Oh MY. Let me tell you, this has been quite a day.<BR>I talked to my atty this morning. H sent me a nasty little e-mail last night. He said that he is not giving me another dime until the hearing and that he can not tolerate MY verbal abuse to him. He told me that we need to move forward and dissolve the marriage.<BR>I got the letter last night. So, I called my Atty this morning and I told her that I cannot continue like this. I told her that my H was being very difficult to handle and that everything I do or say he is twisting around to use against me.<BR>She told me that she would call his atty and call me back.<BR>She called me at 11:00 am. She told me that my H is fighting for overnight visitations and that I probably would have to relinquish to him. She told me some other garbage that he said I said-blah blah and then.............<P>SHE TOLD ME THAT MY HUSBAND WANTS TO RECONCILE!!!!!!!!!<P>Now folks, if you have been following my story at all, this is as shocking to you as it is to me. Now, this is not from my h mouth, but from his attys to my attys.<P>I can only tell you that I am in shock. Numb actually. I have no idea what to do here.<P>HELP ME!!!!!!

There must be something in the water........... Me too. I don't know what to say myself. My W want to come home also. Read my post and I'll bet you can use some of the replies. Good luck. I wish I could give you some advice but I am still at a loss for words myself......<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Hey, girl!!<P>I love it when you come back. I stick by my answer this afternoon, even though some of the shock has worn off.<P>Take it slow. You know what to do. You've got a good head and a huge heart!!<P>The fun never ends, does it,my friend??<P>((((((((((Cheryl))))))))))<P>Lori

ceecee,<P>Well, like Rutger, maybe another family to be reunited by Thanksgiving!!! Great!!!<P>I think you and H need to talk about all this. How interesting that he sent the message via his attorney to your attorney...<P>Also, I think there is something important to learn about his perspective that YOU are verbally abusing him??? You just never know what perspective our spouse is coming from...maybe this warrants some digging....is it possible that you are coming off differently than you thought???? DO NOT mean to offend...Perspective is reality for each of us.....<P>I will be looking for your responses - dying to know how this works out! GOOD luck!!!<P>Roll Me Away

Cheryl,<P>Hmm... How interesting! Well I must say one thing -- PROCEED WITH CAUTION!<P>You are both still in a world of hurt, and I think that neither one of you knows how to communicate with the other without causing more pain, not yet anyway. He may want to reconcile, but it's gonna require that he can talk to you for more than 5 minutes without pushing all your buttons. Also I have a sneaky suspicion that you know how to push his buttons a little too (unconciously of course!).<P>I would take this very VERY slowly, and also I would take it with a grain of salt until you actually hear directly from the man himself, not through his lawyers.<P>In other words -- don't set yourself up for a big fall.<P>take care,<BR>--andy

Hi CeeCee -<P>I didn't get to your goodbye thread and I didn't want to see you go....so I am glad that I waited....<P>I Agree with Airheart completely!!!<P>Who knows what this means!!! Could just be your H trying to make himself out to be a good guy with his lawyer!!!<P>Have your lawyer send a letter requesting counseling to his lawyer and we'll see just how sincere H really is!!<P>You both need it no matter which way things go.....<P>HUGS, <P>Sheba

what strange things happen when you let go completely, eh?<BR>best of luck and love,<BR>julie<P>------------------<BR> <A HREF="http://www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#" TARGET=_blank>www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#</A> atp-113<P>

Thanks you guys.<P>I think I am more confused now than I was when H left.<P>I know that I need to take this slow- if this is truly real.<P>My H is a sly one. This could very well be a scam to make him look like the good guy and me the bad guy again.<P>I would like to hear these words come out of his mouth before I do anything.<P>Oh, I just don't know.

CeeCee -<P>Relax....why are you getting yourself in a tizzy?<P>There's nothing to get things in an upheaval for.<P>Just have your lawyer request counseling and see what happens.<P>No big decisions are needed from you....<P>Don't set yourself up to be kicked. Would it be his words that would be gospel or would it be his actions.?<P><BR>It's simple CeeCee....take what you have heard and let it in one ear and out the other until you see if he agrees to counseling. That's when you can let your heart rate go up.<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Yeah, I'd like to hear them out of "the horses mouth" too... I agree with airheart and sheba about being careful, but also with Rutger, Lori, RMA and LoveWasBlind that it's strange and wonderful and all that jazz!!!!<P>Take care, and tread carefully, sweetie!!!<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

I just got off the phone w/ H. I told him that I talked to my atty and she told me that he wanted to reconcile.<BR>He said ,"Huh? I never said that".<BR>I said that my atty said via his atty that he had an affair and that he was sorry and that he wanted to try again w/ me.<BR>He said,"Well he must have a different definition of reconciliation than me. I will be calling him in the morning".<BR>I asked him what his defination was and he said to to back together. He said that was the futherest thing from his mind. And that with all the tension between us, it is just pushing him farther away.<BR>I apologized for getting upset w/him and saying things I shouldn't have. I told him that I would not call him or bother him anymore. I told him I would stay out of his hair.<BR>He accepted my apology and hung up.<P>So, does anyone else think this is strange. Why in the hell would my atty tell me this is he didn't tell his atty this. I don't understand at ALL!!<P>I gotta tell you, my hopes were starting to get up again, and then came crashing down.<P>This is awfeul.

D***!!!!!!<P>Lori

{{{{{{{{{{Cheryl}}}}}}}}}}<P>I sorry your hopes were dashed...<P>My experience with attorneys is somewhat similar... I feel I have a very good attorney... but even he misinterprets my words... makes mistakes... let's typos go by like it was nothing... <P>No matter what mean jokes there are about them... <B>they are human and make mistakes</B>...<P>That will not make you feel much better... bu I really do feel... that's the way it is. My W's attorney is a real jerk... according to my W... W's attorney made so many mistakes in his filings with the court... she never could have won a custody battle with me. <P>Oh... take heart...<BR>You're loved here Cheryl...<P>If you need a lift... you can always stop by.<P>Jim

CeeCee -<P>This is what I was afraid of....<P>He probably left that impression with his lawyer to make him look good....<P>The reason I told you to let the lawyers handle it (with a counseling letter) is so there would be a record of your trying to accomodate a reconciliation.<P>He can now go back to his lawyer and say that you yelled at him or something...who knows what he could dream up!!!<P>Please, call and inform your lawyer of your phone call with H and ask her opinion of a counseling letter or something....<P>Don't forget his trend of making you look like the bad guy in this....protect yourself.<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

ceecee,<P>Prayers and good thoughts coming to you via e-waves right now.......<P>Roll Me Away

I'm so disappointed. i don't even have teh energy to cry anymore.<BR>I wanted this to be real so badly. I wanted this to be the beginning of my family being whole again.<BR>i can't do it anymore. i just can't

I know, I know, I know... <P>We're here... and so very sorry you had your hopes dashed... <P>God, this is a bad week... is that Harvest Moon tonight, or what??? Have you seen it? Huge and orange and almost seems to be smiling... maybe laughing at us... very bad week all around...<P>Big hugs, ceecee<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

Oh ceecee,<P>I'm so very sorry.<BR>I don't know what to say.<BR>What a jerk.<BR>Why can they not be honest, even at this late stage of the game. Why all the games, and all the sh.t.<BR>Bridgit is 'making' me some money at daycare - I'll get her to make you some too, and you get your butt on that first Qantas flight out of there and visit.<BR>Follow your dream - who knows where it will lead.<BR>I'm thinking of you, email following<P>hugs and love your way<P>Jo

Cheryl, sorry it turned out that way. <P>--andy

CeeCee,<P>I have been following your story off and on for quite some time for the simple reason that I believe we have some traits in common. Now I do not mean in any way to bash or pick on you because, remember this is the pot calling the kettle black. <P>CeeCee, what I see over and over again in your posts is an underlying problem with anger management. I know, because I have worked very, very hard on mine and live a much better and productive life because of it. You always portray yourself as the victim in your posts. Truth be told, your right, you HAVE been victimized. Your husband has many of his own problems, but his perception of you is that you are verbally abusive. I noted the attorney's comments about "nitpicking" on the visitation issues, your post about "beating the crap" out him and his sweetie and his comments about the verbal abuse to his laywer. <P>The problem with anger is it is THE most seductive of all emotions. When we are angry we are ALWAYS right. I've been right countless times, but hurt my professional reputation by the way I have reacted to injustices. A very wise old boss and mentor finally got it through to me when I lost out on a promotion. His point, right or wrong, PERCEPTIONS matter the most. I can feel the anger and bitterness in your posts. <P>So please, take my comments from one who has been there many times, lose the anger and you will find your relationships, at all levels, improve. Plan A if you will, or "catching more flys with honey rather than poison." If you want to have what is really important in your life you will do it now, TODAY, tomorrow and the next day. Ask yourself, where did all the anger get me? Did it improve the marriage, did it make the traffic any less congested? Did you soar through that checkout line any faster?<P>Honestly, just trying to help. You're a good and thoughtful person. Let the outside world see it and you will recover, even if the marriage doesn't. Good luck.<BR>Managing.