Heaving, heavy and soulless,
Empty, beyond words or emotion,
Grasping for anything, clawing at the air,
Falling back, nothing to show for the effort.

I wish I knew the way out of this place,
If I could escape I would,
Not enough courage to end it all,
Not enough strength to go on.

Lighting strikes at me here and there,
Wakes me up inside for a moment,
Then, just as fast, it is gone again,
Was it really ever there at all?

Trapped by my flesh, my weakness, my rage,
Another day passes me by,
My only wish is to avoid the pain,
That keeps welling up from inside.

Nowhere to turn, my last hope is Him,
He’s brought me through things before,
My last hope, last chance, last option left,
For me, here, there’s nothing more…..


This was written a few days after my wife asked for a divorce, then went to stay at a hotel near the home of the OM. She had yet to admit the EA, and boy was I in agony...

TM