It has been five weeks since my W first expressed the desire to move out and resume "seeing" the OM which she had an affair with last fall. My life has changed in so many ways I cannot take the time to recap.<P>One thing that seems to be developing is that I am finally feeling the inner strength that I will need to complete my mission. I have been addicted to this website since May 30 and done virtually no poractive work at my job.<P>I'm feeling I don't need to cling toeach and every posting and article that I have printed out and read over time and again. I am also feeling less "desparation" and less grief when my W is "dating" the OM. I am gaining strength in the knowledge that I am doing and being the best I can, and certain things must be left to God. Using effort and mental strain to speculate or try to "control" some aspects of this situation can only drain energy from your real goal.<P>I feel that I am coming to an end of sorts to the mourning period which started when I saw six months of unaided effort to reconcile fall apart. We didn't know what we were doing and my W tried to convince herself she had no feelings for the co-worker and continued working beside him after cutting-off their private conversations and off-work rendezvous'. Our wonderful little strides never had a chance at full reconciliation and I had not yet truly changed my life in preparation for our new future.<P>The time of mourning is coming to a close for this phase of our trial and it is time to focus on the ultimate goal. I will still come here to read and post but it is time to get my work habits back in order to be a complete person ready for the road ahead of me. I'm getting on-line at home so I can separate my work from time on this site.<P>See you all out there, just not quite as often for a while. Thank God for this forum!

Changed Man, I am also having a hard time working. As you can see, I am also on the web site during work. I need also to get my life back in order. God Bless you. <P>Mike

I see your postings also started recently. Almost exactly when this second phase began for me which prompted my new lifestyle. We're both New Yorkers by the way.

Changed Man, Do you work in city? I work on Park Ave & 40th st. I pray that you wife returns to you.

Dear Changed Man & Mike, <BR>Wow, that's so funny. I work on 40th & Fifth. Small world. <P>I also was pretty much on the site a lot when we first starting having problems, but since my H returned home (St. Patty's Day) I've tried to concentrate MORE on our lives and following Dr. Harley's & the advice from my fellow MB's than just posting.<P>I know what you mean. Need to put your lifes back in perspective. Hope everything works out w/ you and your wives. We are doing fine, but sometimes have tini-tiny LB's. Try to avoid those at all cost.<BR>Take Care,<BR>Pookie

Well,<BR>Affair is on the advance. My w is showing definite signs of "addiction" to the relationship. Going "out" 3 nights a week until 1-3 a.m. Kids don't know yet but they have to sense changes in her activity and behaviour. Thank God I was prepared for this and hopefully for what is likely to come. I may soon tell the kids and bring them to counseling. I think I just devastated my father-in-law by opening my mouth about this. (my mother-in-law hadn't told him yet). This looks like it will be one "hell" of a summer to say the least.<P>By the way I live in mid-hudson valley/work in Jersey.<P>Good luck to you and I'll keep up the prayers.<P>Mike (CM)

Changed Man,<P>My wife went through the same thing. It started in December 99 to about May 00. She woke up. I found a letter she wrote to herself. She could not trust him. She does not trust me either. She stop going out for a ride every 3 times a week. So far so good. I pray for you & your wife. She will wake up also. Just keep doing for the kids & yourself. I know it is hard when you love your wife the way you should. Hang in there.<P>Mike.

Affairs are so so hard. With Gods will we will all make it thru. My prayers are with you.