To other Betrayed Spouses,<BR> <BR> I am looking for other betrayed spouses who are standing for their marriages.H has been living with OW and OCS since June.He has pursued a divorce. I love my husband ,and I am standing for my marriage.<P>"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for,the conviction of things not seen."Heb11.1<P> Love and Prayers,beth

I too, stand (or should I say stood?) for my marriage. I meant the vows I took when I said til death do us part. If you would have asked me a couple of years ago what I would have done if my H were to have an affair, I would say "I'd leave him"!<BR>But when I was confronted with my worst fears, I wanted nothing more than to rebuild my marriage, and I told him that I would forgive him. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I felt my marriage was worth saving. I too still love him. I pray for a miracle to happen and my marriage to be restored. Divorce is emminent (his doing), so I must forge ahead by myself (and man am I scared) I wanted to let you know that I feel the same about wanting to save the marriage.<P>and still loving my husband! <BR>-pet<p>[This message has been edited by REJECTED (edited January 17, 2001).]

Dear Rejected,<P> I have so little faith.Would like to have a prayer partner.My H reads my posts.If you would like email me at Bethfn1@aol.com <P> Love and Prayers,beth

I would like to have a prayer partner, and wish my husband would read my post. It seems like we have alot of the same issues! (as do many on these sites) my e-mail address is PKaspardlov@pmacloan.com<BR>God bless & you are in my prayers, petrie<BR>

Alone1 and Rejected,<P>I believe there are more than a few of us here that are standing for our marriages. I am at 13 months and counting now of no contact by her choice. My W filed for her divorce in Dec. 1999, after 24 years together.<P>There doesn't seem to me to be a MB forum here that people standing fit into very well, and I seldom post lately. Maybe at some point in the future they would consider such a forum if there was enough interest, I have no idea.<P>Ron<P>If you haven't visited them yet, here are several internet sites I have found helpful regarding covenant marriage and/or standing for your marriage. If Alone1's H happens to read this, I respectfully suggest you visit some of these sites also, in particular the Rejoice Marriage Ministries one and read their personal story.<P>Covenant Keepers, Inc. - Home Page <A HREF="http://www.covenantkeepersinc.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.covenantkeepersinc.org/</A> <P>Rejoice Marriage Ministries <A HREF="http://www.rejoiceministries.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.rejoiceministries.org/</A> <A HREF="http://rejoicenet.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://rejoicenet.org/</A> <P>Restore Ministries - Healing Marriages <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org/</A> <P>Family Foundations International <A HREF="http://www.familyfi.org/Main-family_f.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.familyfi.org/Main-family_f.htm</A> <P><BR>

RonS,<BR> Hello,I have never seen you post before.<BR>Thank you for the sites.H usually finds me on General Questions,I dont know if he has found me here.<BR> Ron ,I have been married for 19 years.H first saw on attorney in May.Filed probably sometime this past summer.Got to go,keep in touch.<BR> beth

Hi Alone and Rejected. Ive been standing for almost 3 years now and know all to well what its like to be alone, rejected and betrayed. I like the rejoice ministies site the best. I get daily emails from charlene cares and have for almost a year. They have helped me thru some very rough times. Ive given up many times along the way, but God would always bring me back to trusting in Him thru impossible circumstances. I come here on and off. My story is one of the worst. My wife has manic depression and is a meth junkie. Shes in a drug rehab home for the third time and now on meds (lithium) and we are seeing each other again and im part of her support now and finally we are also working on the restoration of our marriage and family. God does hear our prayers and still does miracles. It just takes Him a long time sometimes to do them. I dont like Gods timing much. Never will. Perfect or not. But i choose to stand if it kills me and it almost has a few times. (minor heart attack) At one point 2 years ago the pain in me was so great i lost my job and everything else and became homeless. Im doing well today and even im healing greatly. This has changed me and im a softer person and i learned to acually forgive from my heart along the way. God will honor your stand, and satan will try his best to discourage you. Its been my experience that the harder the enemy tries to destroy, it shows me that even the enemy knows God is doing a great work behind the scenes. You will grow close to God thru all this and if you dont give up, will have great faith and a restored marriage, in Gods time of course. Nothing is to big for God to handle. IJN, Mark

Dear Mark,<P> Does God truly hear our prayers and answer them?My H met the other woman on the internet,and has been living with her and 2 of her children for around 7 months.<BR>This is the hardest thing I have ever been thru.I get little or no support from friends and family for standing for my marriage.It hurts me to think that H's mother seems to promote this relationship .<BR> Mark ,I hope that i can be as strong as you have been.Thanks for rejoice site.<P> Beth

I too am trying to stand for my marriage, but sometimes I know that my hurt and pain as well as the fact that my H must still have contact with the OW since they had a baby during the affair makes it difficult. All this, plus the fact that the OW and her H were good friends of ours. I feel I have lost so much because of my H's choice to be unfaithful. Plus, he lost a very good friend and colleague when he chose to have an affair with his friend's wife.<P>Sometimes I feel like I have forgiven, but sometimes when I have to hear her voice on the telephone or see her (and our paths do cross often), it makes me sick all over again.<P>I don't know how you feel, but I (for the life of me) cannot understand what makes a Christian man who is a super Bible scholar stray into an affair. I cannot even picture myself undressing and having sex with someone other than my H. <P>Yes, I am trying to "hang in there" and I know that God is with me, but sometimes the pain hurts so bad. I am ambivalent. I love my husband and my child. I want to truly forgive because I know that God has forgiven me time after time for things I have said and done. And I know that sin is sin, but I also know that some actions we commit have a greater effect on other people's lives.<P>In order for me to stand in my marriage and not have it feel like a life sentence, I know I must forgive, learn to trust, and learn to respect my husband again.<P>Boy, this "marriage thing" when you struggle to be one after the one has been ripped asunder is something else.<P>But like the rest of you, I am trying to grow spiritually and in a renewed relationship with my husband.<P>There is definitely strength in numbers and after reading several of the posts here, I know I am not alone in my struggle. I know we are trying to heal and move on. Together, with each others support and God's guidance, I am sure we can do all things.<P>By the way, is anyone going to the Marriage Builders Weekend? I've never been, but I'm thinking of suggesting to my H that he and I go. It just may be what we need.

Dear Stillinpain,<P> I know ,this hurts worse than anything.I would not wish what I have been thru on anyone.I feel the pain in your post.I am so sorry they had a baby during their affair.<BR> The good thing is that you and your husband are still living together,and now you can work towards recovery.<BR> I know what you mean by being sick when you have to hear her voice on the telephone.My H said "we" when referring to hmself and OW,he didnt even call her by name ,and I wanted to get sick.Good luck with MB wekend.<P> love and Prayers,beth<P><BR>

i believe in standing by my marriage, and husband. it is what i promised to do when i got married. i just pray that those whose spouses are dead set against being 100% in their marriage eventually have the strength and courage to move on, and know they tried. god bless.<p>[This message has been edited by happy_girl (edited January 24, 2001).]

stillinpain, did you know there are a whole group of those of us whose spouses had an affair that also resulted in a child? if not, hope you come see us. unfortunately there are a lot of us, and the extra pain of a child is very difficult to deal with. this is a link, it is here on marriage builders under pregnancy/child. good luck in saving your marriage. i know the pain. take care. <P>happy_girl<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number=35&SUBMIT=Go" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number=35&SUBMIT=Go</A>

Alone1,<BR>Hey, don't fret. I'm here to reassure you. I too am standing for my marriage. I have gone to a sight called Restore Ministries.<BR>Their website is: <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> <BR>They provide lots. A book especially for this, written by a woman who went through our trial like ours. It is awesome!!<BR>Are you ready?? God works in ways we cannot see. YES! to HEB 11.1 Don't lose faith!<BR>Firefly <BR>

Dear Firefly,<P><BR> Have something to share with you,please email me Bethfn1@aol.com <P><BR> beth

Hi Alone 1. During some of my worst times, like when she was living with a junkie ex con drug dealer, with our 2 children hiding from me, i spent hours praying and crying to God. I found i would compleatly break down if i wasnt very close to the Lord and i felt God allowed it all to happen for that reason. We have 2 choices, let our situations throw us into the arms of the Lord, or become bitter, angry and unforgiving. I chose the first one, and at time wondered why. I acually had some family members tell me to be a bitter and angry person and get over it, or i just wasnt in reality, get a divorce like the rest of us did. W's family still hates me and the only reason ive given them is that i acually love her unconditionally and gave her a life she never had. They would rather see her life in ruins than to be with me. They are sick people, but i still pray for them. My wife has done some very awful things and there were times when i got very angry and i would just ask God to love her thru my heart and it started to give me peace and even though things were still bad i started to heal. Nothing is too great for the Lord. If you can, dont hold back your tears. Let it all out and tell God how you feel, you will find Gods peace and prescense thru your sorrow and tears. Your in my prayers. Mark

Dear Mark,<P> Thanks for your prayers!Iam trying to find peace with God.I have become very depressed lately.This is a hard battle.Sometimes I still feel angry and bitter.Thanks for sharing your story.Prayers to you and your wife,beth

Dear Beth, this is a very hard battle for many of us. Sometimes i have to look at it all differently to make it thru. Like, God must consider me worthy to make it thru so much hell and still stand and believe God will see this thru. I wouldnt think that thought with any sort of joy or happiness though, and at times i would yell at God and tell Him its just not true about not giving us more than we can handle. I couldnt believe much of anything thru my severe depression that i had for many years acually, but the last 2 years were the worst. I begged God to take my life daily for over a year. I couldnt understand how people could love life. I resented people that would say they loved life, or i need to find the joy of the Lord. I guess i turned my depression into quality time with God and just cried for hours every night alone, and His peace and prescense would be with me. I missed Gods point many times that He wanted me closer to Him and i thought it was cruel that my life had to be so much full of pain to get there. I can now say ive made it thru the worst of it and although i still dont much like life, i have Gods peace with me, even though things are still not so well. Oh and i believe my faith has grown greatly. I do believe and not doubt that God will heal my marriage and the pain in my heart. He has already done a lot alreaddy. Your in my prayers, Mark