I have been reading all of the success stories and I am thrilled that so many of you are having this success. However, I am seeing that the betrayers all continued to live at home. Are there any success stories where the betrayer moved in with OP and you are still successful in rebuilding you marriage?<P>PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<BR>

hi mitme, I am not sure the situation my h and the last ow really fits but they did live together.<BR>My h works overseas. The last affair involved one of his co-workers moving into his room while they were in asia. Kind of a different situation than the conventional h moves out with ow or w rents an apt and om moves in. <BR>She was the asst cook for the group, and I think that was part of the allure? He had his own private cook? And I am not the greatest in that area! Believe me, no one starves around here, but cooking is not one of my hobbies-it is a chore to me.<BR>He is back in asia now, same place as he was last yr, same time as the last affair. I have no idea if she is there, but am trusting that h will do the right thing this time. He has changed a lot, grown a lot, so I think it will be okay. We are looking at different career options to end this constant travel. He is usually gone anywhere from 2-4 mos at a time. Not good for the marriage and creates havoc in the trust arena.<p>[This message has been edited by cl (edited November 23, 1999).]

sorry, to tell you so far I have only read about K (he moved out, not sure if W was living with OM). One other RWD, wife broke off with OM (they were living together), but last I checked they are still struggling and heading for a D. Not sure if there are others who lived with OP, and came back to work on marriage much less be successful. You can join our club which includes ChrisCA, Shattered, and myself. As time goes on I am preparing for the worst, working on myself. If I have any advice, it would be to derail the affair as early as you can, but without lovebusting. Pretty hard to do, but do not enable it financially or do not give up kids if you have any.

Thanks for the replies. I am just feeling really down today. For the past couple of days I had been feeling a lot better, but today is the sh*%s. I jsut feel sooooo very helpless. One minute I think I want to keep Plan A'ing, the next I just want to throw in the towel and let it all go. I hate this feeling of not knowing what would be best for my kids and me. <P>Deep in my heart I think he will change his mind, but no way of knowing. My sister thought the same thing until she got the D papers handed to her. So, where does that leave me? I think that part of what I hate the most is that he has ALL of the control, of his life, my life and the lives of the kids. That sucks since he is doing such a crappy job of running them. I don't know how to get control back into my hands. We are all just hanging in limbo while he is with this bimbo. (oops)<P>Oh, well, guess I will just wait and see how the day goes. Maybe I will get some kind of divine inspiration to tell me where to head next.<P><P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<BR>

Hi, Mitme. I'm not a success - yet - but take a look at the posts from Crazy or What? Jill's h moved out completely and in with OW and he's back at home. <P>Also, in today's post, you'll see that Rutger may be giving this a shot as well.<P>Hang in there!!<P>Lori

MM101 - <P>I am one of those individuals that izzy referred to (hi izzy). My W moved out in June and filed in August. Ufortunately, I do not see any hope of her returning much less successfully reconciling. It took me 3-4 months to get over the severe depression of her betrayal and abandonment (with the help of family, friends, this forum, Zoloft and mostly by faith in Almighty God). I have just passed the 5th month of separation...I haven't seen my W in over 3 months.<P>I don't think I'll be checking off the "married" box on my 1999 income tax forms next March. However, that is not to say that every case in which the betrayer moves out is totally lost. There is another guy on the forum named Rutger whose W recently (yesterday) informed him that she would like to come home. Please read his thread.<P>For what it's worth, it does get easier with time. Those horrible images visit you less frequently and you do eventually want to get out again. Take care of yourself during this time...whether your spouse returns or not, it's time well spent. Good luck and God bless you. Happy Thanksgiving.<P>------------------<BR>He who has a "why" to live for can bear with almost any "how".<P>-Nietzsche-