<P> posted July 06, 2000 02:42 PM <P>Well, last Friday my W was already out when I got home from work. Three messages were on our machine from the OM's X-live-in (10 years). She's a bit neurotic and her messages prompted enough questions from my 9 year old<BR>that I just couldn't lie anymore. My W had called me after I got home to make sure I got home OK and told me where she was, etc.. So when the kids asked questions, I answered. I explained what was going on all the times<BR>Mommy has been "out". I was careful to convey the real seriousness of the situation, and I also assured them that I will be the glue and symbol of strength that will bring our family back together according to God's will. I told them we will go to see the counseler (Mommy doesn't want to go) and we will resume going to Mass at the church where they (and my W) were baptized and where we were married. I assured them that I will always be here for<BR>them (including mommy) and we will get through this. I also emphasized that Mommy is not responsible for anything she does that may hurt me or them. For anyone who knows my story, the sign I prayed for (the car wreck) is working in a strange way. As a result we<BR>needed to go re-visit my in-laws a few states away to return a borrowed car. When we arrived, her mother and father each sat her down and sent her some powerful messages (to the effect of dis-owning her). My wife was<BR>terribly upset at how upset her parents were. When she realized I have been communicating more truthful accounts to them than she had been, she accused me of all kinds of devious things. I am a truthful person and that's it. Anything I say has no hidden agenda. To wrap it up, I think she finally is seeing that many will be hurt by this A besides myself. It is just starting with the kids. The fantasy, to some degree, may be tarnished a bit. Since then my W has told me (twice)that she was very depressed ( once at home and once at work). A month ago she used to say the only time she was happy was at work (possible pigpen scenario). She said she "wanted to quit everything and just stay in the house". That's better than "Now that the kids know there's nothing keeping me here<BR>anymore". Anyway, can't hang my hat on any of this, but it's clear that something is starting to happen here. The fact that she was personally attacking me out of anger was also encouraging. (she never gets fired up or attacks)<P>I'm glad I was ready for all this, there's so much more just from last weekend but I'm too long winded. It could get pretty bumpy but I'm ready and faithful. It's interesting, these events would sound devastating to some, but I have found encouragement from them. It's better than stagnating. "Be the person they want to come home to and they eventually will."Strength, faith, and commitment...<P>CM
