Love is all illusion


I should know by now not to trust that illusion of love,
I should know that the feeling is merely a fleeting dove,
Opening up and saying what I think because I feel safe and respected,
Another desperate mistake because I’m always rebuked and rejected.

Suddenly in that moment of struggle the love disappears,
Her disappointment another wound through my heart sears,
Why oh why are we locked in orbits destined never to meet,
Why oh why does bitter icy coldness always follow the heat.

Then the loving feelings flee and burn,
How long must my stomach churn,
What is it we must do or learn,
How long can my heart be cold and yet yearn,
Can I be forever serious and stern,
How long can she my spirit crush and spurn.

I cannot accept that feelings of joy can last,
It is only too apparent from the past,
For where joy leads then pain is not far behind,
This is a fact of life to which I am resigned.

‘But its not so bad’ they say – not really not now,
‘I wish it were not so’ I say – it must change but how,
I carry on day upon day running out of time and life,
Trying in vain to find meaning in this struggle and strife.

Maybe in life there is no intrinsic meaning,
Nothing but man’s pompous inventive leaning,
That men may have purpose and continue after they die,
What a desperately sad narcissistic self deluding lie.

Yet spiritual realities exist all around if we are prepared to focus,
You will see that we merely float in and out of some unseen locus,
Travelling up and down the warm dark tunnels with wind rushing,
Appearing here and being there and flying around like water gushing.

The weight, the weight, that desperate weight is some days too much to bear,
At those times we are utterly overcome and cannot afford to care,
Yet find that we are caught inexorably in some fearful snare,
Picking up our trampled cares causes much anguish and despair.

So let us pretend that everything is great,
That there is nothing at all which we hate,
Be nice, be kind, pretend to enjoy and never be sad,
Be good, be polite, pretend to love and never get mad.

Rainbow