I am in a wonderful recovery with my husband. We have been happy and he has found a new job where he is doing very well. I just found out today that his old boss is coming to work for my husband's new company and most likely will be bring his secretary to work for him there. She was the OW that my H saw while we were separated. She was his co-worker. After he left his old company I never heard her name anymore and it was wonderful. Now she pops up again and I am so discouraged and despondent. She even got his new cell phone number and called him today under pretense of discussing the job. Of course he told me about it. My H wanted me to get the position she will probably be filling. I can hardly stand the idea of her working with him again. I am so scared. I want so much to just trust in God but right now I feel like I am under full attack by Satan. Please pray for me because I feel like I am bound up right now. I am trying so hard to not say anything to my H about this. I just can not stand to even hear her name. I don't want to LB but it's going to be hard. I need help and prayers and advice and anything possible that might help me get through this. I don't want to be jealous or suspicious. I want to trust my husband. Pray for me. Thank you and May God Bless You.<P>Cindy

Cindy, <P>My H and I read this and he wanted to respond to you. I hope you don't mind. Maybe you can get something from his point of view, seeing as he had an affair with his co-worker. Here he goes... <P>Dear Cindy,<P>From my experience, real recovery didn't take place until I admitted and gave full disclosure of my affiar. What it did was break the illusion and expose reality. You must be right with God or reconciliation cannot take place on any real level. You must be completely clean of the other woman to focus your attention on your wife where it belongs. I tried to quit the affair many times before I admitted it. I didn't deal with it and separate myself completely from it. I thought I could be just friends but by doing so I was doomed to repeat it everytime things got tough at home. It's easy to go back when you don't face the situation and see ALL the pain you cause your whole family. Once I confronted the issue and saw how much I hurt my wife it exposed the other woman for who she was and made me want to do anything I could to insure it never happened again. I love my wife and the openness hurt her but, our relationship is bonded now more than ever because of it. The freedom from the lies has lifted the weight from our marriage and allowed us to have fun again. Your husband may never come clean on his own. I don't believe I would ever have admitted all the truth unless my wife had dragged it out of me by detective work. I was very upset with her for not trusting me and snooping. But, looking back, I owe her my life for releasing me from my sinful shackles. I'm not trying to paint an ugly picture for you. I'm just trying to help you understand the detachment and recovery process. Without the truth - complete, real detachment doesn't take place. Hence, not allowing recovery to take place on a meaningful level. <BR> <BR>I think you should be real careful with the possibility of him working with the OW again. No good can come of that. I believe that I could never be tempted by the other woman again but, by letting trouble in the door you are begging it to find you. The best way to stay out of trouble is to stay away from it. I believed that before the affair and believe it even more now. Even if he could deal with the temptation, him working with her again would tear at your soul. If for no other reason than that, he should not work with her. <P>I don't know what to tell you from here. If he hasn't told you the truth, recovery hasn't started and dealing with his work environment, you may be putting the cart before the horse. I hope I've helped you in some way. My best advice would be to pray for him everyday to be right with God. We'll be here praying for you both. <P>Cindy, it's DI again. We are going out of town for the weekend and have to go now. I will be praying. I'll check back on you as soon as I get back. Love to you. <P>

Hey You Guys,<BR>Thanks for responding. I'm happy that you all are doing great. <P>My Husband still says that he did not have a physical affair with this woman. He says that she is no threat to me and that nothing ever will happen with them. He always tells me when she has called (which has been twice to my knowledge). He says that it is strictly business and pertains to the situation where his old boss is trying to come and take over this new company (he is a snake) She is supposedly just trying to help him by letting him know what his old boss is saying about him. I don't know what her agenda is. He tells me that she is looking out for him as a friend and telling him what is going on behind his back. He says that he needs me to believe in him and trust him. He also says that she will not be going to work there but that his old boss just told her that. He does not want her to come to work there and he has already talked to the owner about me working there. <P>Last night we did get into an argument about it. He says I let things like this eat me up inside when there is absolutely nothing there. The thing is I know that there was something before and it scares me greatly that it will happen again like you said when things get rough at home. I truly need to give this over to God. I can not control this situation. I can not control my husband. I do not feel like the past has been completely disclosed concerning their relationship. I just hate it that she seems like such a nice friend, just trying to help him and I am the one who gets mad because he won't take out the trash. I don't want to be the nagging, complaining wife at home while she runs around with her little halo on. <P>I know that I have to let this go. Only God can help me. I can Lovebust him right into her arms at the rate I'm going. I have to stop it. If I go right back to the person I was before the separation he will probably have no problem rekindling their friendship. <P>He says to trust him, it will not happen. I also wanted to tell you both that I know he has not done anything wrong since he's been back home. We do everything together and he is wonderful at calling me at all times and letting me know what he's doing. <P>Even if by some longshot she does go to work there I can not tell him to quit. He really likes his job and makes really good money there. He did not ask or want her their. But you are right, it would kill me for her to work with him again. I can only pray that God will see me through this and keep this woman away from my husband. <P>Thanks for listening. Talk to you later.<P>God Bless,<BR>Cindy

THank you Lord for the restoration of Holding On's marriage. You are almighty, our Savior, our Redeemer and we love you so much Lord. We can never fully understand the depth of your love for us, all we can do is accept that love and offer our hearts to You in return. Lord, our dear sister Holding On is hurting, worried about her husband and the OW. Please take this worry away from her Lord, and replace it with Your peace. Give her Father, your wisdom and guide her in this situation. I pray that You will convict her husband so strongly about the OW that he cannot deny that it is You speaking to him and will heed your direction. Let him know without a shadow of a doubt Lord that he should have NO contact with this woman. I ask in Jesus name that a hedge of thorns be placed around Holding On's husband, a hedge so thick that the enemy can in no way attack him. Send the enemy back to the pit Lord, permanently remove the OW from Holding On's husband's life. Convict her mightily, send her off into the wilderness never to be heard from again, like You did with the OW in Abraham and Sarah's life. Lord, we praise You and thank You, our trust is all in You. For with God, nothing is impossible. We take back what the enemy has stolen in this marriage, in the name of Jesus. Thank You Lord, thank You. IJN I pray, AMEN

AW,<P>Thank you so much for your prayers. You are such a blessing to us all. <P>My husband called me from work this morning and told me that she called again. I feel that she is using the pretense of warning him of things going on behind his back as a way of re-establishing a relationship with him. It's really weird because I think and even my Husband made the comment that he thinks she has something going on with his old boss (who is also married) they are together all the time drinking and who knows what else. She is really some piece of work. I am feeling major hostility towards this person and I hate the feelings it gives me. <P>In reality she is really causing him trouble with his new job. She tells him that she heard that his new boss is saying blah blah blah about him and he gets worried and asks his new boss if it's true. His boss says no, absolutely not and I think that this makes my Husband look bad to his new bad. She is creating conflict and my H doesn't see it that way. I hate that he thinks she is like some guardian angel or something. He can not see the devious nature to her comments. This is only bringing them closer and bonding them together as "friends". <P> Please God open his eyes and let him see her for what she really is. I pray that he will not feel as though he owes her anything for her supposed loyalty. I pray that his old boss and the OW will be removed from my Husband's life completely. I pray that he truly removes himself from any association with her. Please God do not let this woman influence my Husband in any way. PLEASE GOD OPEN HIS EYES. In Jesus' name I bind and remove Satan from my Husband my marriage and my family. I claim the Blood of Jesus over my marriage and family. Please God create in me a tender loving heart. Help me to be a loving wife and create a safe and loving home for my husband. In Jesus' Holy name I pray.<BR>Amen<P>Thank you Jesus!<P>

Holding On, I think you head the nail right on the head <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I feel that she is using the pretense of warning him of things going on behind his back as a way of re-establishing a relationship with him<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I don't know why, but from your last post I felt exactly this way. Satan is in control of her life, and is using her to attack your husband. Now, its not your place to say any of this to your husband. What you've got to do is what you are doing, pray and pray and then pray some more!!! Let Jesus handle it. The Holy Spirit is mightier than any evil influence attacking your husband. Remember, <B>the battle is already won, claim your victory in Jesus' name</B>. Keep pleading the blood of Jesus over your husband and pray without ceasing. You've got to do your best to be a godly Christian wife so that your prayers are not hindered also. The enemy wants nothing more than to destroy both of you. Resist him and he will flee. God will protect you Holding On.<P>Dear Lord, thank You for opening Holding On's husband's eyes to the enemy's ploys. Reveal completely the enemy's plan that he is trying to implement. Lord, we plead in Jesus precious name the blood of Jesus over Holding On's husband, and their marriage. Father please increase the size of that hedge of thorns around her husband, assuring that there is no way the enemy can get to him. Thank You Father for confounding and exposing the OW. We praise Your Holy Name, dear Lord. Lift up Holding On, giving her the wisdom to say and do the right things according to Your perfect will. Lord, please continue turning her husband's heart towards You. He needs You at the center of his life in order to keep the enemy defeated. Thank You Lord for restoring this marriage, you are King. I can never sing your praises enough Lord. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN

Holding on, I have to admit the alarms went off in my being. Why would this woman call your h and tell him that his old boss etc is talking behid his back and coming to work for him. What a very messy situation. The fact that she would do this alone, it very immature and no good can come from it. I do not know how she thinks thi willhelp anyone. IU agree with you she is using this to get back with your h. If he does not see it then you must pray u[p a storm and seek God with all your heart. <BR>I would ask your h if knowing that the former boss is talking behind his back will improve the quality of the working relationship when it happens for them. Ask what possibly could she be thinking. This must be putting stress on your h. Maybe if you approach it from that angle it will make more sense. It seems that it would only make your h more tense with the situation.<BR>I pray that this all falls apart and the boss and the secretary go someplace else. This is not a good situation even if your h is sincere about it not being a problem Why would he want to open the door to evil a second time?<P>Father, loose this man from this ow. Loose him by the blood of Chrtist. Lord, cause this boss and his secretary to go to another place or back to where they came from. Lord, this is not a good situation. Lift the blinders from this h to see the deception and lies of this ow. Confound and expose this woman. Lord, let this h come to You. Lord, free him from all things that seek to bind him that are not of Christ.<BR>Lord, let Cindy hold onto You and seek you with all her heart. Lord, increase her thirst for You and increase her faith and trust in You Lord. Lord let this be done for your Glory and in Your will. In Jesus name Amen...

Thanks everyone for your prayers. You know we all do a very powerful enemy but he can try all he wants but he can never defeat us. We have all the power in the world - WE HAVE JESUS He is my rock and I am holding on for dear life. I will never let go. Satan is a awful awful demon and the closer I get to God it seems the more he attacks me and everything I hold dear to my heart. I am going to pray like never before. I will not let him hurt my family. He is using this situation and this OW for his amusement to torture me and my husband. What a pitiful creature he is. I DO claim my victory in Jesus' name. I know that Jesus will see me through this. The blood of Jesus flows freely for all of us that love and believe in his holy name. My husband is covered by that blood. I will not lower myself to sin against my God because of Satan. I will pray to be a Godly wife and make our home a safe warm haven for my husband to come home to. <P>Please God help me. You know my heart. You know my every thought. <P> I know that Satan can read my thoughts too. I know that God allows this for a reason and I will stand firm in my faith to God and not be swayed by Satan's wicked ways and thoughts he can put in my mind. I know that God only has good thoughts and that if it is not good and pure then it is not of God but of the flesh and Satan. I need help to sift my thoughts and make sure that I don't allow Satan to control my thoughts. I know Satan is using this as a means to get me to revert back to the way things were. I don't want that to happen. <P>I appreciate your thoughts and prayers and I will be praying for you all also. <P>I place my hurt, my doubts, my pain, my worries, my jealousy, my suspicions at the foot of the Cross. I will remember that I can give my burdens to Jesus and he will carry me. I rebuke Satan out of my thoughts, my feelings. This is a direct comment to you Satan and I have the power under Jesus to say this to you- I will not give up. I will stay strong in my faith and love for Jesus. I will not crumble under your efforts to destroy me and my family. I have the power of Jesus over me. YOU CAN NOT WIN. NOT HERE. I LOVE JESUS AND I BELIEVE THAT HE DIED FOR ME. I WILL SPEND MY LIFE LOVING JESUS. SO GIVE UP AND GET OUT.....<P>Cindy

Dear Holding On: I understand the pain and torment that you are going through. I have been separated for 3 years and praying the whole time. Prayers are answered and the best part has been that I have become closer to the Lord. I am still believing that my H will be given a new heart and become the man of God that he was designed to be. I am replying to you because of a comment that you made regarding the ability of the enemy to read our thoughts. The bible says that only God can know the hearts of man. I researched this very subject because of my own spiritual battle and I do not believe that the enemy can read our minds. He can see our actions, hear our words (that is why it is so very important to guard our tongues and to be affirming in what we say). He can deduct what we are thinking through these means, but he can not read our minds. He can place thoughts in our minds (suggestions, really). Many prayer warriors know that spoken prayers are powerful because the enemy can be made aware of our faith by this means. I, too, used to believe that Satan was a mind reader, but many believers say that he does not have this ability. Please do not take this as being offensive, it is meant as comfort...it was for me. I will be praying for you as what you are asking is backed by the word of God and we know that God hates divorce and the destruction of marriages. It seems that many families (believers and non-believers) are being destroyed by the work of the enemy. From my own experience, I see that the breakdown of marriage has such a far reaching destructive force in the lives of so many. The H & W, the children, the parents of the H & W, and even the OP and their families. Those who fall into this trap are led down such a seemingly innocent path, at first. It seems innocent and "good" and many betrayers even believe that it is blessed by God because it is so beautiful. Proverbs speaks about this trap and tells us that it leads to death. Thank you Lord, that we are your children, that you are caring for us and have a plan for good and that even what the enemy intends for evil, you will work out for our good. I have not yet had the ultimate answer to my prayers, but I see that God is working in my behalf. Many times, he has rescued me. He is always there and has become my best friend.