Hello again, I ahve a question maybe yall can help with.<P>Now That I realize that my W is mad at me because of the good changes I have made, after the blow up last night.(still dont make much sense though. Why be mad at somthing good.)What do I do now?<P><BR>1: Do I stop calling her and let things cool down, and see if she will come to me?<BR> a: Will she think I dont want to see the kids as much?<BR> b: Will she think the new me has slipped back to the old me?<BR>2. Continue to call and keep contact?<BR> a: should I still help her do things that she needs done?<BR> b: go to her house if she says I can come see the kids?<BR> c: Should I still ask her if they want to go eat dinner.<BR> d: do the things a family does(when she allows it)?<P>These are just a few questions I have. I DONT WANT TO LOVE BUST IN ANY WAY. She is so stubborn there is no telling what she will do.<P>any help will be greatly appreciated.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P><p>[This message has been edited by brownphd (edited November 23, 1999).]

back to the top. Thanks<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

brownphdt,<P>I know your in Plan A still...<BR>That's right for you... and your temprament...<P>You can't control what she wants to do... period.<P>If she wants to see you, she will... if not, she won't... don't agonize over it.<P>You let her know... you still want to see the kids (it's your right)... and <B>not</B> "if you can see them"<P>Don't worry what she thinks... just be the <I>improved</I> you...<P>Continue to make contact... absolutely!... if she doesn't just shut you down.<P>Do the things.. dinner or whatever... <B>you</B> want to do with the kids or family! Yes!<P>Help her if she asks... always good...<P><B>But</B>... you can't be a doormat.<BR>Plan A <B>does not mean</B> be a doormat!<P>Stand up for yourself...<BR>Let her know there are some needs of your own...<BR>You've said Plan B is not for you... OK... then have a strong (but loving) Plan A!... Not just..."when she allows it."<P>Prayers for a little more fortitude! <BR>Have a loving Thanksgiving too... <P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...

Let me ask this. Ever since the money deal. She got very upset with me.<P>It seems that she dont call and say that my son wants me to come over and see them. <P>So this tell me that part of it was her. Correct. <P>As far as my needs she does just little things and I dont think she sees that she is doing that, and its these things that keep me hanging on. for example for the first time in a week she sent me an e-mail. she didnt say anything, just a fw( a story and a it asked to say a prayer for the one who sent it to you) <P>when we were talking and seeing eachother more she sent them every day/.<P>I have not responded to her and dont know if i should.<P><BR>THANK YOU VERY MUCH<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

brownphdt,<P>Again... in Plan A just try and satify her needs... If she doesn't satisfy yours... you have to justify that.<P>The kids are yours right... you see them when <B>you</B> want to see them... not when your son "says"/(mommy says) wants you to see them!<P>Respond to her the way the improved H should... stand up! Build that self-esteem! <P>Jim