Can anyone help me on this matter....
I have been married for 5 years and together we have 2 children.. My oldest son (previous relationship) Believes he is his daddy as well...
The basic layout is that he lives in germany and i live here in the U.S...We met 5 years ago on the internet and built a relationship and got married...we lived together for 5 months before but i moved back to the U.S... Now he always told me he hated going anywhere with his friends and stuff because of two reasons 1} he prefered to talk to me at night and 2} he didn't like being the only single person there... Well recently we argue about the fact that he ignors me and when i call him i get treated like i am a burden..Well recently he told he that he does not love me anymore..That the love he once had had died and he only likes me alot not... I want to save this marriage but he acts like a child and keeps telling me that he needs time to think about things...He wants to come over in july...He also said he wanted to try and get the love back..But i cannot see how ignoring me more now and stuff is going to help...I just need help... I know this is a rambling post but i am trying to get this out and see if someone can help save my marriage....
Thank You for your time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Dear lady,

You should post this on the Emotional Needs board or on the General Questions board.

Someone there will certainly have some insight.


God Bless
A

I can't quite grasp what has caused this situation between you and your husband. I understand that you left him and came back to the US (for what reason)? I understand he said his love for you has died. A lot must have transpired. Probably too much to post.
When marriage is entered into for a selfish motive and that motive is not fulfilled it can cause two people to separate and believe that they don't love each other anymore.
A man will marry for the want of sex. Women marry for the want of security. The best way for a woman to get security from the man is for her to "submit" to his will. Too many women today want their own way. This is what destroys relationships. There cannot be two heads in a marriage. Just one head for one body. Two heads cause the body to want to split apart. The husband must be the head as Christ is the head of the church. You left and came back to the US. You caused a split in the union. Yet you say you want to save the relationship. He says he doesn't love you anymore. But he wants to save the relationship. It is time for both of you to sit down and discuss what you really want. Do you want this man to be your head? If you do, then submit to him for now and always. Marriage is not "Happily ever after." There are happy moments but many trials that you must work through. As for him. Love is a choice not a feeling. He is still capable of choosing to love you. What made him think he fell out of love with you? Isolate this, go over it with him, and decide if he is mature enough to go all the way with you. God said that, "The man shall rule over the woman." When a woman tries to run the marriage, lay down ultimatums, or challenge the mans rule it can and does have dire consequences to the relationship. Women think they are justified in their actions and will quickly lay down a line of "he did this and that so he is not worthy to rule." It doesn't work that way.
Has he fulfilled his marriage vows? Have you fulfilled yours? If not, are both of you willing to repent and start over and live according to God's plan? If the vows are broken you have two alternatives. Go your own separate ways ... or make new vows and go on from here.

When marriage is entered into for a selfish motive
A marriage is ALWAYS entered into with a selfish motive. To be happy.

If you were not going to be the primary benefactor of the marriage, you would not do it.

<small>[ March 10, 2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Chris -CA123 ]</small>