I am new here, but not to the pain of infidelity and separation. I have been going through this (with the Lord's help) for 3 years. My family came apart because of my H's affairs. The last betrayal began just after our daughter was born. I have prayed through this and have had answers. I have had several internet friends and my H's family praying as well. My H needs to return to his personal relationship with the Lord. He has a bipolar condition and him mental state is devastating to all around him. We have a beautiful 4 yr old daughter. After a number of betrayals, I gave my H an ultimatum. We ended up separating and he went to live with the OW. With the Lord's help, I followed Plan A (not perfectly) and after 9 months, my H began talking of returning home. This has been his desire (off and on) for the past few years. We have come close to reconciling, but the OW is still in the picture and with his mood fluctuations, he has continued living the double life. I have stood for the marriage and told him he could come back that it had to be when he could make a commitment to work on our marriage. We have maintained contact throughout this time. Needless to say, there has been a great deal of heartbreak for both my daughter and me. His mood is unpredictable and I know that he needs an appointment with the Lord, before he will be able to be a husband to anyone. I am praying for this. He needs healed and restored. So, I am still trying Plan A. I am tired and discouraged as it is almost predictable that things will be healing with our relationship and then he will see her and he becomes angry with me and emotionally abusive. He is still caught in confusion and I am at a point where I am asking the Lord if it is his will for me to continue to stand for this marriage, or if I should move to Plan B. I have, in fact, moved to Plan B at one point several weeks ago. My H immediately pleaded for another chance and offered all the promises he knew would change my mind. I relented and we again began planning to reconcile. This week he became hostile and irritable. Partly his mood and partly his guilt. He has our daughter over for a visit and he told her he was not going to see the OW because he wanted his family back. Two days later he took our daughter and the OW to a motel for the night. I am asking for prayer to know if I should implement Plan B again, if it is God's will for me to keep standing for this marriage, for God's protection for my daughter that she will not be confused and damaged by this situation. I am bone weary at this point. Thank you....prayer is my only hope.

I will pray right now.

onedayatatime,<BR>I posted a reply this morning, but it shot into cyberspace before I could get it posted. <BR>I have been through s very similar situation. I know how it hurts. My h has been having an affair for 5+ years. He moved out last Sept. and for the first time they really spent time together. Se lives 1000 miles away thank God. Anyhow after spending 3 weeks together at Christmas (the longest yet) they decided not to move in together. Today he told me that he told the ow that he was seeing me. She said of you want to date others tell me. He said no, just my wife. So I do not know where it will go for sure but I'm starting to see answers to my prayers. <BR>I have been doing plan A since day one though I did not know it at first.<BR>But God has had to do a lot of work on me. For me it has been about giving up control and really giving it all to God.I has been a long difficult process. He has literally peeled off layer after layer of junk from my being. He has replaced it with a more joyful spirit in Him, a deeper faith and reliance on Him and many prayers and praises. God wants you to not worry about your h or anything else. But He does want you to seek Him with all your heart, mind, soul and whole being. He wants this time to be about you and Him, not you and your husband. The refining process is a very difficult one, but well worth the effort. This is also about what God wants to do in your h's life as well. <BR>My h too accepted Christ but has walked away. I too am praying for God to return him to Himself. I know He will, because He never does a job half-way.<BR>There was an article about a guy who keeps pushing on a rock that God told him to push on. After many months he gives up complaining that he has gotten no where. God tells him that through the pushing he has become stronger etc.. Then says. I told you to push on the rock. I never said to move the rock. I will move the rock. and PUSH means something about praying ... I don't remember. The point is God tells us to do our part, (seek Him, praise, pray,) and then He will do the moving.<BR>So I know the process is long and the rock seems monosterous, just remember that God will move your h. You need to seek God, pray and ask God to change you. He will, and He is. He will never leave you.<P>Father, I pray for this woman whose family is being torn apart by her h's infidelity. Lord, give this woman peace and comfort and call her to you. Cause her to thirst for Your word and Yourself. Increase her faith and help her to let go and let You do the work. Lord remove the ow from this man. Light the fire of desire in his heart for Jesus again. Light the fire of his heart for his wife and his family. Let this marriage be restored. Lord It is in Your hands. Thank God. We praise You for You hear our cries, give us the peace to wait for You to do the moving. In Jesus name, Amen.

Thank you Changed Man: I have read some of what you are going through and I praise God that you are seeking him. I will pray for you as well.<P>Dear HW: thank you for your prayers. Yes, we do have a lot in common and I know what you mean about the changing and focusing on the Lord. It seems I have been going through this for so very long, and yet much of the refining has just recently become apparent to me (not that he is anywhere near done with his job on me). As I have learned to quit trying to do this in my own power (I am working on this) and truly relinquish things to the Lord, I am seeing changes. Our daughter has been speaking out about wanting her daddy and mommy together. A couple weeks ago, I was having a very bad day. I went to my room to pray through it and began reading my bible. Sometimes a scripture will really hit me and I know it is for me. I read Psalms 8:2 and it hit me. I praised the Lord and thanked him as I realized that he is already fulfilling this promise. I am really trying to rest in knowing that my heavenly Father is working out a plan for my life. I have come from being among the walking dead (from heart break, anger, bitterness, rejection) to asking the Lord to fill the empty places in my life and heal me. I know he is doing just that. I still slip, but I am thankful that the Lord has loved me through all of this. I do not know if or when, he will restore my marriage, but I am standing for him to do so until he tells me (loud and clear) that this is not what he has planned for my life. I have really been praying for my husband to have a change of heart towards the Lord, that the Lord will become real to him. He has often said that if the Lord would come to him (as he did to Paul on the road to Damascus) that he would give his life over completely to the Lord. My H is coming for a visit this weekend. The current status is that he wants his family together and that he wants to make the marriage work. The OW knows that he has been trying to reconcile with me and she weakens and will see him on whatever terms he dictates to her. I have been praying for her that she will have strength and a strong desire for a righteous relationship. Several days ago, she called and asked my H to not contact her or see her and told him to go back to his family. She also said she loved him, but that she could not continue as things are. Praise God. I know that I have to keep my hopes on the Lord and not the circumstances (good or bad) and that is what I am striving to do. But, my emotions sure get in the way at times. I, too, believe that the Lord led me to Plan A, by his direction. It is so very helpful to have others to pray and fellowship with. For so long, I felt isolated and alone with the horror of my situation. I will be praying for you as well. Thank you....

Hi! Thank you so much for clearing that up for me. I take it as comfort, not offensive. I still have a lot to learn and I guess I wasn't sure on that point about Satan reading our thoughts. I know he can as you said suggest evil things. He really hates it when we draw closer to God doesn't he. It is so weird in my situation. I am feeling all this torment and my Husband is just going on like nothing is wrong. He is sweet and loving. I can only pray that he is being true to me. He is so naive and gullible sometimes and I really think he believes this woman is just being a friend and helping him know about the situation with his old boss. Like I stated in my earlier post. He absolutely says that nothing is or ever has been between them besides friendship. All I know is that she is a really bad influence. Single, attractive, smart and loves to party and drink. I don't believe that things were serious between them, as in an addiction, he did come back home while they were still working together. We were separated 1 month.<P>I thank you for your prayers and I will pray for you also. It is so hard when you have a child together. We have a 14 month old son. He sure loves to have his daddy around. I was scared that he was going to lose that before and now that he has his Daddy home again I don't want anything to ever tear us apart again. <P>Pray Pray Pray - That is my motto.<P>I pray that God will bring my Husband closer to Him.<P>May God Bless You and Your Little One<P>Cindy