CeeCee,<P>I have been following your story off and on for quite some time for the simple reason that I believe we have some traits in common. Now I do not mean in any way to bash or pick on you because, remember this is the pot calling the kettle black. <P>CeeCee, what I see over and over again in your posts is an underlying problem with anger management. I know, because I have worked very, very hard on mine and live a much better and productive life because of it. You always portray yourself as the victim in your posts. Truth be told, your right, you HAVE been victimized. Your husband has many of his own problems, but his perception of you is that you are verbally abusive. I noted the attorney's comments about "nitpicking" on the visitation issues, your post about "beating the crap" out him and his sweetie and his comments about the verbal abuse to his laywer. <P>The problem with anger is it is THE most seductive of all emotions. When we are angry we are ALWAYS right. I've been right countless times, but hurt my professional reputation by the way I have reacted to injustices. A very wise old boss and mentor finally got it through to me when I lost out on a promotion. His point, right or wrong, PERCEPTIONS matter the most. I can feel the anger and bitterness in your posts. <P>So please, take my comments from one who has been there many times, lose the anger and you will find your relationships, at all levels, improve. Plan A if you will, or "catching more flys with honey rather than poison." If you want to have what is really important in your life you will do it now, TODAY, tomorrow and the next day. Ask yourself, where did all the anger get me? Did it improve the marriage, did it make the traffic any less congested? Did you soar through that checkout line any faster?<P>Honestly, just trying to help. You're a good and thoughtful person. Let the outside world see it and you will recover, even if the marriage doesn't. Good luck.<BR>Managing.

CeeCee,<P>I have been following your story off and on for quite some time for the simple reason that I believe we have some traits in common. Now I do not mean in any way to bash or pick on you because, remember this is the pot calling the kettle black. <P>CeeCee, what I see over and over again in your posts is an underlying problem with anger management. I know, because I have worked very, very hard on mine and live a much better and productive life because of it. You always portray yourself as the victim in your posts. Truth be told, your right, you HAVE been victimized. Your husband has many of his own problems, but his perception of you is that you are verbally abusive. I noted the attorney's comments about "nitpicking" on the visitation issues, your post about "beating the crap" out him and his sweetie and his comments about the verbal abuse to his laywer. <P>The problem with anger is it is THE most seductive of all emotions. When we are angry we are ALWAYS right. I've been right countless times, but hurt my professional reputation by the way I have reacted to injustices. A very wise old boss and mentor finally got it through to me when I lost out on a promotion. His point, right or wrong, PERCEPTIONS matter the most. I can feel the anger and bitterness in your posts. <P>So please, take my comments from one who has been there many times, lose the anger and you will find your relationships, at all levels, improve. Plan A if you will, or "catching more flys with honey rather than poison." If you want to have what is really important in your life you will do it now, TODAY, tomorrow and the next day. Ask yourself, where did all the anger get me? Did it improve the marriage, did it make the traffic any less congested? Did you soar through that checkout line any faster?<P>Honestly, just trying to help. You're a good and thoughtful person. Let the outside world see it and you will recover, even if the marriage doesn't. Good luck.<BR>Managing.

CeeCee,<P>I have been following your story off and on for quite some time for the simple reason that I believe we have some traits in common. Now I do not mean in any way to bash or pick on you because, remember this is the pot calling the kettle black. <P>CeeCee, what I see over and over again in your posts is an underlying problem with anger management. I know, because I have worked very, very hard on mine and live a much better and productive life because of it. You always portray yourself as the victim in your posts. Truth be told, your right, you HAVE been victimized. Your husband has many of his own problems, but his perception of you is that you are verbally abusive. I noted the attorney's comments about "nitpicking" on the visitation issues, your post about "beating the crap" out him and his sweetie and his comments about the verbal abuse to his laywer. <P>The problem with anger is it is THE most seductive of all emotions. When we are angry we are ALWAYS right. I've been right countless times, but hurt my professional reputation by the way I have reacted to injustices. A very wise old boss and mentor finally got it through to me when I lost out on a promotion. His point, right or wrong, PERCEPTIONS matter the most. I can feel the anger and bitterness in your posts. <P>So please, take my comments from one who has been there many times, lose the anger and you will find your relationships, at all levels, improve. Plan A if you will, or "catching more flys with honey rather than poison." If you want to have what is really important in your life you will do it now, TODAY, tomorrow and the next day. Ask yourself, where did all the anger get me? Did it improve the marriage, did it make the traffic any less congested? Did you soar through that checkout line any faster?<P>Honestly, just trying to help. You're a good and thoughtful person. Let the outside world see it and you will recover, even if the marriage doesn't. Good luck.<BR>Managing.

Hi Cee!<P>I know that you guys haven't heard from me in a while and every so ofter I lurk in the shadows, keeping an eye on you, Rutger, Airheart, lost, sheba, and some others. I am sorry for running in and out.<P>Honey, what is going on? I am sorry your H is being such a *^%#R^&**+!! Just remember to be good to yourself and do the things that make you happy. Find yourself some new interests that don't include him or remind you of him.<P>I wonder sometimes why we insist on loving people that don't love us. Why do we want to be with people that do NOT want to be with us? We should hold ourselves in a much higher regard. We are NOT the losers. They are. They are losing out on being with good, caring, sensitive, loving people. And that wonderful jewel that they are pursuing at the expense of tearing our hearts out, will turn into CZ right in their hands. But then I will be far too late to reclaim the real jewels.... US!!<P>I love you, I am praying for you. Take Care. YOu can email me if you need me at liza44@hotmail.com<P>let me know that you are alright.<P>------------------<BR>Luv, Liza<P>Never fear, because God walks right beside you, and if you get tired, he will lift you up and carry you.

NB, Airheart, Bonnet, Managing and Liza.<P>Thank you all. Your support to me means so much. I love you guys.<P>Managing-<BR>Well, i must say that your post did sting a little, but I am certainly not offended. <BR>One thing i must clear up, is that I NEVER said I was going to beat the crap out of my H or his OW. The other things, yes, I did.<BR>I know that part of the reason that we are where we are- divorce court- is becuase of my anger w him. The thing that I find perplexing however, is that he seems to be the only one that can do it. I am so calm and rational w/ others in my life, that I cannot understand what the deal is.<BR>I would be interested in talking to you more, if you don't mind.<BR>My e-mail is cc7315@yahoo.com<BR>I would like nothing more than to Plan A my H back into my life, but I honestly don't know how to do it. I do ok for a few days and than -WHAM.<BR>I do appreciate your honesty. Thanks.<P>Liza-<P>It is so good to hear from you. I was just thinking about you the other day. I glad your H is back, but sorry you are feeling depressed. I will e-mail you. <P>Take care everyone.<P>Happy Thanksgiving.<P>Cheryl

CeeCee My H also said he wasn't giving me another dime until the hearing, we had a provisional hearing and the judge took eight weeks to decide on an order.During that time my H slide me $100.oo cash without the OW knowing I'm sure. He too is angry because I won't let the kids stay overnight. The judge finally ruled he is to pay me all missed money and that the kids are not to stay overnight, and if we cannot agree on visitation by final hearing time it will be delayed and home interviews would be conducted. I am so thankful someone was looking to the benefit of my children. My lawyer had assured me that even at the provisional the judge would rule for my H. I am so sorry he is not open for reconcilation. Don't lose hope.

<A HREF="http://www.anger-stress-marriage.com/discuss/index.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.anger-stress-marriage.com/discuss/index.html</A> <P>Dear Cheryl,<BR>I gave you this week a few posts back. Check it out. Might give you a little bit of tools to deal with all the anger you have towards your husband, but mostly - tools to deal with his anger.<P>God bless, and happy Thanksgiving.<BR>Connie