Please i beg of you to pray that my W finds it in her heart to attempt to restore our marriage. I destroyed the trust by lieing for the last year. We have been seperated for a couple of months and it does not seem to be getting anybetter. I am doing all that I can to change me. But I need you help to pray for us. I beleive that GOD listens to prayers and when a group prays it is even stronger. please pray for me for my W for my stepdaugther and for the restoration of our marriage

Ridensober,<BR>I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. It is deep and wrentching. On Jan 8th my wife and I seperated and if you will go back into the last couple of pages and start with the oldest postings you will here an increadable story of God's hand moving. I don't know your specific situation but God knows your heart and what He needs to do to help you be the husband He wants you to be. He has started you on your journey, welcome.<BR>I would encourage you to let her go. Yes, let her go. A seed needs to die before it will ever grow. She wants to see changes inside of you anyways. You need to work on you and let go of her and let the only one who CAN REALLY change her heart (without manipulation) do His beautiful work. You may not get her back. She may choose to run. If she is truely a believer, I don't think she will. Everything about the gospel is reconciliation. God will work, only if you begin to give everything, EVERYTHING to him. Everything from all of your lies to your sex life to your heart and soul including your wife and daughter.<BR>You've been in denial, I know it without even talking to you. Been there, done that. Stop it now. Give it all over to God and then find two men, faithful, godly men who are available to work with you, (Call Navigator's Ministries in Colorado Springs, CO. , if you need to find someone and tell them you want to be discipled.) and confess EVERYTHING to them. All of the things you did (do) and every thought you've had that was sinful, everything. AFTER a few weeks of this, you write your wife a letter, email or call her. Be careful here. You will either make it or break it here. Communicate to her that 100% of everything was your fault and that everything she is feeling, the anger, the pain, the betrayal of her heart, is all 100% your fault. Tell her you take full responsibility for all of it even the situation she is in right now having to live without you there and all of the turmoil. It IS your fault because you will be held 100% responsible by the Lord for it. Read Eph 5 and see how you are to be like Christ to her, for her. That means getting nailed to the cross for her. And here's where you will make it work... you are going to GET NAILED. She is angry and hurt. You suck it up and agree with her and don't you dare tell her she's wrong. You can say you don't understand something and ask her to explain it more but don't disagree with her. Everyday, my wife let's me have it first before she can settle down and talk to me. but then... she shares her heart with me. She threw me in jail. I still have more court stuff to go through. I was wrong and as a man, I will admit it and hold her up blameless and pure before God. <P>This is a lot on the first shot here. I can speak from fresh experience and from the heart of God. He has worked miricles in my life and now He is starting to work them in my wife's. Other's in here have listened and prayed with me and they know my heart if you have any questions just ask them. You will be ok with or without her and your daughter. God has wonderful lessons for you that will draw you closer to His heart.<P>Write back here and let me know what's up. If you want to talk directly, I would be willing to make myself available but you have to show me you want to do this. It's hard and you won't make it if you are not willing to be a man who turns his whole heart over to God. God be with you Ted ><>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by TGattino:<BR>[B]Ridensober,<BR>As hard as it is I try on a daily basis to give everything to GOD. I have already done as you suggested it is the 5th step in AA, 4th step made a complete moral inventory of ourselves. Evry person I have harmed every thing I ever did that harmed me or another. the step 5 Told to GOD and a nother person all the exact nature of our wrongs. But if it will help to do it agin as you suggest I will. I love my wife with all my heart and pray nightly for GOD to work his miricale in her life. If it be his will for us to be a Family again. I know that the GOD i beleieve in does not beleive in divorce, only in working thru him to be the husband and theman that he wants of me, I will do what ever it takes to gewt thru this pain and be a better man because of it.

I Think you are on the right track. I'm proud of you for doing what you are doing. It hurts. After I told you that you were going to get nailed, I did! It's ok though. We share in the sufferings of Christ as we bear up under it (1 Peter 3). Try the web site Restorem.org/home.html<BR>Stay in touch and stay sober. He will be there for you as you totally give Him all of your heart. Ted ><>

Ridensober,<P>Ted has given you good advise. Please go to the web site he mentioned. Many of us here us that site to find hope and to give it to God. I didn't know how to give it to God until I found the restore sote Ted gave you. Please go and learn God's will for you and your marriage.<P>gentle

You have been in my prayers. Ted you and Patty are in my prayers also. God is working in her.<P>gentle

Hi, Ridensober. Glad to see Gentle and Ted giving you advice and support.<P>You were helpful to me a few weeks ago. I will be praying for you. It's tough. I am a WS and although H and God forgave me, I still have a LOT of bad days. I am a terrible liar but became skilled during A much to my fright. Sounds like perhaps you have had to work that through and still are...you will make it.<P>Ted is so right on with his direction. <P>sometimes we think that saying "if you love someone, let them go" is so cliche...but I find cliches to be more than true. We'll be praying God will keep your W waiting for you.<P>Hey, TGattino, let's touch base soon, Ok?<P>Just wanted to come on today as I miss being here...my kids are home for Easter and tomorrow promises to be busy...today was incredibly good so I'm happy to come on a happy day for a change!<P>Hang in there, Ridensober. <P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

Try to tell the truth every time in the gentlest way possible. Maybe separation can help you relearn to communicate. I'm not separated but I rarely see my H. Now that I have learned what I did to help drive him away, I am trying to communicate in a new way. (It's easier now that I am letting God help me - I couldn't do it before. I was too angry.)<P>Keep loving your wife. Ted gave you excellent advice. Remember that time is relative - you have to let God work in His time without forcing anything or you risk making a bad move. It took the apostles 3 years to be ready for their mission and they had Jesus in person right next to them. All that training and then they left Him in the Garden. As good as they were, as much as they loved Him, they were human like us. It took prayer and the Holy Spirit to finish the training. None of us know God's timeline and His reasoning for our wait. All we can do is use the time wisely.<P>God bless you.