Thank you all for responding to my earlier posting "God is a Loving God". It is warming to see so many people in one place with such Faith, Hope and Love.<P>A lot of my studying came from one book "Winning your Husband Back, Before it's too Late" and it started with "Develop an Overall Plan". If I may, I would like to share it with you.<P>Once I had admitted where my relationship was, I had some choices to make:<P>1. I could decide to remain angry and blame myself or my husband. (This will result in me being stuck where I am until the pain becomes so unbearable that I finally admit, "I can't go on like this forever." Anger and blame become terribly self-destructive as well as deadly to any possible future reconciliation with my husband).<P>2. I could decide to grieve and stay depressed. (If I continued to grieve over my marriage, I may already be filling out it's death certificate. What husband would want to be around a constantly depressed wife? If the marriage isn't dead, don't bury it prematurely).<P>3. I could decide to bargain with God or my husband. (This attitude is characterized by, "If you do __________ then I will do _________." Bargaining seeks to manipulate God or my husband into being who I want them to be or into doing what I want them to do.)<P>4. Or I could simple decide to assess the situation realistically, accept reality, and refuse to stay stuck.<P>SO I CHOOSE #4 and first I decided that I was going to:<P>1. Establish Christ as my fulfillment in life,<BR>2. Become whole again,<BR>3. Get support,<BR>4. Discover ways to energize myself during the remodeling process,<BR>5. Honor my husband,<BR>6. Open my husband's closed spirit. Try to reverse the damage I have done to my husbands spirit.<BR>7. Forgive my husband,<BR>8. Keep further damage from happening,<BR>9. Communicate,<BR>10. Become a student of my husband. Learn about my husbands relationship needs.<BR>11. And if he doesn't come back.... I've have become and better person in Christ and found my way back to God.<P>God bless you and please continue to pray for my husband and I.<P>BabyDoll<BR>
