One month ago my husband moved out leaving me and our 3 young girls. We have been married 20 years , however the last few years have been very difficult. I knew our marriage was unraveling but just didn't seem to know what to do to save it. Some times I even screamed at him to leave and now that he finally has I see that I was so wrong and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. We were married at 18 and his leaving has just devasted me. Our youngest daughter who is 4 has been so upset over his leaving that I just can't see how he can stay away knowing how much it is hurting her. I have been to a lawyer as has he, but neither one has filed for divorce yet. He is not helping out financially so everyone is encouraging me to file for divorce to make him help pay the bills. <BR>I talked to him today via the telephone and asked him if there was any way at all that we could work this out and he told me he no longer loved me and had not for a while and there was no chance for reconciliation. He then hung up the phone and I cried and cried until I could cry no more. I then turned this over to the Lord and prayed for strength to continue to leave it in his hands.<BR>Please pray for me and my family. Any words of advice would also be appreciated. Thank you and may God bless each and everyone of you. <BR>

I am so sorry to hear about your suffering. Please don't lose faith - our God has done so many miracles. Remember how much his mother must have suffered when she was found by Joseph to be pregnant and he wanted to divorce her. She had faith in God and her husband returned to her. She didn't talk him into it but the Lord spoke to him in a dream.<P>The Lord will speak to your husband too. It is probably going to take some time, since your husband won't talk to you. I think you're right not to file for divorce. Pray for a resolution to your money problems and don't forget to share what you have with others. The Lord will make sure you have what is needed (although He might not be as enthusiastic as we are about all the extras!)<P>You are in the same boat that we all are in. It is a tough situation to be in, but there are lots of rewards - the main one being that God seems to use this time to draw us closer to Him and to bring out the best in us.<P>You say you regret arguing and asking him to leave - ask for forgiveness and forgive him for everything as much as you can. Try to stay away from anger.<P>If you haven't read about it, a good source of comfort is <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.org</A> - it is a website about restoring your marriage and there are lots of stories of saved marriages. God can restore your marriage if that's what you want. You have to be single-minded and determined and to try to understand what He might want from you in this trial.<P>Take care and be strong for your children. You are in my prayers tonight. Keep in touch.<P>

Praying for you!

You are in my prayers. God will watch over you and, speaking from experience, God does work miracles.<P>Right now concentrate on yourself, your children and your faith. Now is not the time to be making any big decisions and you are right to not file for divorce at this point. <P>I do speak from experience. I too am the mother of four and my husband of 17 years and I have been separated almost a year after he became involved with another woman 20 months ago. My marriage was dead but I just refused to admit it. <P>I did not find this website for over a year after d-day. It has been a lifesaver for me and, ultimately, my marriage. I can remember the early days after discovery when I could barely function and all my friends were telling me to file for divorce. I even did that but I knew in my heart it was not what God wanted me to do. Instead, I have had to learn alot about myself and why we were in this position to start with. I share part of the blame for the state of our marriage and once I admitted that I could begin to work on healing.<P>The miracle is that my husband finally has no contact with OW and we are working on us. That came through alot of hard work and mostly prayer. We are trying to meet each other's needs and to listen. I do not know what the future holds but I have faith that we will make it and have an even stronger marriage than before. We still have a long way to go but there is light at the end of the tunnel and I no longer wake up each day wondering what new piece of jarring information I will learn or what hurtful thing will be said.<P>One last hing (and sorry for the rambling). . . we went on a Retrouvaille weekend in February and it was life-changing for both of us. Very intense, but we learned a whole new way of communicating and we have carried that with us since then. I highly recommend it, but both parties have to be willing to work on it.<P>Lord, watch over this dear woman and give her peace which surpasses all understanding. Let her know that You are with her and keep her and her children safe. Work in her husband's heart to bring him back to her so they can begin Your work of restoration and love. Amen

I heard so many of the same things. My H was willing to help financially, mostly to ease his conscience, so I didn't have the money problems to deal with that you have. Our marriage had been in a stagnant stage for several years as well and there were times I wished he would leave, etc, but when it all came down I was devastated. Once we separated it took over a year for us to get back on track. I attribute our success to the Plan A and the changes it made in me. I will pray for you and your children. It is as hard on them as us.

Motherof4,<P>I will be praying for you. Please go to the the restore site<BR>tryingtohope mentioned. It is were God led me and spoke so many truths to me.<P>In Him,<BR>gentle