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#336166 04/05/00 11:01 AM
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my wife has completly distanced herself from me. has said that she has no feelings for me "good or bad" and that she has given up, doesn't feel like trying anymore. i am a bad example of a "good" christian, but i am trying to put this in God's hands.we have a beutiful daughter and that is the only reason she says that she has not already left. she said that i am the best father she has ever seen and she doesn't want to take that away from her daughter. please pray for me that God would guide me through this and give me strength, wisdom, and understanding.<BR> i don't want the devil to win this battle and i know he has no power where God is. i ask that you pray for my wife to seek out God's plan for our marriage with me.

#336167 04/06/00 12:30 AM
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praying for you and your wife...<BR>Kathi

#336168 04/06/00 12:34 AM
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12b<BR>I'm sorry to hear about your W's distance. You don't say why "you" think she is distant. Did this just come up? Have you both spoken to your priest, pastor, counselor? How long have you been married, etc.<P>You could look through some of my old posts (March 15th around there), where I explain my H's feeling of not being in-love w/ me. Weird feeling isn't it? So I know what you mean. But PLEASE Don't loose hope, don't despair and above all DON'T give up and Pray to God.<P>Dear Lord, please soften 12b's W's heart, and let her see the importance of their marriage. Let her remember why it was they married each other. Give her the wisdom to do Your will. Give 12b the strength to continue fighting for their marriage. We know Lord that You don't like divorce, please speak to his W and make her understand that. Heavenly Father, we know You do things in Your time not ours. Give 12b patience as he struggles through this. IJN, Amen.<P>12 - please give us a little more info, there are a lot of wonderful people in this forum with LOTS of knowledge, (a heck of a lot more than me, that's for sure). So please don't give up. You are at least in the right place...<P>Good luck, and keep us posted.<BR>Pookie [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

#336169 04/06/00 12:06 AM
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sorry pookie , i did not give more information..thank you all for praying, i have spoke with my pastor and asked him to pray for us....as far as why i think she has distanced herself , i can't be sure....she seems to focus mainly on things that are negative. i am a very affectionate person,i love to hold hands,kiss,hug and enjoy just being close to her.. i like to buy her gifts and do things for her..i do the laundry, dishes etc.... i put the lid down on the toilet,,i know this sounds silly , but i guess what i am trying to say is that i don't think i am all that hard to live with <BR>i love her very much.although somtimes it is hard to have patience.but i try to think wwjd<BR> i am a backslider who gets close to God only in times of crises...i really do not want this to be another one of those "times". i want to live a life with christ first, just like he wants, but every time things start to run "smoothly" i act as if to say "thanks God i'll take from here" please pray that God will direct me. and give me strength to stay on the right path.<BR>thank you for all of your support!!<P>

#336170 04/06/00 09:13 AM
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Dear 12,<BR>well I'm glad you spoke to your pastor. As far as the things you said being "silly" I don't think so. <P>My H helps me cook, starts the laundry, puts the lid down (sometimes), works around the house and outdoors, great with the kids...So I too, like your wife didn't/shouldn't have anything to complain about. But I did. First, I took all those things he did for GRANTED. Never really thanking him, etc. not a nice thing to do. Also I assumed he really liked cooking, (he was helping me), but in reality he would prefer me to do most of the cooking, etc. <BR>After reading His Needs Her Needs (you have to read this book it is great and explains a lot of things we ignore) I realized a lot that we had been doing wrong. Now after my husband returned home he has shown an interest in the content of the book and asked if we could read it together at nights (I started reading the chapters I thought were most important to him, and he said, NO, please lets read them all). I was shocked for sure.<P>BUT maybe you are taking away some of your wife's responsibilites, she might resent it and not tell you. She might think that she has nothing to do since you do so much! Think about it, talk to her, read the book - together or separately it is an eye opener.<P>Please keep my posted. I honestly believe there is hope for your marriage and your wife will see it to. Just have faith in God and pray without ceasing.<BR>You're in my prayers. <BR>Pookie. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]


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