I really don't know if this will do any good, but I believe in God and prayer. My wife and I have been married for eight years. If I had been honest with myself I would have saved myself the pain of hurting someone and being hurt as well. It's devastating. Why does there have to be so much garbage in people's lives?<BR>We both have problems. There has been abuse both verbal and physical in the past (no physical in the last five years). I have anger problems and she was sexually abused as a child. We met in college, and we fell in love. We were good together, but had never resolved our own baggage. We suffered for it. We've been separated ten months and have a wonderful, beautiful ten month old boy. I get to see him often, but am so sad that he now has to suffer from not having a strong family there all the time. My wife and I are each seeing separate counselors for our own problems. We interact well. My anger is dealt with, but she is still so angry at me for not being the husband she needed me to be. She has left me four times and my eyes were finally opened this last time about what I was doing to my family, and I got help. She is not ready to be healed yet, and that is frustrating. I wish that I could save my marriage. I still love my wife and son so much and wish to make it work this time. My family says I need to be patient and pray hard. I'm lonely though, being in my own place. I don't know what to do. Please pray for me.

I understand your lonliness but I dealt with it last week and found my strength and comfort in Christ Jesus. You will make it, I've been separated for 20 months and I too was the one who needed to make major changes in my life. I've had the time to work on ME and with God's help I am a much better person today, I am being prepared to re-enter a marriage based on the foundation of the Bible and God's word for marriage. My husband isn't ready yet but I know that someday he will be. To be sure, this time although spent apart is very needed to prepare you. Pray a lot, read good books, stay connected to this web site. We all will be praying for you as well. Where two or more are together God is with us. <P>Lord I lift this family up to you, wrap your loving protective arms around them. Give chiliboy a vision for the future you have prepared. IJN LAURIE