I have been posting in the divoring room. But I am asking for prayers for my wife.<P>My wife's name is Nicole. She is 28 and a recovering (I hope so, of 6 years) alcoholic who suffered great emotional, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. She has never dealt with it, and as a result it ended up tearing our marriage apart. She used to practice self mutilation by cutting her arms and legs. I am the one who got her to stop drinking and cutting. We lived together 4 years, and would have been married for three this coming october.<P>There is no hope for us to get back together.She will not go to counseling and will not even talk to me anymore. She is cutting herself off from the little bit of family she does have, and all her friends. She is living with the OM and demanded that I file for divorce, which, after many tears, have done.<P>I still love her, though I know that for me, the best thing emotionally is to let go of her. In her eyes I have become the enemy, the same as her abusing father and mother, for whatever reason in her head.<P>Nic is very sick. She has been writing journals of a fantasy affair with a man much older than her for the past 7 years we have been together. These journals are graphic in nature, despite the fact that she couldn't talk about sex with me, let alone have it. Now she is actively having sex with the OM, and I think it is a symptom of self abuse since she does not love this man, and has admitted as much. He too is much older than she is, older than me too. I think she is still looking for Daddy. There are also many other very paranoid entries, and letters to her parents asking why she was so unloved. IT BREAKS MY HEART. I tried to show her what love could do, but I could never quite get through to her. <P>As she has cut me out, I can no longer help her. But I know God can and I believe in the power of prayers. PLEASE PLEASE pray for her...........that she will be ok, that she will seek the help she needs and can find some peace in her life. I so much want that for her, but only she can do it for herself. No one can "rescue" her.<P>Her name is Nicole Alexander. Thank you all.<P>Her loving husband<BR>Ben
