I knew THAT would get your attention!!<P>Problem is, it's true. <P>While I've been taking my break, having my breakdown and generally trying to pull myself together, the ride has gotten crazier and crazier.<P>H went from talking about coming home, to never wanting to speak to me, to holding me and saying he had to get a divorce, no matter what he really wanted - all in six days. <P>Also during those six days, he waved at his dad parked by his car at work to see him and then drove away without speaking. Told him he didn't know what he was there for and forgot he should talk to him!! <P>Oh, yeah, the attack. Now, to my knowledge in the 15 years that I have known this man, he has NEVER raised a hand to any female, dog, child - you get the drift, in fact, thought it was the worst offense in the world. However, as I understand it, PT has been a bit, uh, physical with him on several occasions.<P>PT told mil, H confirmed, that she got angry about my sending letters to him. Flew off the handle one night and grabbed the keys. "I'll put a stop to this, I'm gonna go over there and see the b****!!" H told her not to. Argument ensued. Finally, her words "I'm gonna do what I f***** well want to do and that's put a stop to this and there's nothing you can do about it, you sob!"<P>At that point, H flew across the room and grabbed her. When she fought back, he took her down (no hitting - serious restraining). "You let me tell you something, you little b*****. Don't you go near my wife. Don't you talk to her, don't you touch her. Don't you even TALK about her. If I ever find out you've done ANYTHING to hurt her, you'll regret it forever." He must have looked serious, PT relented.<P>When she told mil this story (this weekend - can you bELIEVE she told his mom??) she told PT. "H's never in his life been violent." "Well, he's violent a lot now." It's because he's miserable, why don't you send him home?" "He'd better stay with me until the first of the year. And then, he'll never be able to go home again."<P>MIL is a wreck. H is a wreck. I feel like I'm spying on a bad movie. This cannot be my life. This cannot be his life. Can't imagine what's going on now. Told him mom he loves me. He can't ever come home. No matter how much he wants to. <P>I am NOT very fond of PT!!!<P>So, guys, there's your update. Part of it anyway. What a ride!<P>Lori

Oh Lori,<P>what a ride. what a hoot that he did that. Maybe now he's seeing her true colors, and seeing her for what she is.<BR>I get a feeling of joy (if that is the right word) that your H stood up for you like that. What a wonderful thing to do. He took a stand, for you, against her. Yippee. One small step...<P>I feel for your MIL - what a cow to tell his mother that. <P>Hang in there girl - I've got a good feeling.<P>Jo

lostva -- Good God!!! This is like some surreal movie. H really still has strong feelings for you, unfortunately, they're buried under the surface of the fantasy.<P>Seems like PT may be bringing them back to the surface where they belong, at least I hope so.<P>I can't imagine even wanting to be with a person like her. What a loony-bin!!!

Hi, Jo. Good to hear from you again. Do you BELIEVE this nonsense? H told MIL he doesn't love PT, has made her no promises. But, now we're back to money again. Seems as if he's applied for YET another loan. After borrowing lots from FIL. <P>I hope your "good" feelings are accurate. Maybe I should go get a reading too!!!<P>Tempting, I must say.<P>Hope you're doing well.<P>Lori<P>Heartpain - I cannot imagine. Not my H. I just sit around and shake my head in awe. MIL was crying today. Says she can't stand seeing him so miserable - all the time. They were over this weekend, cussing and yelling at each other constantly. She orders him about and he yells back. What a zoo!!! MIL finally asked them to leave yesterday. Amazing. To know my husband - or how he WAS anyway!! Thanks for listening.<P>Lori

Lostva,<P>It's hard to see anything good in violence, however the fact that he's defending you is a good sign in my view also. My beautiful W is finally getting to be more miserable than me. I guess I'm not miserable, just in alot of pain. See my post of this title for more details. One thing I know about myself is when the misery gets great enough I finally change my behavior. I hope and pray you H is the same.<P>Best Wishes to you, Hang in,<P>Bill

Hi Lostva.<P>I've been following your posts even though I've never responded. I have to say, I laughed my head off when I read the thread on Pop Tarts and Bacon for dinner. It still gives me a good chuckle.<P>I agree with everyone here, it's a very good sign that he's defending you. When a person is hooked up with a nut case, it rubs off. Before my H and I got married, after we dated (we were together, then apart for 3 years, then got married), he lived with a similar nut case. He found himself acting totally opposite of how he really is. Screaming and yelling, and she would hit him, and he'd hit her back. And that is not in his nature at all! So, nuttiness is communicable.<P>What can you do to reassure your husband that he most certainly CAN come back?

Yes, very good sign that he defended you!! <P>My only question: when he took her down, did fruit filling come out??<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

WilliamJ. Thanks for your thoughts. I'm with you. The wierd thing is, now it's almost as if I'm standing aside, watching this whole drama. We all change an awful lot through this, don't we. My thoughts are with you.<P>Marlo - I STILL pull up that thread when I need a laugh!! I printed it out just in case!! MIL said sorta the same thing you did. H may have wanted to help her find a better life initially, but the good apple rarely turns the rotten one good again - it works the other way around. We still have a bit of mystery here. I guess it'll all come out in the wash!! I'll just keep trying to be wonderful, understanding and forgiving (ok we won't talk about my one biggie!!). Thanks.<P>NB - How're you doing??? Still confused?? Sorry, I like company!!! <P>Tee hee - I'd like to see SOMETHING come out. This whole thing has brought out emotions in me I didn't know I was capable of!! Thanks for checking in. <P>Lori

Gosh lva, I have to admit that I laughed for a sec, but then the violence hit me like a brick. Yikes, where does that leave you in the future? Abuse is abuse. Need to watch that.<BR>Not to sound like a downer here, this is like something out of a movie script! And I love hearing your h stood right in there for you. He is protecting you from the tart? He should protect his mother too, and keep this wierd woman away. What if she should find that mil is telling you these things? Would she attack mil? The violent psycho ow......stay safe lva.

Lori,<P>Just one question. What is supposed to happen or not happen at the first of the year that would make it impossible for your H to return to you? Is PT connected to the mafia or something, or does she believe the 1st of the year is the end of us all? Just wondering.<P>And by the way, do you suppose PT serves fruit roll-ups for breakfast?<P>Beth

Hi Lostva -<P>My, my this situation just has a life of it's own.......doesn't it!!!<P>I haven't caught up with anything yet - so I might have missed a happening or two with you.....<P>Are you OK? Before this - I mean? Lift those spirits woman and get that house ready for Christmas!!! Santa may bring you a surprise!!! Could happen.....<P>Let me tell you what I pictured as I read this story.....<P>The wicked witch in training casts a spell upon the handsome prince and drags him away from Snow White (that's you!) and they're beautiful daughter (that's D!) to the dark, slimy cave she has been banished by the townsfolk to. <P>She has him bewitched and sustains his life with Pop Tarts and Bacon. Her spell depends on his bordering malnutrition, you see, and therefore she can not risk even a hint of the four food groups to be in his diet!!!<P>She is a stupid witch wannabe in that she didn't think that the power of love from Snow White would have the strength to overcome any hex she may produce!! She also didn't count on The Handsome Prince's Mom....Queen Get To The Bottom Of This Nonsense and her Husband King You Bet We Will adding the power of their love to Snow White's and teaming to break this evil spell and expose the useless witchette for what she truly is!<P>The love that is reaching the Prince through the written messages from his Beloved Snow White carry the antitoxin needed to dilute the potion caked to his artery walls due to the grease and jelly buildup from her culinary skills!! <P>The spell is waning...the Prince is getting glimpses of her true ugliness through the fog of the hex!! She is confused - does not know why her spell is not working to it's full force....<P>Then it hits her....Snow White's messages are more powerful than her pathetic concoction!! She flies into a rage and her face twists into unspeakable hideousness!!! The Prince is horrified by the shrilly screeching apparition before him.......<P>She threatens Snow White and is hellbent on revenge and grabs an apple pop tart (You really don't think she has REAL apples around do you!!) coats it with the bacon grease from last night's dinner and heads for the cave opening spitting venom as she goes....<P>The Prince - with visions of his lovely Snow White and their beautiful Daughter in his head - shakes his head to clear the fog long enough to jump on the toad beast and wrestle her to the dirty floor of the cave....He, in his momentary lucidness, vows to pluck out her eyes if she goes near his fair maiden!!!<P>The witch wannabe backs down to his strength and admits defeat at this moment.....the Prince, once his heated blood cools, is left with some residue still caked to his arteries - much less than before - but still enough to return some fog to his weary brain.....<P>The Queen and King have the power of sight into the mayhem.....their words carry through the fog to reach the tip of their Son's brain.. he is emerging ever so slowly, from the spell....<P>The task at hand is to discover the missing ingredient to her spell/potion.<P>What is it that is the force that brings this spell together to keep him under it? That is what is needed to reverse it!!!! <P>Onward......we must find that missing piece to this puzzle !!!!<P>When it is solved, the evil stupid witch wannabee will be vanquished and will harm no more!!!!!<P>------------<P>Well, what do you think? We have to find the answer to the mystery.....<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

An excellent piece of literary work Sheba.<BR>I think we can all relate to it. I needed a laugh thanks.<P>Bill

Beautiful story Sheba!!!! Nice to have you back.<BR>Have you been at the Timothy Leary site too? (teasing) Fruit rollups for dessert at that house? Cocoa pebbles for breakfast. The milk is good for you.<BR>

Lori--<P>When did this incident occur? I'm trying to piece this together with H telling you to send letters to him directly--the letters were upsetting MIL. <P>Laura<BR>

Hey Lori, Maybe when this is all over for you, we should sit down together and write a book. Could our stories be any crazier? <BR>Good sign that he defended you. You need to find out what is going on with him. Why can't he come back after the first of the year. Something really strange is going on.<BR>Keep me informed.<P>Love,<BR>Jill

Hi, cl. I know what you mean. To tell you the truth, I cannot, in my wildest thoughts, imagine my H hitting or even HOLDING anyone down. I mean, he's big enough, and strong enough, but TOO male, if you know what I mean. But then, this is not MY h, is it? Mom says that she's over it. As soon as the holidays are over, she's gonna be gone every sat and sun for the rest of her life until PT goes away. I only gave 1/10th of what went on at Mom's this weekend. Her words "I'm 70 years old, too old to deal with my kids acting like idiots any more, much less their low-life acquaintances!" I think she may attack Mom. A few weeks ago, Mom started to talk about me and D to H, he SCREAMED at her - for the first time in his life. Don't EVER mention Lori where she might hear again. Mom thinks he was worried that PT would strike out at her. <P>Beth - I don't know. But there's more to this story than we can find out about. Lots more. SIL is still, more than ever, convinced that H never loved PT, didn't leave us for her, is in some kind of trouble that we don't know about but PT does and used her as an excuse to make me mad and get me to give up, needed to protect us from something. I just think we're all nuts!!! None of us, MIL included and she pushed (I had to spend the whole day with that little B**** and didn't find out anything!) cannot figure out why the first of the year has any significance whatsoever. <P>I don't know about the roll-ups. Wouldn't that involve some complicated unwrapping????<P>Sheba - no you haven't missed anything. I haven't posted a lot lately.<P>Working on me now, with the help of some dear MB friends!! Still have a ways to go though.<P>I do love your imagination. My head stopped spinning just long enough to laugh!<P>Don't know what the piece is - know what the remedy is - if I can find the antidote to fear. That's his holdback. Fear of my knowing whatever. Not like I'm mean or anything. I don't even remember ever losing my temper. But shame and embarrassment are weaving their web and the fear is stopping him everytime he gets ready to take that first step. (We can thank BIL for this bit of info. He got the impression that PT is threatening to reveal things to me and family that h doesn't want us to know.) <P>Knowing WHAT it is would help. Just present the facts, tell him it'll BE ok and eliminate the spell. Don't know what it is though.<P>Besides that, I just take pot shots at the right thing to say, hoping I'll get lucky. Got any suggestions? Good to hear from you again.<P>WilliamJ and CL - don't you just LOVe those stories???<P>Hi, Lucks!! Sometime last week. Here's what happened. Remember, a couple of weeks ago he asked me to send stuff to him? Well, I did and she opened everything and got annoyed. I had a couple of important things I didn't want her reading first, so I sent them to MIL's last week. She found out when he got them Wed or Thurs. That's when she threw a fit. Sat, he asked me, once again, to send everything to him, it upset his mom. Mom says that's crap. She likes playing an instigator in all this and Pop likes hand-delivering the letters. Oh, my poor spinning head!!!!<P>Lori

Lori,<BR>I don't have much to say, As you know I've got alot of work to do. I will only add to every one else. He defended you, Your honor so to speak. If he didn't care at all he would not have done that. He still loves you, Remember that. Also remember that he is in La-La land. Some of this stuff you will have to write off to insanity... I guess I should take some of my own advice..... Take care and you know your in my thoughts.........<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Thanks, Rutger - I sent you an e-mail. You take care of you right now. And remember, we're all pulling for you!!!<P>Lori

Lori<BR>I am so glad he came to your defense. This is very weird.Do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a boring life? <BR>Do you still have a PI working on this?<BR>There has got to be something that can make H tell you or MIL what's really going on. The more he keeps it to himself the worse it will seem in his mind.<BR>Maybe I should come visit and be a spy. I have had a lot of practice. <BR>Last night I enlisted a spy of my own. I now have a way to know whenever the bimbo is in town. No more wondering if she is in the area. WOW that's a relief.<P>Sheba!!!! That story even beats the one about my H in Never Never Land with Moronbelle!

Sheba: Nice story! I kept thinking of the succubuses from BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA, feeding on Keanu Reeves' blood to keep him weak; only PT is feeding lostva's H Pop-Tarts and bacon to keep him weak in a sugar funk with hardened arteries. <P>lostva:<P>Curiouser and curiouser. Your H and PT have a truly dysfunctional relationship. I wonder too if he's in some kind of trouble he's protecting you from. What he said to her sounds as if he's being loyal to YOU. Bizarre.<P>