Please pray for me and my H.<BR>I am trying to understand what makes a man not accept the role and responsibility of a husband to provide for their wives and children.<BR>My husband has a poor work history. In the 11 years that I have known him, he has never been on a job more than 1 ½ years ( And that was only one job he made it that far). Last years taxes, his reported income did not exceed 7,000.<BR>His situation usually begins with finding the job, fine with the job the 1st month or two, then something that he has a problem with comes up, usually resulting in conflict, and ultimately quitting or getting fired.<BR>The current job that he has ( which he started about 6 weeks ago) is a new company and he still has some training to go through, along with picking up normal shifts. This week was his schedule- worked Sun, off Mon, training 3-5pm Tues, training 3-9 (let out at 5) Wed, training 12-7 Thurs, work Fri and Sat. The problem with this? He didn't go to the training on Tues, and today's training he is trying to get out of it if he can make it up at a later day. He said he would prefer to stay at home and "rest" for Fri and Sat. I just called home to see if he was going and he said yes but sounded kinda frustrated, which I interpreted as they told him he had to go. <BR>The prior job before this one, he had conflicts with the other employees, hurt his back on the job(was out for 2 weeks),missed other days, and was put on probation for attendance. We were having major problems at this particular time, so he goes to work and tells them he is having family problems at home, and he can't concentrate and wants to leave early and go home. They reminded him of his probation, and he bascially walked out, telling me that they were trying to get rid of him anyways. There are other stories with the other jobs, but this is just to give you some insight. <BR>He also hinders himself from getting real decent paying jobs, because he smokes marijuana and doesn't appear to be trying to stop. <BR>It is really hard to cope with this, because I am dealing with the pressure of making sure the bills are paid, and I work a great deal of overtime on my job to make sure there is enough money. It is hard to even plan to do anything extra because I also have to watch and budget the money, because if I blow it, then who can I turn to ? <BR>Not to mention he has child support for 2 kids, which is behind. <BR>He does not want me to get a 2nd job. <BR>I have said something about this before,telling him I needed help and was feeling the pressure and it blew up into a big argument, and he told me that he didn't want to continue with the relationship that I could do better by myself. Well, we got through that, but since then I see the same patterns again. And, he won't get any type of counseling for anything whatsover. He is also away from the Lord.<BR>I know that bible speaks about a man not providing for his own ("worse than an infidel"), but how do you deal and cope, when you've stood still on praying for your husband, and the bills keep on coming?

Hello Bianca~<P> It really sounds like you are having a rough time dealing with your husband, and that he isn't really doing alot for you and your family right now. I know it must be really hard to deal with. The important thing is not to give up on saying prayers for him, even if he is away from the Lord. Please try to hang in there and not to give up on your love for him. We will all be praying for you both~ for your strengh and comforts. goodnight<P>------------------<BR>

Bianca<P>If you really want you marriage to work, go to Restorem.org. They have a great book How God Can and Will change your Marriage. If you've been crying out to him, he hears you.<P>I wondered why after all the time praying for my marriage why things weren't changing. God had to change me first. I did not respect my husband and I had hardness of heart.<P>You need to get into God's Word. Stop telling everyone how bad your husband is. God put the man over the woman for protection. The main thing men need is RESPECT. <P><BR>If you can't get the book for some reason and want scripture references I can look them up for you.<P>God will Change him, but he'll change you first<P>Also pray the word over him. God's word does not come back void. Don't look at the circumstances either, Faith looks at the unseen.<P>I will also pray for you both.<BR>

Biannca,<P>What you have is an addictive husband, his behaviours are quite consistant with an alcoholic/addict. The best thing you could do for him is suggest that he might attend if booze is also present an AA meeting and if not then an NA meeting. As for you I would suggesat that you attend an ALANON meeting, there you will find that you are not alone, there are a lot of spuses that have been or are going thru what you are going thru. If your H is an alcoholic/addict his behaiours will only continue untill he decideds for himself that he needs to change. But perhaps he will attend a couple oif meetings for you and to save his marriage, however he gets near the program it might just stick. Dont give up five minutes before the mirical