I have a question that may seem silly or they may be no answer, but I really need opinions from you guys.<BR>Can a person (husband) emotionally support 2 women at the same time? If so for how long?<P>I am not worried about my h as he has been so loving to me, home on time, etc. But I was at his work today and asked to see his icq history, he showed me history from the ow he works with, but his outgoing history was gone. There was nothing innapropriate, just aggravating that he has to talk to her still and I don't know what he says to her. The dialogue from her was very innocent .. How was your trip .. Did you take pics? etc <BR>Can he give what he is giving to me and mantain her? Just a thought. It has been my past experiences that one person usually gets the short end of the stick, there may be occassional signs of affection, but not consistent ones. This make sense to anyone?<BR>Help me please with your responses. I trust all of you so much!<BR>Thanks!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Mater<BR>mater15@ivillage.com<P>

Mater,<P>Answer your own question - if one person is getting the short end of the stick - is it you or OW??? I am willing to bet, especially after reading your "chicken and dumplings" post on another thread that it is the OW. I think it is perfectly reasonable to keep your "awareness" heightened and be on the lookout for anything that doesn't seem or feel right. Right now, although things aren't 100% the way you would like, it does seem like your H is trying pretty hard. Now, if only he didn't e-mail her at all........<P>Roll me Away

Thats the problem with continued contact with the op. It starts innocently and then somebody has a "bad" day and what was platonic turns romantic<P>I believe thats what happend with my stbx. She said they just talked professionally, then she starts telling me about his w, and then next thing she tells me is that he still loves her and is asking her to marry him, all this while telling me how troubled he is.<P>Next thing I know they are back together.<P>You should really keep discouraging him from contact with ow.<P>Hang in there and GOD Bless.

Thanks to both of you and yes I will continue to discourage their contact. Last night he told me I was making her out to be a villain for talking to him. But her and I exchanged several emails, in which she promised it was over, so yes, I do think she's a royal pain in the A--! But He and I are fine! That's what matters! Believe me, my eyes are not closed, just full of love that we are together and working for a better us!<BR>Thanks again .. Roll Me Away - Your answers are always so good. I read your stuff to other people as well. You gotta' a good heart! <BR><P>------------------<BR>Mater<BR>mater15@ivillage.com<P>

Hi Mater - Did I miss something? - why in the world is ow emailing your H with chitchat about his trip ie. personal non business talk? (or is this business and I just don't understand the situation) Can't he make it clear to her for your comfort that there will be no contact unless its absolutely necessary for business. <BR>I've forgotten how long its been since "it" ended for your H and ow. For the first several months my H kept saying the same thing, that I was making the ow out to be a villian. Yesterday for the first time he described her as manipulative, selfish, disloyal, untrustworthy - and the list went on. Oh, how I have been savoring those words! I know how difficult it is when your h works with the ow - I am very happy you and your H are doing so well.<BR> Simone

Mater,<P>According to Dr.H. contoct with OP has to be ended for life for full recovery to take place. As the betrayed it's going to be a hard pill to swollow if my W thinks she can have ANY relations with OB. If I were in your shoes I would use Dr.H's principle of honesty and tell my spouse how I felt.<P>Best of luck,<BR>Hang In,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Thanks again to all. Yes Simone it was personal. He went to DC for business, but it was no concern of hers. They work on 2 different projects. Read my post under Already Divorced Is OP Perfect. Irritates me! Yes I have used honesty and told him how I felt. But we only right at 3 months and I do know I am getting the best of him. Thanks for the support!<P>------------------<BR>Mater<BR>mater15@ivillage.com<P>