Please pray for my husband and I. He is British and I am American. We've been married for three years, during which we lived in London, England. I left him last May and returned to my family and friends in America.<P>I left because our relationship had deteriorated to such a degree that I was not sure if I even liked, let alone loved, him anymore. Plus, the fact that I found myself going to bed with the Bible over my chest (hidden beneath the sheets) just in case he decided to kill me in my sleep. Whether he was capable of this or not I will never know as he seemed to be experiencing a six month psychopathic behaviour pattern that was progressively getting worse. I was really frightened and did not know what to do. When he was angry with me, which was every day, he would literally froth at the mouth (I even worried that maybe he was possessed). <P>Anyway, those are only two examples of many experiences that I went through with him. I stayed away and sought counseling for myself for ten months. He also finally sought his own counselling in Britian. We had a lot of hopes and then a lot of failures as we tried to continue contact, but there were times when each of us wanted to divorce the other just from the sheer pain and stress of it all. We both also were so hurt and angry by the others actions that it seemed and still seems at times that we can never forgive the other.<P>However, a strange thing happened to me. No matter how hard I tried to forget him I found I constantly thought of him and worried for him...I missed him. I realized I still loved him but didn't know what to do for I didn't want to live like that anymore. Who wants to live with someone who has the potential to scare them?<P>To make an even longer story shorter; I write to request that anyone and everyone please pray for the reconcilliation of our souls and of our marriage. As we trully love each other and I believe are both good people. For some reason God let us encounter these troubled times and for some reason he has given us hope to reconcile.<P>About a month ago I made a long awaited and agonizing decision but impulsively decided to book a ticket and in two days I returned to England. Since then I have taken a room in a shared house (4 women) which is only down the street from my husband. We spend mostly every day together and most of the time are happy, however, we have a lot of pain, grief, confusion, and anger to work through individually and together as a couple.<P>Please pray for us for I know God would like our marriage to be saved. I am trying my best to do what he would like me to do (God that is) for I do not want to walk against him any more than I already have in my life (and boy, have I). Sometimes I doubt and feel God is giving me signs that my husband and I should not be together but then I think that maybe that is just the world and the devil trying to ruin a potentially great thing. For if we are able to survive and conquer this then I can only imagine with a smile on my face what a great marriage we could have.<P>So I beg of you with kindness to please pray for us. Thanking you in advance!!!!<BR>

Lotus,<P>If you want to know God's will for you, your husband, and <BR>marriage then go to this web site.This is were I got my hope<BR>and wisdom about marriage. The book is great because it is all God's word. Please read the testimonies and you will see how God works. We are all taught so many wrong answers<BR>by the world. This book is about God's truth.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org/home.shtml" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org/home.shtml</A> <P>gentle

I am living in a foreign country too - away from family. It makes our marriage so important, doesn't it? I am proud of you for turning back. In this time that you're separated, try to break some of the patterns you set up. What would make him so angry? Did he feel that you that you looked down on him when he got so out of control? Were you distant and it drove him to anger? Try to see how he felt and what triggered that deep anger, if you can.<P>Jesus, help them to restore their marriage by bettering themselves through you day by day. Your time is eternal - help them to have the patience to work out the pain. Bless them for their efforts and let them understand Your presence and love. Help their anger to diminish and through Your wounds, help them to suffer in Your grace. Let them feel the joy that only You can bring.

Thank you for your advice, I am going to check out the website you recommended right now. I need all of the help I can get. I agree we are taught so many wrong answers by the world that sometimes I grow quite confused and loose myself and God's way.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by gentle:<BR><B>Lotus,<P>If you want to know God's will for you, your husband, and <BR>marriage then go to this web site.This is were I got my hope<BR>and wisdom about marriage. The book is great because it is all God's word. Please read the testimonies and you will see how God works. We are all taught so many wrong answers<BR>by the world. This book is about God's truth.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org/home.shtml" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org/home.shtml</A> <P>gentle</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Thank you for your prayer, it is nice to know that strangers can take the time out of their busy lives to respond to these prayer requests.<P>What country do you live in? Being away from family, friends, and my country does magnify every single aspect of my daily life and relationship. It has been the most difficult decision of my entire life to come back but I knew in my heart it was God's will to try to reconcille the marriage, plus I do love my husband.<P>I am trying to think about my patterns that I set up and my roles and responsibilities in how my husband grew so angry with me time and time again. At first I just blamed him and really thought he had psychological problems but now I see the truth and that I am half to blame as well. This has helped me alot and I have been able to release the fear and anger I have for him mostly. He has told me that at the time he felt unloved by me and that he saw me growing more and more distant and that made him panic and react more. Ironicly his panic made me distance myself more. We have talked about this many times and both of us are seriously trying to rewrite our old scripts but it is so difficult at times. I never really knew how difficult relationships could be, I guess I have grown-up a lot through all of this.<P>Thank you once again for your kind words. May God keep you and bless you in your marriage. I hope he fills your heart so that you do not feel all alone in the foreign country that you live in.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tryingtohope:<BR><B>I am living in a foreign country too - away from family. It makes our marriage so important, doesn't it? I am proud of you for turning back. In this time that you're separated, try to break some of the patterns you set up. What would make him so angry? Did he feel that you that you looked down on him when he got so out of control? Were you distant and it drove him to anger? Try to see how he felt and what triggered that deep anger, if you can.<P>Jesus, help them to restore their marriage by bettering themselves through you day by day. Your time is eternal - help them to have the patience to work out the pain. Bless them for their efforts and let them understand Your presence and love. Help their anger to diminish and through Your wounds, help them to suffer in Your grace. Let them feel the joy that only You can bring.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

I am living in Italy. It is hard to be here a lot of times. I have to work in Italian and it's hard to write in another language - I still make mistakes and it bothers me (pride??;-) ) The good thing is I can call my mom at midnight because it's only 5 pm for her!<P>It sounds like the best thing is for you to be separate for a little bit to rewrite the script - what could be better than talking things through as you are doing? That is a huge step. It sounds like your husband was/is afraid of losing you. That is really important and means your relationship has so much going for it. Be patient with your progress and try to see the big picture without getting too caught up in the day-to-day roller coaster. It can be really hard. Let go of trying to control it. (You pretty much have to remind yourself of that every day if you're like me!)<BR>Keep us posted.<P>

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Continue to take it slow until you know for sure he is past the anger so that you are not in any type of physical danger. Hugs.

Please take the advise to go to Restorem.org....They have 2 great books that will help you. How God can and will Restore your marriage and the Womans workbook. God says for Lack of Knowledge his People will Perish. (Hosea) <P>You will the principles that God set forth in his word about how we should act, react or just be quiet. It's amazing you miraculous a situation will turn around.<P>Another thing, if you repent to your husband for any wrong that you have done that will probably break down that wall of anger. (When you you say you are sorry don't make excuses, that is what I did. I'd say I'm sorry I did this because this happened. Don't that's not an apology.) Once I got the books, my eyes were opened and the situation has turned around.<P>The next thing you need to do is take authority by binding up the devil and his underlinks in the name of Jesus. Luke 10:19 Bind up the Demon of Anger, forbid it to communicate with your husband in any way or form, command it to desist its attacks in Jesus' Name. EVERYDAY or as the spirit leads you. The confess scripture over him such as ______ is slow to anger and better than the mighty. Proverbs 16:32<BR>Look up other scriptures<P>I'm not saying that your husband has a Demon, but they cannot communicate or oppress him to influence his behavior. God Says our struggles are not against Flesh and Blood, but against the rulers, the powers the world forces of this darkness, the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenlies. Ephesians 6:12<P><BR>The devil will probably not give up so easy, so stand firm,<P><BR>stay in God's word....It's you major weapon<P>Don't look at the circumstances<P>I hope this helped. If you seek you will find <BR>

Thank you, yes, I know only God can help us. I have ordered one of the recommended books that you have recommended and look forward to reading it once I receive it. I thank you for your advise and prayers.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by krrd867:<BR><B>Please take the advise to go to Restorem.org....They have 2 great books that will help you. How God can and will Restore your marriage and the Womans workbook. God says for Lack of Knowledge his People will Perish. (Hosea) <P>You will the principles that God set forth in his word about how we should act, react or just be quiet. It's amazing you miraculous a situation will turn around.<P>Another thing, if you repent to your husband for any wrong that you have done that will probably break down that wall of anger. (When you you say you are sorry don't make excuses, that is what I did. I'd say I'm sorry I did this because this happened. Don't that's not an apology.) Once I got the books, my eyes were opened and the situation has turned around.<P>The next thing you need to do is take authority by binding up the devil and his underlinks in the name of Jesus. Luke 10:19 Bind up the Demon of Anger, forbid it to communicate with your husband in any way or form, command it to desist its attacks in Jesus' Name. EVERYDAY or as the spirit leads you. The confess scripture over him such as ______ is slow to anger and better than the mighty. Proverbs 16:32<BR>Look up other scriptures<P>I'm not saying that your husband has a Demon, but they cannot communicate or oppress him to influence his behavior. God Says our struggles are not against Flesh and Blood, but against the rulers, the powers the world forces of this darkness, the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenlies. Ephesians 6:12<P><BR>The devil will probably not give up so easy, so stand firm,<P><BR>stay in God's word....It's you major weapon<P>Don't look at the circumstances<P>I hope this helped. If you seek you will find </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Please pray for the reconciliation of my husband's relationship with God. For quite some time we went to Church regularly, did work in our parish, belonged to a prayer group , etc. Then things began to deteriorate between us and the crises between my husband and my son was the finishing touch. My husband is angry with God. He leives God let him down and betrayed him and he refuses to forgive God. He has stoped praying, going to Church, and has given up in having even the slightes relationship with God. He is in the same state of withdrawl with God that he is with me.<BR>Please pray for the reconciliation of our marriage, our family, and our personal relationship with God.<BR>Also please pray for the 41 couples making a Retrouvaille W/E this coming w/e in CT. There is a lot of pain in that group and eight of those couples are currently separated.<BR>God Bless All of You<BR>Catalyst

You are not at all crazy. You are very patient!<P>My counselor told me that my husband has the mind of a 14 year-old and it sounds like yours does, too. THey think they're being logical and practical and explain everything in those terms but the logic is completely disconnected from reality.<P>Do you know about active listening? It's what psychologists often do, they sort of rephrase what someone is saying to make sure that they understand it. Maybe you can try to do that with your husband so he clarifies what he means by agreeing or disagreeing with how you rephrase it. It can also help him to feel listened to because you are paying such close attention.<P>It sounds to me as though he is frustrated with his life and doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe he is having a sort of mid-life crisis.<P>It is very hard to deal with so much anger - I know how that is although my husband was more irritable and resentful and didn't often let the anger show all the way through.<P>I really think that you shouldn't make the big decisions right now. You just moved back. It's early to make a big decision. Cross the moving bridge when you come to it. First you have to get along and reestablish your relationship. I do think it's good that he's including you in his plans and opening up to you even if his decisions aren't stable at the moment. I guess he needs to hash them out but it seems to lead him to frustration which turns to anger.<P>You have so many options and this makes decision-making difficult (US, London, Cambridge...) The important thing is letting him know you want to be together. Also try to understand he might be afraid of moving to the US and not even realize it (I have been down that path a LOT of times...)<P>I will keep you in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will lead your husband to feel your love and His love and that your marriage will be based on the Rock of salvation. <P>Keep writing to let us know how you're doing and any peace you feel. Thank you for your help to me!

Hi Lotus, has your husband ever been checked for manic depression? Sounds a lot like my wife. Her doctor also told me she had the mind of a 13 year old(shes 32) but her being and staying on the meds has been a blessing. We have had a few episodes of her paranoid anger, but we got thru it and i understand now that it isnt me, so i wont get angry back. A few months ago, she told me, she never meant anything that she has done, and im so glad that its true. Be careful of counciling, most of it is worthless. Read the psalms in the bible, they really helped me thru a lot. Like ps 34 and 37, 91 and 107. Your in my prayers. Nothing is to hard for the Lord to handle. Trust Him.<BR>Mark

Hi tryingtohope,<P>Thank you once again for writing. Yes, I agree with you. It does seem most times that my h has the mind of a 14 year old. I wonder what makes our h's this way? Sometimes I wonder if it is a genetic thing or was it some sort of trauma or hurt that he experienced in his childhood that he hasn't dealt with yet. Or maybe it's a chemical thing or maybe it's just HIM! Who knows.<P>I feel relatively at peace today. This past weekend went by relatively okay, of course not without it's usual arguement though. But I am beginning to notice a change in me. That is I am not letting myself feel that it is the end of the world if he is angry with me, therefore I don't react as much nor get as dramatic as I have in the past. This always created an overly dramatic and more reactive state from him. It's interesting for I am slowly starting to listen to him. I always thought I was but I'm beginning to realise I was only pretending and he picked up on it. Now he seems calmer for I am really listening to him and letting him express himself more. In the past I was so afraid to hear his pain or hurts, or even confusion for he used to act so crazy and over dramatic. We have both talked about and realized the visious cycle this created for the more I grew afraid and withdrew from him the more he increased his panic and reactions and then the more I'd dislike him, etc. Now that I am calmer and not running away from him so much and I am slowly noticing a change in both of us. I have faith through prayer that God is working in both of us slowly bringing about growth and change. I am slowly letting go of the illusion that this is going to be fixed lickety split and in a strange way I have found relief in that. I guess I don't beat myself up as much when I fail now for I know it is a learning process and as long as I know I am trying and so does my h then isn't that half the battle? I am also giving him more space for I see him trying and failing and sometimes succeeding too. In the past I'd get fustrated when he failed for I thought it meant he wasn't trying but now I see he is trying. The road is very long ahead of us though and I am sure I'll be writing a letter of angious soon (gosh, that was horrible wasn't it? I'm jinxing myself).<P>Anyway, I know what you mean about active listening...at least I think I do. I have tried that in the past and just confused him more but then again maybe I didn't try it in the right way. I will look into it again. Thank you. <P>So how are you doing? I hope things are better for you and your spirit is uplifted today! I look for you on other postings to see how you are.<P>Lotusblossum<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Tryingtohope:<BR><B>You are not at all crazy. You are very patient!<P>My counselor told me that my husband has the mind of a 14 year-old and it sounds like yours does, too. THey think they're being logical and practical and explain everything in those terms but the logic is completely disconnected from reality.<P>Do you know about active listening? It's what psychologists often do, they sort of rephrase what someone is saying to make sure that they understand it. Maybe you can try to do that with your husband so he clarifies what he means by agreeing or disagreeing with how you rephrase it. It can also help him to feel listened to because you are paying such close attention.<P>It sounds to me as though he is frustrated with his life and doesn't know what to do with himself. Maybe he is having a sort of mid-life crisis.<P>It is very hard to deal with so much anger - I know how that is although my husband was more irritable and resentful and didn't often let the anger show all the way through.<P>I really think that you shouldn't make the big decisions right now. You just moved back. It's early to make a big decision. Cross the moving bridge when you come to it. First you have to get along and reestablish your relationship. I do think it's good that he's including you in his plans and opening up to you even if his decisions aren't stable at the moment. I guess he needs to hash them out but it seems to lead him to frustration which turns to anger.<P>You have so many options and this makes decision-making difficult (US, London, Cambridge...) The important thing is letting him know you want to be together. Also try to understand he might be afraid of moving to the US and not even realize it (I have been down that path a LOT of times...)<P>I will keep you in my prayers. I pray that the Lord will lead your husband to feel your love and His love and that your marriage will be based on the Rock of salvation. <P>Keep writing to let us know how you're doing and any peace you feel. Thank you for your help to me!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hi Lostpup,<P>He has never been checked for manic depression and I have often wondered about that. I have even spoken to him about it but he disagrees. There was a point last year when he was really bad and I left him that he was actually willing to try anything. He had been acting in very strange and almost psychotic behaviour that it scared me and him so I think that gave me more favour for him to actually listen to me (plus the fact that I was in the US and said I wouldn't return to the UK until he saw a doctor and counsellor). Well he went to a doctor and supposedly told her everything (which I am trying to believe), she gave him valuim and sent him off to a counsellor that day! That was good news but they never checked him chemically. I have no idea if that is because they are British and are more old school in their forms of thinking about such things or not?<P>He went to a counsellor for about three months and both of them seemed to think he didn't need any more so there you go. I do agree with you that you have to watch out for counsellor though. Back then I was really pushing for d. to go to a counsellor and sort himself out. It was only once I'd gone through my own counselling for ten months (one secular through domestic violence who was recommended from my christian counsellor) that I realized what a trip they can do on your mind and you have to really listen to yourself and God. It took me all of those ten months though and finally meeting up with my husband again before I realised this. For I then saw in person that he is not the monster I thought he was nor who my counsellors were making him out to be. I was even shocked that my christian counsellor was recommending that i leave him and just get on with my life as i am 32 and do i want to be spending more time on this when i could be starting a family. <P>in my heart i never felt quite right though and i guess that was always God there quietly and patiently nagging me to listen to him for i grew very depressed myself. it was only once i returned to face my marital problems and try for a reconciliation that i finally feel on the right path again even when it's still a difficult path to follow. please pray for me and that i have the strenght to continue.<P>you are a blessing to me for i too used to think my h. was meaning to be so mean to me but he also confessed to me that he never meant to do any of the things he's done. that has helped me to relax and forgive but he did have to tell me that many, many times before i believed him. i am also trying to not react so much and trying to understand him but it is difficult for i grew up in a very bad atmosphere where i had to protect myself so i grow scared when he gets bad and my nature is to run or stand up and protect myself with confrontation (even though I am scared to death). I am learning to have more faith in leaning on God to take care of me and to guide me. this gives me tremendous hope and joy that counselling and doctors could never give me but it is just a start. i guess God has a lot of work to do on both my and my h.<P>i hope all goes well with you and that you find happiness may the Lord bless you and give you joy with your wife.<P>Thank you,<BR>lotus<P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lostpup:<BR><B>Hi Lotus, has your husband ever been checked for manic depression? Sounds a lot like my wife. Her doctor also told me she had the mind of a 13 year old(shes 32) but her being and staying on the meds has been a blessing. We have had a few episodes of her paranoid anger, but we got thru it and i understand now that it isnt me, so i wont get angry back. A few months ago, she told me, she never meant anything that she has done, and im so glad that its true. Be careful of counciling, most of it is worthless. Read the psalms in the bible, they really helped me thru a lot. Like ps 34 and 37, 91 and 107. Your in my prayers. Nothing is to hard for the Lord to handle. Trust Him.<BR>Mark</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Hi Lotus, my wife fought getting checked for manic depression for years. I knew she had it 3 years before she finally got diagnosed. I have a cousin that has it and she had the same symptoms. She had to get checked when she was court ordered into a treatment facility a year ago. it took a year for her to accept it and finally take her meds regularly and seriously. I had depression for years, and it usually just shut me down and life just seemed hopeless, and i wouldnt listen to anybody, when they tried to encourage me. Gods peace has been the only thing that has lifted my depression. Ive been thru all the counciling Marriage , drugs , etc, Most so called Christian counciling is even more worthless cause you tend to believe its good with the christian label, but its only rehashed worldly psycobable mixed with a little truth. If their charging, you can almost guarentee it isnt from God. Prayer and Trust in the Lord is the Only answer that i can see. My situation still isnt over. We have a ways to go, but at least now i can see the answers to my prayers starting to come. My wife lives at her mothers right now and her mother isnt very supportive of us geting back together, nor is any of my family. Sometimes i just dont get why God makes things so difficult. Now that my wife wants to come back and start over with our marriage, i lose my job, im almost homeless and i still wonder why God??? Its been 3 years! What am i not getting! I need to vent, sorry-lol. I wont give up! I can hear God say, ive made it this far and He will be faithful and help me make it the rest of the way, and when my marriage is healed and we have our children back(at my sisters) then im sure God will have more fun tests, oh well. This is the narrow road. For the most part i have such a peace in the Lord now and it does grow. Ill be praying for you. You will make it. God is faithful, even when we are not. <BR>Mark

Hi Mark,<P>Sorry to hear that you are having troubles regarding where to live. I am happy to hear that you still have your faith though. I know it is so hard to believe in something we can not see. I go through this struggle a lot myself. I am sure God will provide if you ask him, in his timing of course (that is always the clincher! HA!)<P>I also can relate to you with regards to family members not being supportive. My family no longer really wants me to be with my h any more either but they also know that no one can tell me what to do for I will do it anyway. I am very stubborn. They also know how depressed and full of sorrow I was over the ten months when I was separated from my h. I am still on the anti-d's... So they want me overall to do what I have to do and to be happy....just be happy. I think my family is actually praying for me and for my marriage to work out since it is what I want. But Dan's family doesn't seem to be that supportive. They are British, if that has anything to do with it and non-Christians...of the world. I think above all though they too just want their son to be happy. But it sucks for I usually am liked and I feel weird knowing the things they have said and done and that they do not like me anymore. I feel it is not fair for I really tried to be friendly towards them over the years and always tried to not involve them. I guess my feelings are hurt but I'm sure my husband's are as well regarding my family for my family used to treat him so well. They are still trying but I can notice a difference, I hope he can't but he probably can.<P>Yes, I've been told that if he was manic depressed eventually it will show it self to other people and/or he will be forced to go for treatment, etc. I am not sure if and when that happens if that is a good thing but I know I cannot force him to go. So I leave it in Gods hands if it is necessary.<P>Thank you for your prayers, you will be in mine and I hope your living situation improves so that you do not become homeless.<P>God bless you,<BR>Aimy<P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lostpup:<BR><B>Hi Lotus, my wife fought getting checked for manic depression for years. I knew she had it 3 years before she finally got diagnosed. I have a cousin that has it and she had the same symptoms. She had to get checked when she was court ordered into a treatment facility a year ago. it took a year for her to accept it and finally take her meds regularly and seriously. I had depression for years, and it usually just shut me down and life just seemed hopeless, and i wouldnt listen to anybody, when they tried to encourage me. Gods peace has been the only thing that has lifted my depression. Ive been thru all the counciling Marriage , drugs , etc, Most so called Christian counciling is even more worthless cause you tend to believe its good with the christian label, but its only rehashed worldly psycobable mixed with a little truth. If their charging, you can almost guarentee it isnt from God. Prayer and Trust in the Lord is the Only answer that i can see. My situation still isnt over. We have a ways to go, but at least now i can see the answers to my prayers starting to come. My wife lives at her mothers right now and her mother isnt very supportive of us geting back together, nor is any of my family. Sometimes i just dont get why God makes things so difficult. Now that my wife wants to come back and start over with our marriage, i lose my job, im almost homeless and i still wonder why God??? Its been 3 years! What am i not getting! I need to vent, sorry-lol. I wont give up! I can hear God say, ive made it this far and He will be faithful and help me make it the rest of the way, and when my marriage is healed and we have our children back(at my sisters) then im sure God will have more fun tests, oh well. This is the narrow road. For the most part i have such a peace in the Lord now and it does grow. Ill be praying for you. You will make it. God is faithful, even when we are not. <BR>Mark</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

From the experience I know of, if he is manic depressive, it will mean that during an episode he won't be able to sleep at night and will go 3-4 nights without sleep and then disconnect from reality at some point in there. He will become afraid to sleep. Right before that, he will have a real "high" thinking things are going SUPER well and being very full of himself and his capabilities.<P>I'm not sure if your husband is manic but I'm not a psychiatrist. He sounds frustrated to me and like someone who has a hard time expressing himself and he blows up, then feels terrible. He may have a lot of past anger to deal with.<P>I think that you're right that sometimes it's a good thing to have a long recovery time because it really gives us all the chance to improve OURSELVES. That really is the key to all this. We need time to understand ourselves, how we relate to others, how we relate to God. It takes time and work to build our relationship to God and our spouses.<P>I feel like you are really rewriting your script with your husband and all this communication is building your relationship up. Your family wants you to be happy (so does mine) but what we all need is the type of joy we have when we do God's will, not our will. The peace you feel is the sign He leaves you to say: "You're doing great. This is the right path." <P>The "happiness" we all try to seek through the pleasures and dreams of the world is not the same thing. We have to try to be content in our situation yet continue to build our relationship to God. The world's happiness is fleeting... <P>Your in-laws will come around, too. It is a shame you're all by yourself over there and they are not supporting you but if you remain pleasant and they see how much you love their son, they will come around. Maybe that is why you are having so many difficulties - God might need you to help Him reach a number of people. He wants to work through us as He has from the beginning through His apostles and disciples.<P>I am having my ups and downs too but trying to stay focused on the goal, not the circumstances. We are also in for a very long haul - my husband utterly rejects anything to do with religion. This is the worst part for me. He said he wants to move out in a few months. We'll see... There is some good about being apart in that I am free of criticism and it's easier to handle daily life without that criticism, but what I really want is a new relationship with him.<P>The peace of Jesus be with you and your husband.<P>(I didn't see your post or I would have written back earlier.) Cheers... ;-)<P>

Yes Trying to hope those are some of the syptyoms, but they can hide those thru alcohol and drug abuse. My wife did meth(speed) so she even fooled the doctors at times. But they get depressed also. So do i-lol. Im doing well, and wife came and stayed with me last night. We had a wonderful time and our relationship is growing. She said i need to trust God with finances and i told her she needed to trust God with standing up to her mother and telling her she wants to go back to me. So these are the areas that God is dealing with us right now and i praise God we agree. Im stubborn like you Aimy, ive always stood up to my family and this time is no different. They really do want me to be happy and have a hard time believing my drug addict/ manic depresant wife could make me happy. Well she cant , but as Trying to hope said, its when i trust in God to restore our marriage and family is where i find peace. Oh i tried to give up many times and my life seemed to get so much better, but i lost my peace, i was miserable and when i turned my heart fully back to the Lord, He would tell me not to give up on my wife and what God was going to do, and i would say oh, no not again, i didnt want to hear that God-lol. But its the truth and this direction has given me peace and and i have the faith now to know Gods hand is on our lives and marriage and will restore, in His awfully slow time... Mark

Mark,<P>I wish you all the best with your wife. I am sure she is going to get better soon - you are really something. You aren't in control of her but you are a great and loving influence on her and your faith will surely be rewarded.<P>

Hello, Aime and Trying. Misery loves company-lol. Seriously I praise God we can lift each other up during these most difficult times. Its comforting to know, somebodys out there makin it thru this and acually trusting and believing God will heal, such impossible situations. With man this is impossible, but with God, nothing is impossible. Somewhere along the way i got to this place of letting go , but standing and believing God would restore. Very few heed this call from the Lord. God will honor us. I can start to see Gods hand in all this now and not just the enemies. I still have my days of disallusionment and crying. I knew in the begining of all this that if i didnt give up and Trusted God to restore, He would be faithful. Just dont know when. There were times when i just didnt think i could take anymore. Still have them acually. But somehow, God gets me thru it all. Theres always hope if we are willing to compleatly trust God, no matter how it looks. I need to hear that probably more than anybody. I still wrestle with God on issues. Thank you all for your love and prayers.<BR>Mark