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#337723 01/08/01 01:39 AM
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Its been almost 3 years now since my wife left and she is once again in treatment for drugs and manic depression and we are once again seeing each other. My prayers like usual seem to start being answered and then she runs in the other direction for only God knows how many times now. Hope scares me to death because it has always disapointed me. My wounds have been reopened once again, I dont know what faith means anymore. I had so much faith thru the worst of circumstances and believed nothing is to great for the Lord. Now all i believe is God put me here to live in sorrow for whatever great reasons he may have. I just want to die. Mark

#337724 01/07/01 08:36 PM
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Mark--<BR>I am sorry you are in such deep pain. I can't say that I understand how God works, but I do not believe he wants you to suffer. rather, I believe that he wants to be your guide and comfort, through whatever your life brings...happiness, sadness, joy & pain.<P>I am praying that he make his presence known to you, that he will comfort you and support you.<P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi

#337725 01/08/01 12:56 PM
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Mark...your faith is being tested. Don't give up!!! God didn't put anyone on earth to suffer but what is happening now is happening for a reason. Please Mark take heart for the God old lord will listen to your prayers. I'll keep you in my daily prayers.<P>God Bless<BR>Real123

#337726 01/08/01 09:16 PM
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Thank you Kathi and Real. God has really touched my heart the last few days and has given me a lot of peace. This has been a long hard road for me and it has its moments. I can still praise God thru it all. Nobody can explain why God allows so much suffering. Sometimes all i have to be thankful for is my salvation and no more tears when i leave this life. Sometimes i wish i could comprehend what i have in Jesus. Thank you again for your prayers. Mark

#337727 01/12/01 04:02 PM
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It is hard to understand sometimes why God allows us to suffer and go through things, but remember that He is with you always and He is working in your life. I am praying for you, your children and your wife.<BR>God Bless!

#337728 01/12/01 04:56 PM
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Have you read "The Love Story of Hosea" over in the Women's Bible Study? If you haven't read it yet, please read it, I believe it will encourage your heart!

#337729 01/18/01 11:32 PM
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Thank you LUVBUG, i will read the story on Hosea. Im very familiar with the book of Hosea. I sometimes think im the modern day Hosea. My life, wife and marriage almost paralells it. I have found a renewed faith recently and am getting closer to my wife again. She will be going in to a psyciatric hospital again either tonight or tommorow for being suicidal again. Its hard to see if Gods hand is on my situation cause, she will be doing so well and i think God is doing some healing and whammo, shes back to being a different person. Its like slow torture, and ive been going thru this for almost 5 years total, when she started going off the deep end, and we have been seperated for almost 3 years now. I just wonder when it ends and if God acually intends on doing any healing. I have faith and hope. Thank you all for your prayers. Mark

#337730 01/23/01 03:49 PM
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Mark, your thread has touched me! Faith, that is a very big word and at times very hard to understand. In my situation my faith has grown by leaps and bounds. And it was not easy. I am a type A everything is black or white NO gray..so you see faith was very diffcult for me. Mark, I got on my knees and asked God to strengthen my faith. I had to do this every day..sometimes three or four times a day. It happened so slowly, I did not even notice. I have such a sense of contentment..no worries....it is such a good feeling. He has taken care of every one of my needs...please go to the website rejoiceministries.com it has given me encouragement. I fear nothing...God is with me, and nothing, not even my WS can hurt me anymore...Peace<BR>Kathie

#337731 01/25/01 07:58 PM
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I would recommend that you immediately read "The Case for Faith" Lee Strobel<BR>An atheist turned Christian---<BR>"Let this world be"<BR>"Would you agree that the difference between us and God is greater than the difference between us and , say, a bear? <BR>Imagine a bear in a trap and a hunter who, out of sympathy, wants to liberate him. He tries to win the bear's confidence, but he can't do it, so he has to shoot the bear full of drugs. The bear, however, thinks this is an attack and that the hunter is trying to kill him. He doesn't realize that this is being done out of compassion.<BR>Then in order to get the bear out of the trap, the hunter has to push him further into the trap to release the tension on the spring. If the bear were semiconscious at that point, he would be even more convinced that the hunter was his enemy who was out to cause him suffering and pain. But the bear would be wrong. He reaches the incorrect conclusion because he's not a human being.<BR>Now, how can anyone be certain that's not an analogy between us and God? I believe God does the same to us sometimes, and we can't comprehend why he does it any more than the bear can understand the motivations of the hunter. As the bear could have trusted the hunter, so we can trust God." With my love..

#337732 01/25/01 08:08 PM
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I just wanted to say that whatever books you read- There is good and bad in them- always compare them to scripture- there is where the truth- the word of God is- trust the great "I Am"<BR>with love

#337733 01/26/01 12:39 AM
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Lostpup,<P> I am checking in on you.You are in my prayers, <P> Beth

#337734 01/30/01 12:28 AM
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Thank you all for your support and prayers. Vincent, i can see that we are a lot alike and rejoice minisries (charlene cares) has been a real blessing to me for the last year. When i started this thread i was having a bad day. I hate to admit it sometimes, but my faith has grown greatly through my trials. Faith comes when we are tested beyond our own strenth and its been my experience that it aint no fun at all. My advice to everybody is be careful what you pray for. Yes ive been dumb enough to pray for patience once, and yes ive prayed that God would increase my faith. What a road ive been on. At this point, im seeing and spending a lot of time with my wife and she is recovering very well. She is in love with me again and im starting to see that my faith and trust in the Lord hasent been in vain as the enemy constantly tries to make me believe. Ive learned a lot about faith and the peace of God along the way, but i still have my days of doubt and disalusionment. I praise God for carrying me thru my trials and putting up with me. I also praise God for my brothers and sisters out there praying for me. Mark

#337735 01/30/01 09:02 AM
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I've always heard that the strongest steel is the steel tried in the hottest fire. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

#337736 01/30/01 09:40 AM
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Lostpup..<P>Remember when doubt and frustration come over you and you wonder about God, what is happening to you? There is so much spiritual warfare going on around you..satan wants you back soooo bad. He works overtime on us Christians, because he has the others in his pocket. When you have that doubt, picture satan laughing at you...You are in my prayers..<BR>Kathie

#337737 01/30/01 09:16 PM
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Thank you Kathie. I know when the enemy is working so hard againts me, that i must be goin in the right direction. Satan definantly hates me with a passion. The fight is in Gods hands and i just have to daily remember that. Satan has offered me so many deals i just got to laugh, and i almost took one (another woman) but i walked away and choose Gods plan and that was to see the restoration of my marriage thru and it still looks hopeless at times. Mark

#337738 04/17/01 02:29 PM
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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lostpup:<BR><B>Its been almost 3 years now since my wife left and she is once again in treatment for drugs and manic depression and we are once again seeing each other. My prayers like usual seem to start being answered and then she runs in the other direction for only God knows how many times now. Hope scares me to death because it has always disapointed me. My wounds have been reopened once again, I dont know what faith means anymore. I had so much faith thru the worst of circumstances and believed nothing is to great for the Lord. Now all i believe is God put me here to live in sorrow for whatever great reasons he may have. I just want to die. Mark</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Faith is knowing that God is listening, and answering your prayer even as you doubt it. To God nothing is nothing. But Him doing something in your life is to rekindle your faith in him. He put you on this earth, sent from heaven, to teach, show and give love to others. Your faith in God is dying and he wants it to live, because then he can use the power of love at his disposal to aid others who need him as well. He knows your wife runs from his love. Do you as well? He knows not.<P>

#337739 04/17/01 02:39 PM
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Faith is simply believing that there is a power greater than you. I choose to call mine GOD but you could for instance use Good Orderly Direction or perhaps Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. But faith is just believing trusting that a power greater than yourself can restore sanity

#337740 04/20/01 04:30 PM
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I always think we're like two year-olds who cry and cry because they want a sharp knife. When their loving parents don't give it to them, they throw a fit. <P>We don't always know what we are asking for and we don't always get what we ask for because God is our loving father. He knows what's best for us in the big picture.<P>I believe our suffering helps others come to the Light. Maybe your suffering isn't just helping your wife. It's lifting us up, her nurses and doctors up, your coworkers, the woman whom you renounced, your friends, your family...<P>One day when you are reunited with your loved ones and nobody is missing you will finally understand what all that suffering was about. And in the midst of eternity you will say: "It was totally worth it!!"<P>Thanks to everybody for the thoughts- they do lift us up!!

#337741 04/20/01 08:38 PM
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<BR>I look at faith as believeing that if I get out of the boat<BR>I will walk on water toward Jesus. Yes, Peter looked away at the wind(our circumstances) and took his eyes off the Lord and began to sink...but, praise God, Jesus was there to pull him back up. We take our eyes away sometimes and look at our circumstances. We are only human. It takes faith to get out of the boat and then to know that Jesus is there to pull us up again, and again.<P>I really hate getting that water up my nose!<BR>Praise Him,<BR>gentle

#337742 04/21/01 04:42 PM
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It's so great to read these messages - I am getting through this so much easier now. Most people I know don't have the faith that I see on this board...<P>Gentle, I have to make sure I get out of the boat every day now - I can really see that one and I love that you remembered that Jesus caught him when he did look around. We tend to think we're going to drown if we DON'T look around and follow people's advice but we're wrong. It is the opposite.<P>Anyway, remember the advice to get rid of your lawyer - well I wish I had heard it sooner. I just got a bill from my lawyer for $1700 for not helping... vs. $15 for the Restore book that helped a lot!!! Oh well, at least I found the book and this forum which is helping my faith to grow every day. Thanks to everybody.

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