Once upon a time, there was an exotic bird locked up in his cage at the pet store. He has beautiful feathers but he doesn't want to ruffle it. He has a beautiful voice but he didn't want to sing. He just sat there lonely and waiting for something good to happen in his life. A gentle lady walked in the store one day and saw the bird. She thought that perhaps if she takes such good care of this bird, it will be able to sing for her and bring her joy. She bought the bird and took it home. The bird was excited to be in a new environment. He flew around, made a mess and did just what he felt like doing. The lady asked him to sing quite a few times but the bird just ignored her and went his merry way. The lady patiently took care of this bird, she nurtured him, fed him and cleaned after him. She thought that perhaps in time, he will eventually start singing and that would make her so happy. 6 years had gone by and the bird never did sing. The lady was growing hopeless and weary. It finally dawned on her the possibility that maybe the bird never did have what it takes to sing or...maybe the bird needs to be freed to find another bird alike before he can sing. So she told the bird, he is free to go now and find a place where he feels he belongs and find other birds his kind. The bird was adamant about leaving . He was comfortable in her home, he felt good that someone loves him. He promised her that he would try to sing if only she will keep him there. But the lady knew better. She wants him to sing straight from the heart and she knows this will not be the case. She opened the window and away flew the bird.

~ sometimes we tend to fall in-love with one's potential more than for who they really are. We lead ourselves to believe that it will work out great once that potential is achieved. We get so blinded by it that we don't even consider the possibility of it not coming into terms. Then slowly but surely, we realize that we only set up ourselves for disappointment as those expectations fail to materialize. The lesson is painful but sometimes that is what it takes to learn.~
Sann

SS, I think sometimes, that you must be my therapist!!!

That is exactly why I loved my wife. I saw in her a wonderful woman with so much potential if only she would try. I spent five years trying to realize that ptoential and when it never came instead of opening the door like the woman and her bird, I married her. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

To this day, I still feel like she is a wonderful woman but that she is misguided by her feelings. My therapist asked me why I married someone that I wanted to change? My answer, 'cause I was in love. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Anyway, keep writing as I am always reading. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You are right, that last one you wrote was pretty dark, are you ok? I have one I have been working on but I am still not happy with it yet. Glad you still have internet at work!!!

STTSI

I was in a real slump last week but things are starting to get better. I think the anti D is kicking in.yahoo! My H finally agreed to a separation. I gave him till end of March to find a place. I would like to keep it on an amicable level. With much thoughts and prayers, I'm starting to see more clearly now. My H has this inability to feel certain emotions therefore causing either no reaction or his behavior deviating from the norm. He then turns into drinking as an escape. I think the bottom line is he does not even like himself. Perhaps he thought that by marrying me, I will help define him to an extent.He feels that people cannot relate to him and this is true but...he does not see that he himself cannot relate to others. Hmmm..am I making sense here? Well, whether he is this way because of his upbringing or genetics, the question is if this is the person I'd like to spend the rest of my life with? If I do, I will be self-imposing a life sentence of living with someone who will never know how to appreciate me.Worse, I will only be enabling him. Will keep you posted. How are things with you?