Hi Everyone,<P>Just sitting in my new house, alone but not lonely. Isn't thar strange. I must be growing, I can actualy stand to be in my own skin, and not feel sorry for myself. At times like this I like ti reflect on the events of the past six months. I have learned alot about life on lifes terms. This board has truly been one of the biggest factors of me being able to maintain my sanity. Today was agood day. I was actualy productive a work. Letting go and letting God is no easy task. Since He has removed the fear I had inside thinga have been moving in the right direction. The "fog" is starting to lift from my W's fantacy world. Dr. H. was right again. She called me very depressed this morening, she was crying. I told her I loved her and said come home. I don't know why her pride won't let her. I don't think she is enjoying her time with her dopefiend boyfriend. I got from a good sorce that he smokes an [censored] load of weed then "nods" out on her. So much for placeing deposits in her love bank. I've been plan-aing so far it's worked. I have only called her once since friday, that was to night. Abbey needs diapers for day care. I'll close this post saying I actually feel ok with Bill tonight.<P>Thank you all for your support.<P>I Love You All, God Bless<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<BR>Good to hear your feeling good about yourself. Thats the best thing, whether your marriage can be saved or not. But by improving yourself, and loving yourself, I think you will have a better chance of saving your marriage.<P> Hang in there, its still a bumpy roller coaster ride. It will still have some crazy downs, so savior this moment for your persona; high because the downs come fast and you need to be prepared, then you can remember the highs and know that they are attainable.<P>Best of luck and God Bless!<BR>Bob

Thanks Bob,<P>I am grateful that the fluidity of this situation has slowed donw to a managable crawl. The opening act of this drama was almost too much. Now that things have settled<BR>down I can respond to situations with some sanity. That in itself is a blessing.<P>Bill

Hey WilliamJ<P>I was glad to read that you are feeling better of late. I was worried because even though you have given me words of encouragement you could hear depression in your words. I'm fighting that because a long time ago I was so deep in depression I thought there was no way out, but I here. This was long before I married. Anyway, its<BR>good to read you are hangin in, and are on a higher level right now. Maybe, your W is feeling so quilty right now that she is ashamed to face you. I don't know the whole story, but from what I read hear she is not happy where she is and more than likely very confused. It's hard I know but keep reaching out to her. I'm trying to take my own advice right now. I didn't understand how deep my H feels the quilt until tonight when I tried to give him a back rub because he worked 12hours<BR>today and was physically wore out. I have always done this for him in the past. I offered and he said, "No, that's okay." I insisted but he tensed up. I asked, "Do you feel quilty about me doing this?" He said, "yes, I don't feel I deserve it." I didn't push anymore. I could see his pain. Maybe<BR>that is how W feels. Just a thought.

hi william, you are growing! You post is so nice to read. You are alone and not lonely. It is a great feeling being able to be with just yourself. I am very happy for you.<BR>Plan a is hard, but it does work! Takes so much patience that I am amazed how some can do it. You are worried about your wife, but she will be okay. She has to come around in her own time frame...the pain must be great for her. <BR>She is very lucky to have you! cl

Ditto to that last statement.