I am confused.... I'm sure you've heard it here before. I pray for direction, insight, and prayer warriors like all of you, by my side. <P>I am 42, separated for 20 months, h is not sure of direction for future, he's living with his mom. I'm at home with kids for now. I was home for first 7 months then let him move in with kids (I went elsewhere) for about 7 months and now I am back and he's out. I was thinking about letting him move in again, I can go housesit (no rent!). But... I'm not sure I should, I've had some counseling and advice from friends and family. Most say I should stay with kids now due to other stress in my life which would be compounded by leaving again. I lost my job of 21 years due to downsizing and am worried about money and my future. I want to go back to school (never got a degree) and now is probably my last chance but I need scholarship money and federal assistance. <P>But what do I do? I pray that God opens the doors that I should be passing through and closes those that aren't good for me now.<P>Should I leave home or stay?<BR>Should I go to school or take menial work?<BR>Shoulc I die to my flesh and give my h a chance to stay with kids again?<BR>Is it helping our marriage for him to see me give rather than take?<P>With the stress and confusion I am having trouble getting anything done, my house work is falling behind, the laundry is piled high. I am currently working a temporary job and just started another part time job to try stay ahead of the bills. He pays the house payment and brings home groceries and I take care of the rest, insurance, heat, elec., phone, on and on and on. Plus 3 teenagers are expensive!! Anyhow, I just need to make some decisions and get on with the "PLAN" whatever that might be. I don't know what to do first... house work of course and pay the bills, next work on looking for funding for school (the more I can get the less I will have to work). I am afraid if I try to go to school and work full time I will fail in both areas.<P>But most importantly, I need to work on my relationship with GOD and follow his direction for my marriage. I am willing to wait for God to work on h's heart..... but what do I do in the meantime?<P>Sorry so long, it's all so confusing and seems like a mess.<P>By the way, my personality type tends to be unorganized and shoot from the hip but that is getting out of control!!! LAP

My sister is having similar problems-"what should I do next?". One suggestion is to only work on one of these things at a time. Start with the most pressing one-i.e. place to reside or job-whatever you feel is bothering you the most right now. Also don't think too hard about which issue it the most important. That should be the easy part. The next step might be to work only on that one issue until you feel you have it somewhat under control-not completely-but at least some decisions have been made in that area. Try to stay focused on that without letting too much of the other issues creap in. Just one decision sometimes can make you feel so much more in control.<P>One word of encouragement about your education. You can do it! You don't have to overload your schedule. Maybe take one class at a time to start-then if you feel you can handle more go for it-but only add more classes when you really think you can handle it. If you get in the middle of a a sememster and you feel overloaded drop a class-pick it up later-don't fret over it It would be better to take the classes at a slower rate than to burn out in one or two semesters and not have the will to finish. I have not personally done this but my husband has. He work 55 to 60 hours a week and started back to school when our oldest daughter was 1 1/2 years old-then came twin girls and he graduated when our youngest son was 2 years old (yes,that's 4 children). It took him 6 years doing it one class at a time but you know they all add up and eventually they tell you that you can have a degree. My husband was 37 years old and that was in 1997. He is now an manufacturing engineer. You can do it! But again I want to caution you this is probably not the most pressing issue in your life right now-but it is on the list and you can get around to it. Don't give up on it and don't let anyone talk you out of it.<P>I remember my husband questioning many times about how long it was taking and how old he was going to be when he gratuated. I would remember the saying-your going to be 37 years old in 1997 anyway-why not have a degree in hand.<P>I am sorry if I have taken too much of your time. I hope that I do not seem pushy-I am only trying to encourage. Please understand that I give this advice humbly-I am certainly no expert! <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by waiting4ever:<BR><B>I am confused.... I'm sure you've heard it here before. I pray for direction, insight, and prayer warriors like all of you, by my side. <P>I am 42, separated for 20 months, h is not sure of direction for future, he's living with his mom. I'm at home with kids for now. I was home for first 7 months then let him move in with kids (I went elsewhere) for about 7 months and now I am back and he's out. I was thinking about letting him move in again, I can go housesit (no rent!). But... I'm not sure I should, I've had some counseling and advice from friends and family. Most say I should stay with kids now due to other stress in my life which would be compounded by leaving again. I lost my job of 21 years due to downsizing and am worried about money and my future. I want to go back to school (never got a degree) and now is probably my last chance but I need scholarship money and federal assistance. <P>But what do I do? I pray that God opens the doors that I should be passing through and closes those that aren't good for me now.<P>Should I leave home or stay?<BR>Should I go to school or take menial work?<BR>Shoulc I die to my flesh and give my h a chance to stay with kids again?<BR>Is it helping our marriage for him to see me give rather than take?<P>With the stress and confusion I am having trouble getting anything done, my house work is falling behind, the laundry is piled high. I am currently working a temporary job and just started another part time job to try stay ahead of the bills. He pays the house payment and brings home groceries and I take care of the rest, insurance, heat, elec., phone, on and on and on. Plus 3 teenagers are expensive!! Anyhow, I just need to make some decisions and get on with the "PLAN" whatever that might be. I don't know what to do first... house work of course and pay the bills, next work on looking for funding for school (the more I can get the less I will have to work). I am afraid if I try to go to school and work full time I will fail in both areas.<P>But most importantly, I need to work on my relationship with GOD and follow his direction for my marriage. I am willing to wait for God to work on h's heart..... but what do I do in the meantime?<P>Sorry so long, it's all so confusing and seems like a mess.<P>By the way, my personality type tends to be unorganized and shoot from the hip but that is getting out of control!!! LAP</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hi, I have been recieving strength and direction from <A HREF="http://www.libertysavard.com" TARGET=_blank>www.libertysavard.com</A> <BR>She has principles in her book bout binding and loosing. And information regarding our unsurrendered souls, and also how to pray in God's will re our families. I think it will bless you. Will be praying for you in this fashion, God Bless, Britt.