I gained a lot of weight in my marraige b/c I used food and alcohal to medicate myself when I got lonely or sad. My weight is a major cause for depression for me..it's getting better. And I know that this may not be the reason behind the failure in my marriage, but it's one of the many things I blame when I feel all sad and confused like right now.
poetry is new to me...I aspire to write them like 'roman' someday <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Saw a picture of myself today from Christmas just last year
Our last Christmas together wasn’t filled with much cheer
I didn’t know how bad I’d let myself go
But when I saw that picture, some things became clear
And I just wanted you to know

I understand love

You treated me with naught but dishonesty
But I understand, love

I grew sad and lonely because I thought I was your only
But that’s okay, love

Night after night I’d ask myself why
I’d beg and I’d ask you, but you’d only lie
I’d dig and search and I’d pry
Nothing more I could do, but lay there and cry
And cry
And cry

But it’s alright, love

Friends went away as you went astray
Because I refused to give up on you
With no one to turn to, and so sad without you
I let myself go to fall into the blues
I turned my anger on me so I wouldn’t have to see
How much of our love we had lost
Now trapped in my shell to protect me from your hell
See what my sadness has cost

So I understand, love

I’m no longer beautiful to you
And I understand love
How you needed to find someone new
Yes, I understand love
Not that I like me this way
But now I understand love
Why you kept going astray