I may sound like the others, but I am tired and sometimes doubt that God really has heard my prayer for 10 years. Besides my church life/living is "the reason he had the emotional affair", he says. He said I left him... I am tired. I feel he does not want to really try and I am loosing hope, I once was so certain the Lord would fill my husband with the Holy Ghost and set his feet on the right path. But H just wants to Live his Life, go his way... He scares me. Jesus I am tired. Weekly he threathens to leave again. Left twice since the beginning of the year. I have such anger, fear, and resenment in me that it only takes some of his disrespect and verbal joking for me to strike out again. Its me but I cannot help it its as if he provokes me constantly...<BR>God help me to know what to do. Jesus make me numb to my emotions, I don't want to hurt anymore.<BR>

It sounds like you are doing and have done all you can do. I commend your patience and grieve for your sorrow. I do not profess to be an authority (just look at our mess) but you may need to protect yourself and take some sort of action on that path. Do you have family you can turn to for support?<P>It may be time to put yourself first.