Quick summary of my situation:<BR>H and OW have known each other for 12 years. At the same time she legally separated from H<BR>she started working for my H and started affair. Just discovered it at the end of August (3 months). My husband is a haistylist and I know she will keep on going into the shop to get hair done and keep contact...and...I know they talk on the phone because he admitted it to me during another fight(...about business.....yeah....)<BR>They are both to blame for keeping contact....neither one wanted to end this....but when I found out....she was forced to leave our shop....furthermore...she her mother and sister and a bunch of friends go into the shop to get their hair done...that is why he will always know what she is doing...the contact will go on forever....yet...at home....everything is good...but I don't trust him....therefore...<BR>OW keeps us from being truly together.....evidence shows that he is not spending time with her...although....I know they may found ways to see each other....even for a minute....WHERE THERE IS A WILL, THERE IS A WAY....he is coming home on time from work....his parents are here from Florida therefore he is spending his day off with them....and supposedly OW got a M-F, 9-5 job, so how is she seeing him on his day off ? Lunch times, maybe.....tonight I am suspicious again because he told me he will work late due to being closed on Thanksgiving....the suspicions will never end....she will never truly go away....I love my husband with all my heart, our sex live is the best its ever been, he tells me he loves me.....but is he lying....he always referred to her as his "best friend"....so how can I really believe that its over.....I want to.....but I don't want them to make a fool out of me......I don't want her to say, behind my back "Stupid wife, I got your husband after all".......and I don't want to be hurt again.......I don't want to cry for weeks again........should I just go on like this.........and believe what he tells me.........and let it go ? His birthday is<BR>Saturday.....I know she will be contacting him......It hurts.....

Is it possible for your husband to get a job somewhere else? If the contact bothers you, you wouldn't be out of line asking him to look for another job.

To TimJ<BR>Thanks for the reply and suggestion....but.....it's a small business....it's how we survive and make a living....I know that the answer comes from my husband....if he tells her he is no longer interested and he, himself, stops calling her and is firm about not having her come into the shop then all my problems will be resolved.....otherwise....she will always be part of our life.....she is a cancer that won't go away.......

Oh, Sad, I'm sorry. Somehow, someway, you and your H have to find a way to resolve this for your piece of mind. Otherwise, it will drive you nuts and sabotage all the hard work.<P>What does he say when you tell him how you feel? Can you ask HIM to help come up with a solution that makes you feel better?<P>How has he reacted so far to your concerns?<P>Lori

Thanks all...H has promised me that she will be getting her hair done somewhere else...but I have doubts (no offense to other hairstylists but....once he gives you a haircut no one else can do better)...he has refused to tell her sister and mother to get their hair done somewhere else...he says I am being unreasonable about this request...and I am interfering with the business....so I have to let this one go......dont' know....

"he says I am being unreasonable about this request...and I am interfering with the business"<P>I'm sorry but that struck a moment of empathy for me, for your feelings.<P>Maybe he shoulda thought of that possibility (that it would interfere w/business) before starting the affair.<P>Ooooookay, enough lovebusting from over here in the peanut section!<P>Tell him, in like turn, that if OW's friends/family WILL continue utilizing his services, and he may even see OW occasionally, what CAN he do to assist you in feeling better about a situation of distrust he created?