I run through a corridor, hearing fists banging on the wall.<P>They keep telling me I not good enough for you, so I keep on running, panting, heaving, in pain, I reach a door.<P>I am in my black little box.<P>Its my box, its black and dark, but safe. I feel like the boy I once were, all alone and noone to help me. I cry like a boy, and people laugh.<P>I hear the voices whisper to you, he's not good enough or rich enough for you!<P>To my despair I hear you listen and you thinks its ok, you think its ok to put a nail in my box.<P>WHAM! you go with the hammer, and drive a nail in my box, it hurts so much.<P>I wonder what I did to you to deserve being treated this way.<P>WHAM! another time you go, another nail drives home. Even though it hurts, I see something you fail to notice.<P>WHAM! christ my soul is starting to shear, fall apart at its seams. But, another nail, and I see!<P>More nails you drive in, and more and more it hurts. But for every nail you drive into my black little box, I am able to see more and more!<P>I cry, I yearn, I ask, please drive more nails in, so I can see more!<P>Days and months go by, and the nails keep driving in, but more and more I see and more and more I understand.<P>Its not me thats being hurt by your nails, you are only nailing yourself to be a someone we call names. A someone you always swore you would never be!<P>Moksha, betrayer, old lover. Insipid, blinded, you feel so free hammering the nails into me. But you dont realize, you do not see, that its really yourself, your nailing to the wooden tree.<P>As the hammer falls, you feel so free, after all, you are hammering away at me, the source of all your despair! You got a new lover, and new someone to call special.<P>But I can see, what you cannot, you blame me, for all your faults. <P>I look again, and I see the truth, its not me in the box, never was! <P>I watch in despair, as you in desperate belief that what you are doing is right, nail yourself into a black little box, nail by nail, board by board.<P>At the end I see, lies and more despair for you, for you are forever caught, in a black little box.<P>Try to build a future, something true, I wish that for you, but I know in my heart, that you failed, and I did not. <P>Finally as you drive your last nail in, all the pain is gone, and *I* am free. You are not!<P>You nailed yourself in, into a black little box, I wonder why, but I see you got lost.<P>I will help you, if you want to be free.<P>But never again, will you raise the hammer against ME!<P>/Mik - trying to explain the pain of being utterly betrayed.

I know my first reaction to you is to want to preach to you but it is not what you are looking for<P>You have been cheated and mistreated<P>Remember one thing<P>You are a living healthy victorious person<P>Your life around you right now is not going<BR>to rule you or am I wrong<P>I know you have confidence somewhere inside you<P>Start a new life<P>Start that sport you gave up long time ago<P>And that interest you loved so much as a child<BR>and I don't care if it was kite flying<P>Go and help the local boy scouts<P>Get out of your prison<P>You do not belong there<P>The sun is shining outside and you need to get some of it<P>Go and and enjoy yourself<P>Go to the waterslide<P>Leave all the problems behind<P>Just like the song up up and away in my beautiful baloon<P>Go out and live your life<P>Look at people like my mom in 1997 <P>She was the most active independent person you could ever meet and she ended up on her death bed with cancer<P>Nothing wrong in the brain but could not move her legs even could not get up to go to the toilet<P>I phoned her from a favourite place she loved and told her I was eating fish and would love to bring her some to cheer her up but she could not even chew one pea<P>She was too sick and had to be fed with a tube (liquid)<P>Be grateful for your health<P>Jump and Roll<P>Wake up and Thank God you are you<BR> <A HREF="http://www.prayertoweronline.org" TARGET=_blank>www.prayertoweronline.org</A> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com</A> <A HREF="http://www.allexperts.com" TARGET=_blank>www.allexperts.com</A> <P>Free yourself from your bondage<P>Go out and make yourself a new life<P>Carol your prayer partner<BR>

I believe sanity and all those things come back, how one manages to find the road again, I believe that is different for each one. Health is a fleeting thing, it can vanish without a trace, at a alarming pace!<P>But, I know I will see the light again, I will notice the dew sparkling on the leaves in the morning, did you think it was only dew? I always beleived they be the tears from the laughing elves dancing in the garden when we forgot to look.<P>But for a while, I think I will do like a timberman and yell at a tree who probarly will show me a hole in the ground by the river, where a wise man of valour walks around and around. In his mind he's a beacon in the veil of the night, and he will never, ever again fight over the wrong things.<P>/Mik - hmm.. ok.. so I can never get the endings right.. =))