:Talking to God:

Hey God, it's me
been a while since last we talked
if you're busy I can come back later
but this will only take a second
if you have the time
I just wanted to say
I love you
even though my actions haven't shown it
much lately

See God, I think I'm begining to understand
just how much you love me
it didn't make sense how you could
allow these awful things to happen
but it's becoming clear now
You love me enough to let me
lose everything rather than spend
my life with nothing

I don't like the person I was
You blessed me with success and
although I thanked you on the outside
inside, I thought it was because of my hard work
You blessed me with wisdom
and although I pretended to be humble,
my actions showed I thought I was
better than others
You blessed me with ambition
and although I told people I was going
to do something great for you,
I was only great for me
You blessed me with a wife
whose love could have filled me
for a lifetime
Yet I pushed her away and purused
the love of money

God, I understand now
You didn't cause any of this to happen
My actions and my wife's choices
caused this
But you did allow it, and no matter
how I prayed you didn't fix it

Now I'm changing, God
I'm changing more than I ever dreamed
I could. Life looks so different now
Had none of this happened, I would have
died with my eulogy reading, "He was a smart
man who had a great career".
And that makes me sad.
Perhaps now, because of the road you've
allowed me to travel
It will read, "He was the most amazing husband
and father the world has ever known."
That's something I can be proud of.

So thanks God
Thanks for loving me enough to let
me die so that I could truly
live
I don't know what's going
to happen in my life anymore and I
must admit
I'm really scared.
But I trust you. And I believe that you
are in control of things even when they
seem so out of control.
Well, that's all I've got
I'll be coming by more often now
so hopefully we can become best friends
again.

Oh and God, if I can make a request...
If you ever think I've grown enough,
I would love a second chance with my
wife. I miss her an awful lot and I'm
really sorry for the things I did. I
realize you know
so much more than I ever
will. But God, if you ever feel like
granting someone just one wish....
That would be mine.
Thanks for listening. I'm starting
to feel better already.
I love you very much.
jay.

Wow!

Beautiful! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Roman....WOW...this one really hit home. I hope you don't mind but I posted it on the divorcing/divorced part. I loved it so much I wanted to share it with others. Your work always brings a smile to my face. I e-mailed it to my wife I liked it so much.

Love in Christ
cajunky

Thanks freshstart and cajunky. I'm glad you liked it. I wrote it because I feel like God is showing me things from a totally different perspective now, and it's actually starting to make sense. I still have a lot of growing to do, but I'm so glad I'm not the person I was anymore.

No cajunky, I don't mind that you posted it elsewhere. Not a problem at all =) Hope things are going well for you now.

Jay,

You are SOOOOOOO talented! This brought tears to my eyes. I hope your wife realizes how much you're changing. Have you shown her this?

Thanks 2002. Yes, I usually email her the things I write. I just know that she has bad memories from 3 years of me working on my career and ignoring her. I don't know if she'll ever break down her walls towards me. It's in Gods hands, I know, but it's still tough sometimes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />