Hi. Sorry for being so slow to update with the good news but have had some horrendous junk to deal with since last posting here.<P>Last Sunday, my suspension was publicly announced to the congregation with children present and in a most unloving manner. I was furious as if I'd known, I would have sent a letter of confession to be read. My district supervisor told us he would tell the leaders of the church but tell congregation we were moving due to stress. He also did not announce my husband's new appointment. My suspension was not specifically explained--boss told folks they don't need to know.<P>On Tuesday, we came to the church. I am forbidden entry but H was so fragile, I reluctantly obeyed his order to come in as I didnt want him in there alone. Good thing I made this choice as he totally lost it discovering his key to the room where records and the safe. He went to the head office in our city and threw the keys to the church down and fell down in someone's office sobbing so loud it was heard through the entire large office.<P>We were furious and hurt beyond belief. How could our own Christian leader who is supposed to pastor us but is always too busy with business to-betray H like this? And me-now it looks like I embezzled and H had a hand in the till with me.<P>God blessed us with many congregants surrounding us and loving on us by visiting, holding us while we cried, helping us clean house, bringing food and gifts, etc. These people gave us hope as they were Christ to us.<P>By Wednesday night I began to calm down somewhat and Thursday afternoon I went to get my hair done and while shopping in store just afterward, felt God release something in me. Friday night I actually felt happy and was able to enjoy jokes. Friday morning God told me in detail how we are to behave when Boss Betrayal phones to see us and we are even praying for our boss and those in the church who got him to set H up.<P>So we are waiting and waiting and while it's frustrating, we don't mind as we have more time.<P>H has applied for sick leave so our kids can finish school and he can complete this important round of cancer treatment (this is likely the all clear report we've sought) and what an amazing blessing to have time off together to work on ourselves and our marriage.<P>I feel stronger every day and have been able to visit here more. I hope I am helping but certainly am doing my best to be supportive to others here.<P>I can finally give a little more to my H's EN and that makes me feel really good.<P>So thanks for your prayers so far. As you can see ongoing prayer is appreciated. I hope to soon be well enough to intercede more specifically others here. <P>Understandably I have been denied public ministry so it's very precious to me to have this outlet to just minister by sharing my pain and healing and hopes and dreams and even lessons being learned from my sin that I trust will either save some from betraying or help bring healing.<P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

Freshstart,<BR>I am so very sorry for what you have been through. It is ironic that some of the cruelest people are Christians. Because we know how we should live, sometimes we are quick to criticize those who take a fall. Instead of helping them get up, we want to tell them how bad they were and that this is God's punishment for having lost their way. Instead, we should be loving and supportive. Praise God that he does not treat us the way we treat each other! I am thankful that you have some who are supporting you and I pray that this nightmare has reached it's climax and your peace and harmony will be restored. God bless..

bridgeovertroubledwaters,<P>thank you--you always seem to be here when I need prayer. thanks for blessing like that.<P>tonight although I've done really well since thursday, (sorry I took a sleeping pill and can't type very well as it kicks in now) I am really down again. the boss wants to meet for coffee at 10am today. Every time we've met lately either we get livid at the news as we visit or our lives fall further to pieces within 24 hours following. I feel sick and nervous even though God showed me what to do. I am afraid of what they will say and what we will say as we are carrying a lot of hurt and anger. We don't want to make things worse.<P>This pill is really making me dizzy so I better get to bed quickly. Will post when more alert and alive. Thanks, "bridge" <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

You have touched my heart. We all fall short. It is our nature. People have been very unkind to me, at times, because of bad decisions I have made. I read over on some of the other boards at this site, and sometimes people can be so cruel. We are all hurting. This is a fact. Some, more than others. I hope your meeting goes well and that the Lord gives you the strength to stand tall in the face of adversity. May the Lord touch the hearts of these people that are causing you pain, such that they realize that we all err. This is part of what makes us human. To judge others only causes more pain and serves no purpose. I pray that your coffee meeting goes well and that there is closure for you to some of these things which have, until this point, kept your wounds open. I pray that your husband receives more strength and health from the good Lord above. In the end, remember that you cannot help what others do. The only thing God will hold you accountable for is what you do, or don't do. Try to hold your tongue if unkind words are spoken to you and do not provoke wrath. God will do everything else. May his loving grace prevail over you and may his light guide you through this endeavor. God bless.

Bridgeovertroubledwaters,<P>thanks for your words of advice. Unfortunately the sleeping pill whacked me out of it so H went alone to meet boss couple. We were told this was a no news visit--just in case we found it helpful. We don't feel it will be but have to be polite.<P>Your wisdom about asking God to set a guard over my mouth is right on. When I do go, I will bring a note book and before answering in angry write a Scripture reference (not whole verse) down before I speak so I have to think it through.<P>there must be great evil afoot as the personnel co-ordinator for the country had blood on his liver last week. I think he's OK but more test are being done. He is crucial to their final decision.<P>I wrote somewhere here the other day of how euphoric it was to even feel happy for a couple hours but told readers not to worry that I knew I wouldn't stay up like that for long. Didnt know it would be so soon.<P>Our counselling session went great but this awesome man can hit you right where it hurts-he is gentle but no hesitation to show you pressurepoints from childhood and the past re how you think now.<P>Hope your day is joyful and peaceful. The sun is shining here and our Sun never ceases to radiate His glory so I'm keeping on!<P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start