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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 32
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 32 |
I was too blind with love to see
that you fell out of love with me
To blind to realise to late
the lies you fed me were just bait
To blind to let me see the truth
I was too old, you wanted youth
To blind to even comprehend
the beginning of the end
I was to blind with love for you
to even spot the slightest clue
I now can finnally see clear
you didn't even shed a tear
I see the love I gave and yearned
was wasted here and not returned
I see now what you feel for me
and don't know why you stayed with me
It can't be love and/or affection
as your words say, but not your action
I miss the way it's used to be,
but at least I now can see.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 79
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 79 |
obi...
cudos! this one is so true... blinded by love... we all know it too well... i can finaly see clear... ahh, yes... clarity... when i achived clarity... i was no longer blind either... it was a hard road to travel, but well worth it in the end...
do you write off the cuff??? or do you have your work journaled??
samm
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 32
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 32 |
Nope, all written off the cuff! I am going through so many emotions right now and this seems to be the only way to vent them. He's away and we can't talk at the moment and I need to let it out. I am scared about the road ahead, but I found so much understanding, support and hope in this forum that I know I am not alone! Thank you all!
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 79
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Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 79 |
off the cuff... very impressed... the emtional purging of energy... venting... is very important... this forum is a very cool place... i only wish i had found it sooner... i have learned so much here... we are not even close to being alone...
i remember when i was scared about the road ahead... the worst fear was when i was homeless after, we sold our house, and i was living in my pickup truck, WW was living w/OM... i used to go to the coast and sit at the edge of the ocean... that would bring calm over me... it was the only thing that worked... I slept there as much as i could...
everything will work out... i have been a student of zen for years and that has helped me greatly... zen truth: what is, is. what is not, is not. no amount of wishing or wanting can change that simple fact...
waiting for the next piece...
samm
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 32
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 32 |
You have been through an awful time! But you should be proud of yourself. I love the ocean too! I know the calm feeling the ocean can provide you with. It's like an inner peace just rushing in with every wave that comes ashore! I wish I had a coast nearby! I love the Zen truth you quoted - it is soooo true. I heard about Zen before, but to be quite honest didn't know much at all about it.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 79
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 79 |
yea... the ocean... saved my life more than once... i still go to that spot on weekends, even though it is very cold here now next to the atlantic... i couldn't live too far away from the ocean... i would be very sad if i did... we have all been through a lot... i am actually writting a book through all of this called 'a series of doors'... my story starts many years ago and is fairly tragic and sad... this is my second marriage... and i am only 3 years younger than you... but that is for another time...
zen: pure logic... that is how i refer to it... chineese philosphy...
zen destiny: look for it, and you will find it. don't look for it, and you will still find it. that which is yours will surely come to you.
i have been living by three zen proverbs:
the present-truth-(is)-destiny.
works for me...
be well
samm
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