" after what has happened in my last one but that would not be fair to compare and I would not even think of it. I truly have consider marriage to her. We hate being away from each other when I leave to go home at night or don't get to see each other that day. I definatly do not want to rush anything. I have always been told to give a relationship at least one year before marriage. I have thoughts of buying a ring and setting a date for later on this year or just leaving a date open for later on in the year. Would this be kosher or am I jumping ahead too much? We have talked of marriage and that has been it. Just talk. I feel when you date, you must date with marriage in mind.(you can't just date forever) Her children adore me and I them. My children are cool with Her also. I definatly DO NOT WANT TO RUSH!! Any suggestions?

Seems like you have a pretty good grasp on where you're at, but it also seems like most of these questions can be answered in discussion with your potential W-to-be.

A good time to practice good communication skills, and really figure out what each other wants.

But I think your pacing sounds pretty reasonable.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I definatly DO NOT WANT TO RUSH!! Any suggestions? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you do not want to rush, then don't. If you begin to feel pressure from her, to get married, ask why. There is nothing wrong in, continuing to date, is there?. It has only been 5 months, right? So, what is the rush?

If you say you are truely in love, then regardless if you're married or not, that love, will never die, it will only grow, yes? Besides, if you do start to have some problems, you will be able to see if the two of you can work through them, before marriage, not after, when you may find, you can't.

You said, "you have always been told." I say, don't always listen to what you've been told. Go with your gut feeling in how you feel about it, not what others say.

Honestly, my suggestion. Give it more time, way more time.