My husband keeps feeling the need to mention that he doesn't love me and doesn't want to get back together with me. It has been 5 months since he confessed about the OW and he also works a lot and travels a lot, although technically he is still living in our home. I was doing so much better and feeling so much peace until he had to go and reiterate that he never wants to get back with me, even after this affair is over. He says he feels guilty using our house as a hotel.<P>I have been just praying to hold on. I know his situation but for the sake of my daughter I wanted to ride this out and hope the Lord will turn his heart. He doesn't believe in God and this is probably the main thing between us (although there are lots of problems.) He says he is not attracted to me and hasn't loved me for 10 years. (We've been married for 14.)<P>I am just wondering what you all think about Plan B, and when to start it. I have been really nice and avoided angry outbursts and sarcasm etc, for at least 3 months. <P>Can anyone help me keep going in this? Right this minute I am angry and incredibly sad and wondering what I should do. I want to punish him even though of course that really wouldn't help. I want to tell him he is really a jerk because he doesn't need to keep repeating to me that there is no hope for us.<P>Sometimes I would like to get my marriage annulled because he is an unbeliever yet we do have a daughter so that has to be a present from God. <P>As you can see, I am having a confusing night and could use your prayers, please.<P>Thanks for all the warmth and support which I really need right now. God bless all of you in your situations.

Trying,<P>I hear your pain. I got mad at Eric today also. I wanted to give up. Praise the Lord I had Bible study tonight. It was overcoming. Boy, is that God or what? The leader stopped and prayed for me to have peace and for God to bless me because she could see distress in my face and I kept crying and stopping. The ladies in the class are such a blessing. I did pretty good today considering I am a hurting women. I said more than I should have but far less than the before Christ me. It looks like the house must go. Please try not to give up. Satan wants to steal your marriage. Don't let him. Pray that you never have to hear those words from his mouth again. That has worked for me but you must do your part and not say anything that would him to bring up the love stuff. I know it is hard. Please try to praise God that he is home. Faith is believeing in things unseen and not heard. Satan loves to speak lies through my husband that is when he knows I am my weakess. Don't let bitterness get you. Rebuke Satan. Hang on and please keep your eyes on the Lord. You are in my prayers. I am sorry I haven't been hear to encourage you and others as much lately. I am doing better, I think. <BR>gentle

It sounds like you are doing really well given your circumstances. As I am new to this website I do not know your situation or what you are entirely going through but I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you as you have been such a great help and relief to me. What is your Plan B that you refered to?<P>God help you to hold on and be still and patient, don't rise up to his hurtful words and react. I am very guilty of this. I pray that God holds your hand through this tense moment and that he releases you from the anger, betrayal, and hurt feelings you are harboring at the moment over your husbands comments lately.<P>If he feels guilty about using the house as a hotel is not that a slightly good sign? For if he truly didn't care or respect you he could quite easily do this without a concience or worse he could just move out! I am learning in this new book that you guys recommended that God can change everything to keep your marriage together and whole so please keep praying! Maybe you could reread the book again as sometimes it jolts a good dose of positivity and hope back into your veins.<P>I am sorry I am probably not as good as you are with inspiring words but I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you.<P>This satan is such a horrible thing, what havoc he reaks in our hearts and minds! Try to remember that it is him who is also whispering in your husbands ear to get him to act and do the things he does and says for he doesn't want your marriage to work. Have hope and faith that God will persevere and restore you but in his timing. I think it is a brave and wonderful thing you are doing.<P>You should be commended for considering your daughter and trying to make your marriage work. I was one of those same daughter's once whose parents did divorce and I must admit it has completely and utterly messed up my life, my confidence,my relationships and my own mind . I am 32 years old and my mother left me twice before age nine and then I was raised by my father. I am 32 and still I fight and deal with those old demons...so God bless you that you are trying your hardest to work this out! Never fear God always hears you and sees what you are doing and your intentions.<P>Be brave!

When my husband was in the worst part of his depression he professed he "didn't love me, hadn't loved me in 10-15 years, etc, etc, etc." Once I left he realized "I" wasn't the problem and sought help for himself. When they are depressed, they really "don't know" a lot of things. Hopefully your husband can get some medication and eventually things will clear out in his head. In the meantime, you have a hard role. I've been there and know how hard it is.

Thank you all so much - I really needed a boost. It makes a huge difference to feel that someone is pulling for me when so many people keep asking, "So, what are you going to do?" and expecting me to act. I'm scared to even talk to my husband now because I don't want to be hurt but I'll just have to face it.<P>Gentle, that makes a lot of sense that satan would try to hurt me by using my husband to say the most painful things.<P>Lotusblossom, you are right, I am going to reread the book. (Your words are VERY inspiring.) And you are right that if he feels guilty, it is a good sign.<P>Janie, thank you - it's interesting, I did ask him to see someone about that but the person concluded he wasn't depressed, although I still think he has had a mild version of depression for years because he never enjoyed anything deeply.<P>Thank you all again. I do believe in miracles (and I'm hoping for a quick one!!) I pray for each of you to have a breakthrough soon.

Hi Tryin, i do understand what your going thru. My wife was used by the devil most effectivly throughout our seperation(almost 3 years now) Hey she even wanted to kill me(manic No Meds, on meth) Even a few months ago, she wasnt sure if it could ever work out for us and we were dating and she is in recovery(7months now)for drugs and manic depression. She did it all in the begining, restraining order with lies that made me break down and cry, hit me, stole my car and money, hid my children in drug houses, etc. Along the way i asked God to Love her thru me cause i couldnt anymore, and God was faithful. I know the miracle of fogiving from my heart and i cant even feel the pain of the past. I love my wife more now, than i ever did and just a few days ago, she called me and told me, she had no doubts that she loves me with all her heart! She said she was glad she never divorced me, or me her for that matter. So dont give up, God is faithful, even in the most impossible circumstances like mine. God will heal. Thru this all , your going to grow very close to God. When i cry, Gods peace covers me greatly and i know Hes there. We all have our days of wanting to give up and wanting to die, or being mad at God, but God will see us thru them all. I will be praying for you dear.<BR>Mark

I can't believe all you have been through. Your wife is very lucky to have you. I hope she shares in your faith because the two of you will be able to face pretty much anything after all that!<P>It is sometimes hard and sometimes easy to handle this because I really do feel the hand of God. I am so much closer to all my in-laws now and my family has been great too. (His family knows about the OW but not mine.)<P>Your story is powerful. God bless you and your future!<P>