Please pray that the Lord will heal my broken heart. I cannot take anymore heartache. Pray that the Lord will protect my heart from any more hurt from David, and He will resolve the troubles in my life and give me peace.<P>God knows my heart, he knows how much I have been hurt by my husband's drinking, lack of love for me, his deceitfulness, his adulteries, his abuse. My husband does not understand how much all this hurts because he has never had someone do to him what he has done to me. I tried very very hard to be the kind of wife he would be proud of, that he would love. Apparently I failed. <P>Thank you all for being here, for listening, for praying. You are all so dear to me.<P>Love,<BR>AW

My prayers are with you. You are not a bad wife. The one thing I have learned throw councelling is that our husbands actions are not our fault. My H tries to blame everything on me, from the affair, to not having any money, everything(read my post from this morning). When I ask him what went wrong in our marriage he can not tell me. Please be strong, I know its hard but I have recieved and read your posts and I know you are a good person who believes in God. My thought and prayers are with you.

Dear Lord, you know the hurt and sorrow that AW is feeling. You know more than we do, Father, what it is to love and be rejected. We ask that the enemy's assault be stopped. Father, put a hedge of protection around AW. Give her assurance of your love for her, of your plan for her life, and give her the peace she needs to hear your voice right now. You are the comforter, and we praise you that you provide your comfort when we ask you for it. Lord, all things are in your control, you are bigger than any of our situations. We know you hurt for us, and grieve with us as so much of what you designed is destroyed by the enemy. But, we have your awesome promise to restore what the enemy steals and destroys. We ask you to do this for AW. We ask that you make a divine appointment with David. We ask that you work mightily in his life, to change his heart, to make him the man of God that you intended him to be from the moment of his creation. We thank you Lord, for AW and her love for you. You know her heart, Lord, you know her strengths and weaknesses. We ask that you heal her of her hurts so that the enemy can have no ground upon which to plant discouragement. We ask you, Lord, to bring the oil of joy for the spirit of mourning, to bring beauty for ashes. Renew her, refresh her, place your arms around her and provide her with your love in abundance and to overflowing. Lord, we praise you and acknowledge that your plan for AW is for good, that you are working mightily in her life. We thank you, Father, that in our weakness you are made perfect and right now, Father, we ask you to provide her with your strength. Amen. AW - I know how you are feeling. My H has been home for a week and I am weary from the emotional abuse. I know that it is his unhappiness that is the cause. I also know it is hard to envision what God sees in our H's when we are being attacked. But, God sees David's (and my H's) pain and knows the reasons that they are inflicting it upon those who love them. The enemy is having a hey day(so it seems), but he is defeated. Many times, before a breakthrough, things seem to be most hopeless. I think that the enemy puts up a big fight towards the end and it gives him ground when we believe his lie that all is hopeless. It is a lie, you and I know that. I believe that these trials are really a sign that God is working, mightily. It is just that the work the Lord must do is deep within our H's hearts. My H has been especially abusive, changing his thoughts from one moment to the next. Today, I have been hurting and thinking that I do not deserve this rejection, abuse, lies and torment. I don't and you don't either. But, I believe that all of this is rooted in a spiritual battle and really does not have to do with us or even with how our H's really feel. The bible says that the heart is a deceptive thing. When feelings are high is when we need to grasp unto the truth (knowledge of God and his promises) and pray. Sorry for rambling, but I see a parallel between our immediate situations and my heart and prayers go out for you. I will keep praying. You are such an inspiration for all of us. I reach these moments of despair (only human) and I cry out to the Lord and often in desperation. I feel as though I can not even take another breath to keep on living this life. But, God has always come through and brings me from the pit of despair. I praise him for I know he will do this for you, also. I have read many of your prayers and I know that you know God. He is a personal friend and "a very real help in times of trouble." I pray that you are already immersed in the peace that passes all understanding.

AW,<P>First of all, YOU have not failed!!! You said it yourself... your h's drinking, abuse, adultery, lack of love for you... HE is failing in this marriage. You have not.<P>I have been reading your prayers and words of encouragement to myself and others for quite sometime now. From just the little I have seen of you, your warmth and compassion are evident. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty to save your marriage and your steadfast spirit and patience are admirable. <P>So, don't see yourself as a failure because of your h's sin. These are his issues. There is nothing wrong with you! Shame on him for leading you to believe it is you. I've read your posts and I know you have done everything you can to be there for him. What you are battling is so hard - his alcoholism. But, the reality is this: His alcoholism is HIS battle. He has to wage war against it. This is somehting you cannot do for him. You wouldn't beat yourself up over not being able to cure him of cancer would you? <P>My heart goes out to you. It really does. I know you have hurt so much. I will pray that God eases your pain and works a miracle in your life as only He can. And He CAN do this! Just as David was against Goliath, and the task seemed insurmountable, so this may seem to you. This is my son's favorite story (we read it from the rhyme Bible). And this line has become my battle cry: "YOU come to ME with spear and sword, but I come to YOU in the name of the Lord!" We are being attacked with all kinds of evil and pain, but you come at whatever is attacking you in the name of the Lord!!! Big hugs. DI

AW,<P>I can only hope and pray that you're receiving that supernatural peace of God that supersedes all our understanding that has been prayed for you today right now, in the name of Jesus. <BR>You can't afford to give the enemy a foothole in your life; the Lord has brought you such a long way; we ALL get weary as we go through our storms but the word of God encourages us 'not be weary in well doing for we will reap in DUE season IF we faint not'. We have to take on the attitude of Abraham of 'calling those things that aren't as though they were'; Paul encourages us to rejoice in the Lord, always; continuously; even when we don't feel like we're the victor but God's word promises that we already have the victory through Jesus Christ.<BR>You have indeed been a great source of inspiration to us all. I don't always get the opportunity to respond to most of the posts here because I don't own a personal PC and my job is so demanding that the time is not always afforded me to respond but do know that I'm praying for ALL who seek answers from our heavenly Father and who are in desperate need of His peace; we are called to faithfulness and perseverance; IN ALL THINGS.<BR>The last time I posted here, I spoke of how the Lord had began to restore and reconcile my marriage; well, that was very short lived; on June 8th, I came home to a voice mail message over the telephone from my H that he's gone back to OW; there were things missing around our home so naturally, I picked up the phone to call him and was blown away by the message and it's contents. After about two to three weeks of re-living the hurt and pain of being rejection once again and at the height of it's excruciation, I acknowledged it as the will of God. <BR>I still love my husband but have come to the realization that it's not me; it's never really been me; it's his addictions and past mistakes that have him bound. It's a generational curse! He has to seek God's help himself. All I can do is continue to hold him up in prayer, even in his absence. I've been there for him for the last 5 years to encourage, comfort and aid him. I know that I've been a good wife; a good help mate; one that any man after God's heart would jump at the chance to have as an intricate part of his life. I'm going on with my life. I've made the decision to release him from this marriage; yet, I'll continue to seek God's will for his life and believe that he will answer because I know that he hears me.<BR>You be encouraged; draw your strength from the Lord; denounce the tricks of the enemy to play on your emotions. <BR>I'm praying for your strength, AW and will continue to seek God's will for your situation. He promises to reveal his will for our lives in his time; please, be patient . Paul encouraged young Timothy to endure hardship as a good soldier and AW, you ARE a good soldier...<BR>

My prayers are with you.

Oh, thank you all so much for praying!! Our God is so wonderful isn't he. I am so awed that people who you have never met will take the time to pray for you when you are in need and hurting. Thank you.<P>emani - I am so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to help you feel better, but I know that the Lord is right there with you, comforting you. I keep remembering the verse I just posted for Lone Knight 1 cor 15, 16 "if the unbelieving spouse departs......" I will be praying for you dear sister. Your posts have been so meaningful for me. I have printed them out and kept them in my bible to read over and over again when I get discouraged. Your prayers are precious and beautiful. Thank you so very, very much for your encouragement. And yes I have felt the peace of the Lord. During church service tonight I felt Him speak to me. He told me that "it will all be ok" and that He will take care of me no matter what. I have been peaceful ever since. I feel that the Lord has given you this peace too, hasn't he. <P>Jesus we love you so much. I know You are always, always there for us, carrying us when we think we can go no more. I praise You Lord and worship You and only You. I will exalt You and praise you forever. Lord, I ask that You cover emani, dead inside, ondayatatime, city girl, and tigger with the Blood of the Lamb, protecting them completely from the attacks of Satan. Dear Lord, please give them the desires of their hearts. Help each one to draw close to you and hold on tightly to the hem of your garment. Thank You Lord for loving us so much that You gave Your only Son. We can never repay You, but we can worship You forever. In Jesus' precious name I pray, AMEN