I feel bad. I seem to always be asking for help. <P>I and we (H & I) were doing pretty well. For some reason in the last week I have been so sad and crying tons. Crying around him and making him feel bad. I can't help it the tears just flow.<P>He is still in love with this OW even though he says he loves me now and feels or thinks he is falling in love with me too. Still he feels deeply for her. If I wasn't around he would be with her. He says he doesn't know how to get the feelings back for me and that I seem to love him much more than he loves me. He wishes he did. I need much prayer that he will loose this love he feels for this OW. That God restores the love he has for me. He says he is staying with me for life. I don't know how much longer I can handle this knowing he loves her more than me. <P>I want my husband back. We are making progress but I seem to have fallen backwards. I don't know if it is battle fatigue or what. I am overwhelmingly sad. I want to cancel Christmas. I can't even get it together to do anything. <P>I used to be so depressed that I spent anytime I didn't have to do anything in bed. I was in a deep abyss. I am so afraid that is going to happen again.<P>I started smoking again after 7 months of no smoking. Stupid and I am really addicted again after only a couple of weeks. I feel unhealthy and sick again. Getting bronchitis I can feel it. The flu. <P>I don't feel close to God. I feel a huge distance. I don't know how to let go and let God. This is the worse part. I feel that somehow I am doing wrong to God. I can't put it into words. I just feel a void. I know it isn't him so it must be me.<P>Please lift me up in prayer. I don't seem to be able to pray much or correctly. I try but I don't feel the connection. <P>I am just so tired. I need strength. I need to...I don't know any more but I am sure some of you understand. <P>I am so sorry that I need to come here with this request. I am so blessed in many ways. I just feel like I am sinking totally.<BR>I feel like I want to die again...I am really scared.<P>I still do pray for all of you everyday. Not sure I am connecting but I am doing it. Hope and pray it is helping you all.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<P>

Samantha,<P>I am praying for you and your marriage. I do know that it is so easy to get discouraged when you feel that God is not responding the way that you feel you need him to. Continue to pray for your husband and yourself. When I was feeling really desparate in regards to the situation with my H, I would pray beside him while he slept. For some reason it felt good to pray for him while I was near him, yet I wasn't able to comfortably say all I wanted to say to God while he was awake. This is what worked for me. <P>God Bless

Samantha,<P>I know what you are feeling. I still don't have my tree up, and haven't baked not one Christmas cookie. I want to cancel the holiday, too. Only problem is - is that I have a little boy that I must carry on for. I must try and make his holiday less tainted than mine.<P>And I know what you mean, when the depression and lack of hope makes you feel like you are losing your connection with God. That makes you feel that all hope is gone. BUT IT ISN'T.<P>It isn't gone, Samantha. I feel very distant also, I guess depression and anger can make God seem so far away - but I know God still hears our prayers. So, I will stand in the gap for you. Your Lord loves you, and is there for you - even when you can't feel it. <P>Dear Heavenly Father,<BR>I just come to you with a broken spirit. I read in your word this week that you will save and be close to those with a broken spirit. Well, Lord - Samantha and I both feel this way, we qualify for those promises. Lord please understand us right now. We feel so hopeless, and so tired. Lord, give us rest from all of the evilness in this world. Lord, send your comforter to us to renew our strength, our faith, our hope and our wisdom. Lord, I ask you to help us with our thought life.<P>I think the worse part of this whole human life is infidelity, Lord. It hurts so bad. Lord - please understand our betrayal. I know we have betrayed you with our sins, and we put Jesus on the cross for our sins. Lord, I know we have betrayed you. But Lord, I pray for mercy. Thank you Lord that you are merciful and will give us mercy. Thank you that your kindness to us, although undeserving, is given freely. Lord, I pray that you will help Samantha, overcome this sadness.<P>Lord, please I know you are a God of love. But, Lord, please remove this counterfeit love her husband feels for this OW. Lord, expose this counterfeit to him, and help him to realize how counterfeit that love and relationship was. Lord, help him to realize that his wife is the "real" love that you will bless, and that you will never bless the counterfeit love of adultery. <P>Father, please help us. I sound like a pitiful person praying to you Lord, because I am broken also. I am so tired, also. Lord, I am begging you to please reach down and help us feel you again. You say that those who seek your face will find you. I am saying to you, Lord, that we are seeking you. We are seeking the love that we need to feel from you.<P>You say you will never leave us nor forsake us. And you will be with us always. Lord, help your presence to be known to us again. Don't take the holy spirit from us, and restore to us the joy, the joy of our salvation, and knowing you are our hope, our refuge and strength.<P>Lord, this is so hard, I know you don't like us coming to you to whine. But Lord, out of respect for you - I am not trying to whine, but remind you of your word. Lord, I claim all of your promises for us as your children, in JESUS NAME. Please, Lord, come quickly. Bring restoration now. In Jesus Name, AMEN.<P>

Oh Sam please don't be sad. My prayers are for you tonight. I fully understand about being down and crying all the time. I cry all the way to work, all the way home and then after H goes to sleep. I can hold it together most of the time at work. I try so hard not to cry in front of H. He hates it. <P>I will pray that the Lord remove the bind that the OW has on your husband's heart. Remember to say to yourself my favorite saying "all things work for the good for those that love the Lord". God loves you and doesn't want you hurt. I understand how hard it is to turn it all over to Him. I've struggled so much with this lately about my marriage. I do the same thing as Moving Forward, after we go to bed I put one hand on my husband and pray for him while he is asleep. <P>Please don't give up faith. I'm sure there are many of us praying for you and your marriage. Keep reminding yourself of what your husband told you, he loves you, he's planning on staying with you for life, he thinks he's starting to fall back in love with you. His relationship with the OW is NOT what the Lord intends for your husband --it is adultery and is sin. The Lord wants your marriage reconciled and is working in your lives right now. Keep praying for your husband that his heart will be softened towards you and God fills his heart with a deep love for you, his wife. I am praying this for you Sam. Please keep your chin up, we all care about you. <P>{{{{{SAM}}}}}}<P>AW

Dear Father,<BR> Please lift up your daughter Samantha into your arms and help her feel your comfort. Please Father, heal her H's love for Samantha if this is your will. Either way, please give her comfort and peace. In Jesus's name I pray, amen FRANK

Dear Sam, praying for you and your marriage. Tnt, that is a beautiful prayer.<BR>(((hugs))) cl

Samantha:<BR>I have also been so discouraged and felt a distance between God and myself. I would pray for strength and comfort and feel only silence in return. But keep your ears open. I've discovered that sometimes, God whispers, because the answer is only for me.<BR>Have patience and trust in the Lord. I pray for us both, dear one... <P>------------------<BR>Anne46<BR>

Sam, how are you doing? I've been thinking of you and praying. AW