I am so extremely lonely. I have tried everything to get my H attention to no avail.He spends his time on the computer talking to other people,in garage at neighbors or at the bar. while i sit home alone wondering what i've done to deserve being so unhappy.the time we do spend with each other is so void of anything of an intimate nature.i can't believe i would feel any lonelier if i weren't married.

Mare,<BR>As difficult as it may seem right now--you clearly are not getting your emotional needs met--you need to work on filling your H's needs. Read all you can on this site, especially Harley's "Emotional Needs" stuff. I know it's one-sided, but ultimately it usually works. I did it, even after I found out about an affair--I buckled down, stayed positive with my H, and persisted with filling his needs. Eventually, he started to soften, started to give me a bit more of what I needed. Ultimately, it was Retrouvaille that really changed him. I doubt if your husband would fill out an Emotional Needs questionnaire, but maybe you could take a look and see how maybe you could improve. Do not assume, just because Harley suggests that you make changes, that you are the cause of the problems in your marriage. But I found that changing myself was the only way my husband would start to change *himself*--and I am more at peace with the "new me" (more positive, less controlling, less judgmental of everyone/everything). Divorce Busting (www.weiner-davis.com) also has good info--one person can save a marriage; positive mental attitude, etc. Hang in there. Remember to take good care of yourself (eat well, sleep well if you can, exercise, love yourself).

mare, you posted on the poems topic..you may want to post under 'infidelity' or 'emotional needs' ...a lot more people read there.