As of today I have decided to have a new attitude. It started with a moto and now I've decided to change my user name. When I chose the user name untallnikba I had decided that I didn't want to go with emotions. Emotions change, I am not as sad and hopeless and devasted and crushed and disapointed as I was when I first registered here(even though somedays it seems to all rush back). Besides that there were so many emotions that I was feeling that it would have been difficult to chose the one that would identify me. Untallnikba, was just that, airheart asked me how I came up with it: I am extemely untall(5 foot zero) and nik is the first part of my first name ba is the first part of my last name. Untallnikba was me no matter how I was feeling.<BR>Now for why I decided to change my user name.<BR>As I said at the beginnig of my post patient love is my new moto. I want to try as hard as I can to love my husband where he is at now and to patiently wait for him to come out of withdrawal and start to be the husband I know he can be. My new name is simply a reminder to myself of my resolve to do this. I know it isn't going to be easy but every morning I will remind myself of my resolve and hopefully this will help.<BR>Just wanted to let you guys know that untallnikba hasn't fallen off the edge of the earth she has simply tried to adopt a new attitude.<p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited November 23, 1999).]

Great for you Patient Love. I'm glad to hear you have come to a different level in this rollercoaster ride. Emotions do change and mine change every 5 or 10 minutes. thanks to finding this site I have managed to keep myself clearer in my head than I would have if I had not. I do fall, but when I read posts I get back up again. As I said before,<BR>I too love my husband and am trying to show patient love. I will remember your new motto<BR>and remind myself daily of this. Your an encouragement. Thanks

I hardly feel like an encouragement. I feel like I fall into the self pity mode so often. But I will try and be more of the person that I can be. In one of my former posts somebody said that I can't change my husband but I can change me and my responses to him. I guess that is all I am trying to do.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<BR>

Nicole,<P>It is <B>wonderful</B> that you have decided to approach this from another perpsective. I applaud you for your choice. It makes it a lot more bearable when you approach it from this perspective. I know first hand. I have been doing it for 6 years over which 8 affairs have occurred. She is still in the 8th one (by my count, there may have been more.)<P>As far as the emotional pain, it will come and go like the wind. I pray that you are not being treated poorly. That makes the pain more excruciating particularly when you know that you are doing God's will as far as everything is concerned. If it were not for Him, I would be a basket case. I am able to go on because He reveals a little bit with each new moment which comforts me immensely amidst the great pain. I truly count it all joy because He is getting all the glory, honor, and praise from me. I am nothing without Him. I will always see her as His gift to me.<P>I will keep you in my prayers. MONDO HUG!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

I think this is wonderful. And I love your new name. It says it all.<P>My very best wishes to both of you. I have a very good feeling about this.<P>Lori

As they say in that volkswagen commercial:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Great day in the morning! What was lost now is found!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>--andy<BR>ps -- now if we can only get 2soulmates to change his name!

I second that airheart! Way to go Patient Love, what a statement!<P>------------------<BR>Mater<BR>mater15@ivillage.com<P>

Nicole- I love the new you!<P>You weren't around when I used Liz Smith, but the one reason I used it was I thought of Lizzie Borden ... took an ax and gave her mother etc.etc. My variation was Lizzie Smith took an ax and gave the OW 30 whacks, one for each time she slept with my h.<P>Now that I am his Pearl of Great Price, I think very seldom of committing mayhem...A new name can be a step to a new outlook..See you at the Bible Study forum?<P>Liz, Pearl of Great Price<P>------------------<BR><BR>"I have found the Pearl of Great Price"<BR>

Thank-you for all your words of encouragement. Today was a hard one. He is still on the road and the OW was back at work(she had been on vacation with her husband). I knew my husband was going to call her. He had to work out the details of his next road trip. I also new that it was something he was looking forward to(he told me). I had knots in my stomach most of the day just thinking about it but I just kept reminding myself of my new outlook and somehow I felt a little better. I will probably need alot of help in this as well as a venting place. I hope you guys don't mind if I let off steam once in a while.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<BR>

Just wanted to bring this to the top again so anybody who hasn't been here in the last few days wouold know who I am or at least who I used to be.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<BR>

I can say firsthand that Nicole has been more patient than I deserve. I know that she truly loves me and that feels good. I hope that the times I let her down are overshadowed by the times that I lift her up. Thanks again you guys for being her support.<P>------------------<BR>We stumble and fall sometimes, and that hurts. But it is the most incredible realization when you look and see that it was your spouse that picked you back up......<P>Take care of and Love each other.....Arik<P>