Hi all:<P>It's been a difficult few weeks since I last wrote. Sadly, I found a love note that hubby left behind, hidden at the back of the closet shelf. It was not for me, but for Mia. Yes, I've realized that she was not the sole reason for the end of my marriage, but nevertheless, she was a part of it. I did something to her that I'm not proud of - and I'm not ready to let you all in on yet - wouldn't want any other of the scorned people out here getting ideas... (although H knows of this and he's pretty pissed off at me, with good reason)I'm sure there will be consequences to pay for what I did.<P>I'm so depressed about reading of this undying love he continues to have for her. How they met, and how he actually thanked her for making him feel wanted, needed, and valued. <P>Maybe we are all wrong - maybe there really are times when we marry the wrong person and somehow just stay in a bad situation for all the wrong reasons. Boy, I guess I really messed up on the emotional needs stuff. Now that our marriage is over, I'm learning, slowly, that I did cause him alot of hurt, pain, and made him feel unwanted and unneeded in our marriage. I'm still in counseling and I guess I'll work on these things so as not to repeat these same mistakes in any future relationships I may be in.<P>I'm still feeling very hurt and angry myself, but I am on the right road to taking care of me first!

Tired Lady,<P>How SAD for you to find the letter now. Isn't it a kicker that we don't know about not meeting their needs until it is too late???<P>You are wise in continuing the counseling and trying to find a way to make something positive come out of all this hurt. I know that you can learn alot from this experience and will be a better partner in any future relationship you might have.<P>Try not to beat up so much on yourself - whatever you did is DONE. But, you do have my curiosity peaked.....can't wait until you tell us, you big tease..... <P>Roll me Away<P>

Hi TL,<P>Glad you're still among the living, I was thinking about you just yesterday...<P>Re: <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>...wouldn't want any other of the scorned people out here getting ideas<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Maybe it's best <B>not</B>to share what you did. Just a thought.<P>I'm sorry you found that note "accidently" left behind. That's really awful.<P>But the good news is that you are taking better care of YOU and the very last line of your post says it all: <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I am on the right road to taking care of me first.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Excellent, TL... keep up the good work!!<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

TL - I've been wondering about you too. Glad you're taking better care of yourself now.<P>Although my curiosity jumped in, I have to agree w/ NB. Maybe sharing isn't such a geat idea. Your decision, though.<P>I am sorry you found the note. You didn't need or deserve any more pain.<P>Lori

Hi TL -<P>My thoughts are often of you also...<P>I am glad to hear that you are continuing counseling and I hope that through it you can find the way to fulfillment in relationships and well, just life in general..<P>I wish you all the best, as I do to your children and to H.<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Thanks to all of you for your continued support.<P>I'm sure I've peaked some curiosity about my "slip" towards Mia, but I'm definately not proud of what I did. I was not quite in the right frame of mind what I did was quite stupid and pranklike! Oh well, she's a smart cookie and I didn't get away with it. I'll share the details when I've finished my appology to her. UGHHH!<P>Never thought I'D BE THE ONE APPOLOGIZING TO THE OW!!!<P>New Beginning - I'd like to email you but I don't have an address...will you share it with me?

TL, <P>I want to email with you too... a little apprehensive about posting my email address... they all have my real name, and all...<P>I'll work on getting a new one so we can email. I'll check in tomorrow... <BR>I look forward to hearing from you <p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited November 24, 1999).]

hello tl, stay in counseling!! Be a bit easier on yourself my dear. You have had a very rough go of things and you deserve some slack. It is nice to hear you are taking car of yourself better. Keep working on you, and the happiness will come. (((hugs)))

OK, TL...<P>my email is new_beginning@email.msn.com<P>WRITE PLEASE!! <P>------------------<BR>Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you are among the stars!!

TL,<BR>Your post is very pleasant. It is good to here from you and to see that your marriage did not succeed solely because of your H or Mia. I am so proud of you.<P>Your previous posts showed the anger that resulted from your frustration. <P>You probably don't want to here this but here it is in the most loving way that I know how: I feel that the only time we marry the wrong person is when we don't allow God to direct our paths. Though I have had to deal with 8 affairs (by my count) in 6 years, I would still marry my W all over again knowing that I would be hurt as badly as I have been. I would do this only because I know that God brought her into my life for whatever reason. I am still working out some of the reason why. However, the largest reason was for me to get closer to Him. The others He is revealing slowly but surely.<P>I am partly to blame for my W's reaction because I was not necessarily the most effective communicator. I am sometimes overbearing, etc. I acknowledge that I have not been her definition of the ideal husband. However, I don't think that there ever will be an ideal spouse.<P>Praying for you. You sound good. Hang in there. Maybe you will work things out so that you get back together or at least be the best of friends.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

Tired Lady -- I am afraid that I can offer you nothing but my thought and prayers.<P>I wish it could be more.<P>God Bless

Tired Lady,<P>I have followed your posts for so long and responded to many however you always have so many excellent replies, it's usually not necessary or missed. But I do want you to know you are in my thoughts and I wish so much for the very best for you. You certainly deserve it.<P>I can relate to so much of what you have gone through and have felt much of your pain and frustration. Feel free to email me anytime you want to talk... Nerlycrzy@aol.com. I'd love to talk with you. <P>It's good to hear you are finally beginning to concentrate on you,,,taking care of YOU and trying to feel better. That's a big step and an essential one in getting on with your life and whatever path you choose. I'm thinking about you Tired Lady and hoping for the best for you

TL, I know what you did, and I wish she would have pressed charges. You had no right. You're behaving like a 10 year old.<P>You've gotten "back" at her with all your hatred .... leave her alone, will ya? She's NOT seeing your H.<P>Poop or get off the pot.

NB - I'll email you sometime today.<P>Prf Org - thanks for your thoughts and kind words. Doubt H and I will ever be "back together" or even "best friends" but we'll be civil to each other - at least for the kids sakes.<P>NerlyCrzy - I wish I'd "responded" well to my own situation earlier. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, huh? I'll stay in touch with you too.<P>Maya: How would you know what I did anyway? I have not shared that information here. Like I mentioned, I was out of line and I know I must appologize. Weather Mia accepts it or not is up to her.

Let's just say that if her son had gotten violently ill over that weekend, you had put her in a very awful position .... you're a mother .... think about it.<P>The fact that she DIDN'T press charges should show you that she's the more mature one here -- and will accept your apology, I'm sure of it.<P>Now please stop wasting all your time and energy on Mia ....

Thanks for the reality check Maya. I guess the betrayers feel some sort of need to stick up for each other. Mia will get her appology today. Not sure if it will be via email or with a phone call. My H has said he wants to be present when I do this (perhaps to make sure I follow through, or maybe to make sure I don't say or do anything else to upset her)<P>

I just hate to see a REPENTANT betrayer continue to be dogged by a woman scorned. Your fight isn't with Mia, it's with your HUSBAND ....

Maya - Why don't you stop projecting, and lay off Tired Lady? I'm sure she feels bad enough without you attacking her.<P>

Hello? And you don't think Mia feels bad enough without having having childish pranks pulled on her?<P>There are more people hurting in this situation besides TL ... but she's the only one lashing out like this ....<P>You applaud her actions?<p>[This message has been edited by Maya (edited November 24, 1999).]

I don't even know what her actions WERE, so I certainly can't applaud them. <P>And about you picking on her, isn't this site supposed to be about CONSTRUCTIVE feedback? I didn't see anything constructive in your posts. <P>It's not your place to judge Tired Lady, no matter what she did. Don't they teach you things like that in church?<P>