i have posted here for the first time on april 11th.<P>i need some advice and prayers big time.<P>i just seem to be going round in circles and so does my husband who just wants to get on with it and put the affair behind us but i am finding it so difficult and i know if it goes on much longer we will split up and it would destroy our young children who are only six and ten<P>please read my story and reply soon.<P>love<P>gabrielle

[http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042_qa.html]

Im not as eloquent as the others when replying to someone's request for prayer. My prayers are like a conversation with God as I am only now learning how to pray. However, know that you are in my prayers as everyone else is who asks.<P>God Bless

Dear Lord,<BR> Please help Gabrielle find it in her heart to forgive those who have wronged her. Help her to realize that forgiveness is a gift that we really give ourselves. You have told us that for us to be forgiven, we have to forgive those who do us wrong. Help her to know that there is nothing we can do to change the past, but we have Your power to help us make a difference in our present and our future. Restore her love for her husband and give her the hope she needs for her marriage. Let us put all our thoughts toward You and living the lives You want us to live. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Gabrielle,<BR>You are in my prayers, and just remember you are not alone, everyone at MB's has had one sort of problem or another, we all try and help eachother, which is what is GREAT about this site.<P>Go to the WOmen's Bible Study forum - we have a prayer session on Tuesday nights. 'HW' has explained how it works in Women's Bible Study.<P>***Baby Doll, don't worry about being eloquent to pray! I felt that way before, and what the women in Bible Study forum here made me realize that praying is JUST THAT! Your COnversation with GOD, not some rehearsed stuff. Some have a knack for praying and quoting the bible and talking from their hearts~~ and it is very moving and wonderful to read, others like yourself and I do the best we can from our hearts. <P>But you know what, it rubs off sometimes. The more comfortable you get with the bible, the easier "those" types of prayers get. BUT it is all just praying/talking to our Lord. No special or "correct" way of doing it. It all has the same result. <P>Don't worry! <BR>(((hugs))))<BR>~Pookie! <P><BR>[This message has been edited by Pookie14 (edited April 17, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Pookie14 (edited April 17, 2000).]

The best thing I've done so far to start the healing process is to meet with a priest. My H and I did individ. He had an E affair-- although he claims it was only a friendship that was not made known to me.<BR> <BR>The priest helped both of us to revisit the promises of the sac. of marriage. He had to courage to say what my H did was wrong-- which helped him to really feel and acknowledge it. The priest also helped to point out that just because the "world" that we live in today tolerates disrepect, selfishness, greed, dishonesty, infidelity- that is not the life we committed to on our wedding day. <BR> <BR>Since my meeting with a priest, I quit the marriage counselor. We'll continue to rebuild through the Church. It is my only hope.<P> If your values lie in committing to a life according to God's plan, I would recommend the same. The way to pray will come naturally.<P>Another helpful thing I read about forgiveness was at a Catholic church. The most important thing I derived @ forgiveness is that forgiving is not so much to free the one who has hurt you, but to free yourself -- no matter what happens, so you may continue to function and pursue the life you deserve.<P>Good luck and God bless.

Gabriell, I know how hard it can be to forgive. I think all of us do. But it seems you have the desire and thats the first biggest step. Im still seperated for almost 2 years now and ive had to forgive my wife for about every possible thing including many affairs. One day i asked myself if i would still lay my life down for her and i started to cry and i said yes. That really helped me to learn to forgive. I started reading 1 Corinthians 13 and that showed me what love really is. It was then i realized how unfaithful i have been so many times in my life to God. Yet God still loves me and His arms are always open for me. I still struggle with forgiveness, but its usually with other family members now.(there support has been less than ideal)Start with the words i forgive and ask God to help you do the rest. Your in my prayers. Mark

Thanks Lostpup and to everyone who answered my post.<P>I really needed help badly and you were all there for me and i really appreciate it.<P>My H and I had a chat last night and I feel a bit better because he told me how he felt and he told me he loves me a lot but not in the way that he would like to which I think he means sexually but hey so what at this moment i dont feel that way about him either.<P>maybe the sexual side of things will return, has anyone any advice on this? is it normal for the sex drive to go after the affair is found out and if so how long does this last? at the moment sex is the last thing on my mind, all i want is to feel ok emotionally and mentally before i start to think of it. But sometimes i think "well he didn't lose his sex drive with her did he". <P>let me know what you think.<P>i cannot answer all the posts because i am on limited access to this computer.<P>lots of love<P>Gabrielle