title is a bit deceiving, but I didn't mean it to be. h announced this afternoon he was not going to be home tonight, would be home tomorrow. This after I felt like we had made so much progress. I asked him point blank while still on the phone if the outing was an I-need-space outing or if there was a girl involved. He wouldn't tell me...just kept asking why I needed to know. I hung up on him because he seemed amused at my asking. When he got home from work, he went out of his way to be nice to me..very complimentary, attentive, even got teary eye over the coming-home outfit I bought for our soon to arrive baby girl. He held the outfit as if the baby were already in it..exclaiming how sweet and precious, etc. Yet he left. And I don't know if he's on a date, with a crew of friends at some event, staying at his brother's house just to get away....who knows? I only know he dressed not for going out really, regular casual clothes, and no cologne (which he almost always wears)and I know he is not here with me.<BR>I feel so let-down. I love him so much and he can be so good. We have a lot to be thankful for. Our baby was conceived after 6 months of fertility treatments, and is already strong enough to be felt kicking and moving by him from outside my tummy. We've worked so hard to build the kind of life we wanted to bring her into, and now this mess of the past 2 months.......I can hardly stand lying in our bed, feeling our baby tossing and turning, knowing that the man I love...the father of this precious child...is off running around doing God knows what, totally willing to jeapardize our little family.<P>I know I need to pray and I have...but I feel so ineffective. Sometimes I wonder if my faith is strong enough to battle against all the influences pulling my H away.<P>Please say a prayer for us..I suspect the next few days will be rocky. i have to decide what to do about this. It is certainly not acceptable, yet I'm not ready to give up on him. My family means too much to me.<P>kim

I'm soooo sorry to hear about your hurt. I don't know your whole story, but I did notice that you said things were going well and you had both wanted this baby enough to try fertility treatments. Could he be having the jitters about fatherhood? I know my H had that problem with both our children. He was okay with it until he actually felt it, then he got the jitters. All it took was for him to hold the newborn baby though and he was better. I did notice that sometimes it helped to stop talking about the baby some. I know this is hard, but he needs to know that you aren't going to ignore him or stop loving him because of the baby. They amazingly seem to have the ability to get very jealous of baby. Make sure that you let him know that you think about him too. By him a new daddy outfit, or a T-shirt that says something like,"Proud father" etc. Treat him almost like a new sibling, extra love and care and something special to let everyone know that he is not going into the background. As for last night, I wouldn't worry too much about another woman, it doesn't sound as if he was dressed to impress, so to speak. I know you worry when you don't know where he is, but you are doing a great job! Lots of love, support and kindness is the key right now. I pray for you, your husband and your baby. I ask the Lord to give you insight and help you be patient. I ask that your H can work out the fears that he has and that the baby will be strong and healthy. I ask that you will both be courageous, you have such a wonderful new life starting and such a great opportunity together. I pray for your strength and patience. May God give you happiness. Congratulations. Keep your chin up, it will work out Gods way and that is always best. I'm sure things will get better. We all love you, your doing great.<P>MIH