After an intense game of phone tag
which was eventually won
by her
We settled into a drawn out conversation
spanning 45 minutes of my 10 o'clock
hour
Each minute of our little chat I expected
to hear the traditional,"ok, it was good talking to you"
cliche
Which would signal me to her disinterest
in our trivial talk of life and all that
implies
But as one minute turned into five, into ten,
into 20, and well into 30 I realized that
perhaps
this woman who has kept my heart steadidly
turning at over 5000 RPM's, might actually want
to talk to me
After ending the call and placing the
phone back on my nightstand I rolled over
in bed
and attempted to replay our diatribe which now
seemed nothing more than a blur of short stories
followed by laughter
my personality has always held a a ritualistic grudge
against "going with the flow" so my mind instinctivly
shifted to
wondering what my next step should be in this pursuit
of a woman who is truly nothing short of
breathtaking
never having the sauve "player" mentality so often potrayed
in movies, I'm overwhelmed with the sense that each
uncalculated step
could instantly move me from the "possible" category
to the one labled "good friend"
wow
I'm really thinking too deeply about something
that should come so naturally and I can't help
but wonder
If I'm turning a bed of roses into a mine field
by overanalyzing each section of dialog in proper
Freudian fashion
yet my insecurities are so amplified by the brightly
colored sign of "DIVORCED" strung timidly around my neck
that even
something so simple as a phone call now requires
30 minutes of reflection followed by a play-by-play
description
to close friends who vicariously offer "romantic advice"
which I gladly accept given my lack of aptitude in
this arena
So enough. I'm done. No more stressing. No more thinking.
Just be myself and if it's God's will, it will happen
right?....right?
Or maybe not. Maybe my penance for the role I played in
my divorce is getting to see just how amazing this women
is
without having chance to even date her
and on that note I realize I have officially
used up
and explored every bit of imaginative, logical and
statistical analysis this situation has to
offer
Guess I better get to sleep. Tomorrow's another
big day

Jay (I gathered the fact that this is your name from your other post) -

Enjoyed reading your words. Interesting to read other people's thoughts and be able to relate in some way, even if not exactly, what they are going through.

Thanks for sharing this. I have to admit you got me caught up in the drama, so to speak, and hoping it works out for you. We all need happy endings and well, seems like you might be on to one here.

Fun, fun.

You mentioned, in response to someone's comment in your other post, that you felt like you had the 'equivalent to leprosy' compaired to this woman because you are divorced. Just want to encourage you that:

1. From what I understand you did not 'want' your marriage to end and
2. Jesus always seemed to choose to hang out with the people who had 'trouble/problems/ or sin' in their lives (I have to remind myself almost daily of this - it gives ME hope)

I bet you 500 bucks this lady you know, knows God well enough not to think twice about you being divorced.

We all anxiously await the next installment.....

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
dawnn

Hello Dawnn =)

Thanks for the encouragement! I've enjoyed reading your work here as well (I especially liked "From Tonight").

I have no idea how this whole situation is going to play out, but it is nice to find someone I'm actually interested in. I've met sooooo many women since being divorced and yet this is the first one I *really* like. Right now I don't know if she just sees me as an old friend or a possible future date, but I guess I'll eventually find out.

Anyways, I truly do appreciate the encouragement. I have to remind myself sometimes that if this woman is who God wants me to be with, my past will not be an issue for her. Guess we'll see <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />