I apologize for the length of this post, it started small but grew large.<P>I seldom post on any of the boards, but I am asking for help here as I have not yet re-established a church home.<P>My wife filed for divorce in early December for various reasons. She said that her ladyfriend and lawyer assured her that a divorce would solve many of her problems and make her "happy". The divorce counselor (I refuse to call him a marriage counselor) said a divorce was no different than dissolving a small business. Based on this and other advice she filed.<P>Nothing I am saying here is intended to imply I am not responsible for many of our problems.<P>I have had no contact with her since mid-December. Her divorce is still in the early stages and might take up to another year or so to be final. I have given the entire marriage over to the Lord to handle; it is much more than I can deal with.<P>Our two older children (son 19 and daughter 17, now 18) left the home with me rather than be around their mother and some of the things being done and allowed in the home. They have both stated they intend to have little or no contact with their mother unless she chooses to re-join us as a family (I have discouraged this, she is still their mother).<P>A family friend who has known us for 12 years talked with my wife about a week ago, I found out from him yesterday. He said her face was very drawn and haggard, and she seemed nervous and stressed. He said he almost did not recognize her for a moment until she spoke to him, and he said it looked like she had aged ten years in the three months since he had last seen her.<P>This does not sound like my wife is a happy person to me at all, and it caused me great pain to hear it. As you ladies out there know, by alienating two of her three children my wife has already hurt herself far more than anything (including divorce) she could do trying to hurt me.<P>I am not asking for a written response, I realize that many of us (including myself) don't always have the time. I only ask any of you that might be lead to do so add your prayers for my wife to the already long list of people here being prayed over.<P>Thank You,<BR>RonS<P>Lord, I cover my beautiful wife, our children, our family, our marriage, the other hurting people here in the Marriage Builders forums, their marriages, and myself with the blood of Jesus.<P>I come against any and all of the works of the flesh mentioned in Galatians 5:19-21(NKJV) that hold power over our wives, husbands, marriages, families, and ourselves: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murder, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; against any negative word or prayer, against any Spirits claiming power over our wives, our husbands, our families, our marriages and ourselves, especially the Spirit of divorce. I break them, bind them, and cancel them in the name of Jesus.<P>Lord, I ask that you give us through your grace the ability to forgive ourselves, our wives and husbands, our families, our friends, the OP where there is one, our ministers, and anyone else we feel hurt, anger, resentment or any other negative feelings towards.<P>Father, I ask that you touch our hearts and those of our wives and husbands, and open them to you Word and your Will, Lord. Heal the hurt, pain, fear, anger, resentment, and any other negative feelings or emotions we are experiencing, Lord. Fill our hearts, Lord, and the hearts of our wives and husbands with the desire for your Word, and with the fruits of the Spirit shown to us in Galatians 5:22-23(NKJV): love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Speak to our hearts with your Spirit, Lord, make us aware of your will for our lives, families and marriages. Remove the blinders from the hearts and eyes of our wives and husbands, Lord, so that they may feel and see the hurt and suffering their actions and choices are causing.<P>Father, I ask that you give us the faith, strength and courage to stand for our marriages regardless of the circumstances, or what others may think, say or do. Open our eyes, Lord, to the little miracles you place in our lives to help and encourage us. I ask you Lord to heal our families and marriages so that we may glorify you in the victory of our restored relationships.<P>I ask these of you, Lord, in the name of Jesus. AMEN.<P>By the time my wife filed for her divorce in December we had both been skilled backsliders for several years. Our marriage had become so rough that the only thing we agreed on was that it was not possible to continue on the way we were headed. My wife filed the divorce papers, but it just as easily could have been me doing so. I had become so afraid of her that even now only a few trusted people know where I am living. I don't think either of us were meeting any of the needs of the other, and I had been in full withdrawal for at least four years.<P>In the upheaval of the first few weeks after the papers were served, I slowly became aware of a faint voice from the past, usually late at night while everyone around me was sleeping.<P>The first thing I heard was that I was to pray for my wife every day regardless of how I felt towards her at the time.<P>The second was that He had always been there, I had chosen not to listen to Him. The proof of this is in the little miracles that happen often daily in my life, not the big ones I want all at once.<P>Next I was reminded that our marriage was a Covenant marriage, made before and with Him, and I was responsible for treating it as such. He would provide me with the tools and circumstances needed to restore our marriage, BUT I was responsible for listening to Him, and using what he provided.<P>Finally, He brought back something I had read many years ago and have long forgotten the source and exact wording. It goes something like "To fight is easy, to run is easy, the hardest thing to do is to stand your ground when you want to fight or run". It was easy to fight with my wife, it was easy to run from her and our marriage, it's impossible for me to stand for my marriage without Him.
