(The reference to me as a girlfriend in the first few verses refers to my very first serious boyfriend. I discovered he was married when his wife phoned me up one morning to tell me! I broke off with him that same hour)
JUST ANOTHER LOST AND LONELY WIFE
First I was the girlfriend who endured the lies and tales
And all the rubbish thrown at her so he could get his way
I was gorgeous, I was beautiful, desirable, he said
So he wined and dined and courted me to get me to his bed.
Naively I believed him when he said he'd never known
A woman quite so special who he must have for his own
I trusted him, put faith in him, and made all kinds of plans
I'd get the train next Saturday right down to Birmingham.
But dreams are made of stardust and they only lead to pain
I kissed goodbye to Joe next day and never saw that man again.
My first romance had led me into sad and bitter strife -
For surprise, surprise - a man who lies! - he had, of course, a wife.
Just seventeen weeks later, I met another man
Of completely different mettle, one to whom I'd give my hand.
We had three years of courtship - they were special days of bliss
And I thought myself so lucky to have met a man like this.
We had a happy marriage - or so it seemed to me,
With a blend of trust and confidence and total honesty.
We offered to each other all the love that we could give
And I knew we'd be together all the days we'd yet to live.
But then one day four years ago, things started to go sour
I got a terrible disease, and things changed from that hour;
I lost the looks and body which my husband so admired
And although he didn't tell me, I ceased to be desired.
A lot of it was my fault, for my fear became too much
And I locked myself into myself, and didn't give enough;
Yet nothing could destroy the love I'd have for ever more
For my dear and precious husband, who I always would adore.
But things with him were different - for he was of course a man
And sex was so important, he refused to understand
And all the tender love in which I'd put such faith and trust
Became of little import now I'd turned off all his lust.
Desire for me was over, so he thought he had a right
To give me up for someone who could give him better nights;
So the promises we'd taken and the vows that we had made
Could be thrown out of the window and his dull wife be betrayed.
I went through weeks of anguish as he wove a web of lies
For he'd found himself a girlfriend - a really special prize.
And nineteen years meant nothing, for he'd found his heart's desire -
A hot and sexy rock chick who could set his heart on fire.
But although she outsurpasses me in every single way -
Her looks, her health, her body; her lifestyle and her age;
I have one redeeming feature that will last me to the end -
I happen to be my Steve's WIFE - she's only his best 'friend'.
So regardless of his feelings, or the things that he has done
There's nothing can destroy us, for this man and I are one.
He promised he would love me, and I gave to him my hand
And that is the foundation on which we'll always stand.
* * *
The pain that I am going through just cannot be described
Let down, betrayed and cheated on, rejected and despised;
I know now what Joe's wife had felt when phoning me she screamed,
'Just take him, I don't want him - but he isn't what he seems'.
There's nothing I can do now but stand by and wait in pain
To see if this will finish and he'll come to me again;
For despite all of the anguish that this man has put me through
I'll stick to him for ever, for my love is deep and true.
Written one Monday night, in great turmoil, just four days after finding out my
husband was having an affair
September 2002
